F I R E.  A G N I.  L I G H T  F O R C E.

What is your internal fire and life force energy like? In Sanskrit this is called agni.

The divine feminine is all things, including fire. Evoking your inner fire essence creates passion, electricity, and your ability to ingest and digest the world around you.

In balance you are a soul seductress of warmth like a campfire, the sparkle of the stars, a sensual candlelight that creates the mysterious shadow and silhouettes. Out of balance you can burn bridges and cities, or become a dying flame emitting poisonous smoke.

Here are basic ways to awaken your inner fire:

• Movement: dance, exercise, walking, hiking, running, yoga

• Drinking hot water before your meals

• Ingesting spices like ginger and pepper

• Breathing exercises that promote life force energy

• Tap into you your sensuality and sexuality

Make sure you sign up on the Haute List for the next embodiment practices of the Natural Elements. This muse is an entrepreneur, soul seeker, friend, daughter, goddess in the making.

An excerpt from a GOALCAST article written by lifestyle writer Aly Walansky on Self-Compassion versus Self-Esteem.

Read the full article here!

The difference between doing and being

“I see the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion to mirror the difference between doing and being,” said Coltrane Lord, intimacy and relationship expert and author of Love Avatar.  

When we have self-esteem, we are celebrating what we have accomplished in life; our goals, our abilities, and our accomplishments. “These are all experiences that must be ongoing to keep our self-esteem alive,” said Lord.

If you only focus on celebrating the doing qualities, you will feel like you’ve failed if you don’t accomplish what you’ve set out to accomplish.

Coltrane Lord

On the other hand, self-compassion is a quality of being. “When we have self-compassion, we are practicing radical self-love, radical self-acceptance, mindful awareness, presence, and understanding that each of us is interconnected with each other,” said Lord.

It’s about empowering ourselves, and feeling good about ourselves instead of just expecting better. Self-compassion is an active process. It forces us to practice self-love rather than leaving it to external factors that we hope would reinforce it.

“Self-compassion is the truest essence of confidence, which activates self-empowerment and the empowerment of those around you, which is a much more lasting quality. If you fail at something, it will not affect how you see yourself, it only enhances your character that much more,” said Lord.

Thank you to my early readers! Your love brought it up to best seller status!

Love Avatar

This is an excerpt from my latest book. We need a love brigade of feminine energy to usher in the new world where equality, justice, equanimity, kindness, and love reign. I hope you enjoy it.

AMAZON.COM/LOVE AVATAR

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channels open.” — Martha Graham

Hey, soul sister! I just want to take a moment right now to acknowledge you. Your beauty, your wisdom, your light, your love. You are the most exquisite thing on this planet, and in this Universe. I’ll share with you why this is true, and why this truth matters.

You possess an inner cauldron of unique magical powers and talents bursting to be set free. You contain a light so brilliant and beautiful that once unleashed it can never be forgotten. The chalice in your heart is filled with the nectar of the Goddess, and once it begins to overflow and spread, you will leave drops of liquid love everywhere you go.

You may not know it yet, but you are an electric power that creates the moons and the stars and the planets. You are equally a magnetic force that attracts and holds solar systems and galaxies together. Your body has a genius all its own, independent of the critical mind, that holds divine wisdom waiting for you to harness. You have the ability to create anything your magical mind can imagine, and in the most phenomenal of ways.

You have desires.

You have a significant purpose.

Your individual spark of mysterious life force is dancing with the energies of the Divine. The Goddesses from the archetypal realms are dying to express themselves with you and through you. All of Creation wants to be fed by the sacredness of your experiences, good and bad.

I invite you to inhale this Truth…and then exhale any ridiculous doubts about it.

We desperately need more beauty and light and love in this world. We desperately need your beauty, your light, and your love in this world. I am not talking about the superficial kind of beauty, or ego spotlights, or soulless connection. I am talking about an energy that ignites the passion for higher evolution, the kind that uplifts humanity and brings in more peace, love, and bliss.

What would you do with this kind of power? Who would you become?

You, my soul sister, are part of the love brigade, whose mission, if you choose to take it, is to unleash your unique feminine superpowers, and to spread your unique gifts in this world with a passion and purpose that inspires others…in your own way, of course. Your “job” is to learn to create your own reality instead of being dragged, kicking and screaming, in the direction of someone else’s ideas of you. From here, you call in soul love and soul purpose.

How do I know? Because I’m one of the Sacred Rebels here to help shake things up. Sacred Rebels are passionate and pioneering souls who are here to help liberate divine feminine energy, like the energy that lurks deep within your soul, so that together we inspire a glorious world, personal and collective, to live in. Some of us were born with this creative and spunky spirit to inspire an individually authentic life, while others have chosen to join us for the freedom it brings. This is not an exclusive group; it is an open and inclusive tribe that you are welcome to join anytime.

If you are reading these words right now, we are soul connected. We have been summoned together by the golden karmic thread, created by the Goddess Mother herself, that dangles from the great tapestry of Life. She is asking us to awaken to our individual inner Goddess so that we can create a new reality for ourselves, to reach our highest potential as women, to know who we really are, and to do our part to nourish everything on Earth. From this exalted place on the throne of Being, we can do more, create more, love more, and thrive more.

This is our birthright. This is necessary for the transformation from a patriarchal society of competition, oppression, separation, blame, shame, right, and wrong, to a conscious society of collaboration, equanimity, connection, radical acceptance, kindness, and non-judgment. At the very least, this awakening of your divine feminine essence is simply about living your bliss.

This process of becoming, however, requires the reclaiming and unshaming of the lost and forbidden parts that make us whole, so we remember our innermost desires. We must follow our pleasure, do what sets our souls on fire, and simply allow our truest nature to reveal herself. I promise, the moment you meet the real you, you will understand the poetry of Rumi, the sounds of the Cosmos, and the dance of the Divine. This is love.

What do you say, shall we be friends?

{Lesson: You are part of the Love Brigade. This is Truth.}

For more Love Wisdom Click Here

876816096make love.

Love is a verb and love is the most divine action in the universe. Love cannot become a noun unless we stop searching for it and become love in the flesh and soul. How we come back home to love is by understanding what I call the Love Trinity. The Love Trinity consist of Self-Love, Unconditional Love and Intimate love. It helps us understand how to satiate our need for fulfillment, wholeness, and excitement.

Self-love is honoring the self on a physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual level. It involves forgiveness and learning from our past. It is about knowing that you are more than enough, so you have overflowing amounts of love to share. It is abundance mentality. It is beauty. It is truth. It is power. This love teaches us that the source of love is from within. This love is embodied.

            Unconditional love is the love of life, and all that life has to offer. It is the love of All That Is. It exists at the physical, emotional, energetic and astral planes. Through unconditional love we learn that we are always surrounded by love and have the power to heal through love. This love is spiritual.

            Intimate Love includes the flow and exchange of healthy passion and sex and emotions and desires, all at the same time. It requires the mirror of partnership. In partnership, we see our own reflections, our deepest wounds and our highest emotions. This love helps us to know the deep bonds of true intimacy. This love is soulfully mindful.

            In order for us to feel fulfilled in love, we must integrate each part of the Love Trinity. Creating, calling in, and experiencing lasting soulmate kind of love happens when you love your whole self. It is impossible to love your whole self if you don’t practice unconditional love. You can’t test the resiliency of your self-love or your unconditional love without romantic love. This is why understanding the many personas within and calling out the archetypal realms for guidance and becoming Love (with a capital L) is so important. Love can always evolve in our current relationships, we can absolutely call in a lover at the highest frequency, and we can get to that point where we love everything around us to become one with everything.

            You are love.

An Invitation to LoveLove Quote

Life is messy. Love is messy. When we hide the truth of our pains and losses, we don't just suffer, others suffer too. Suffering has to do with feeling alone and uncertain. Knowing that you are loved and someone out there loves you can help. Tell as many people in your lives you love them. Spread love fiercely and freely, for those who need it and those who don't. Love is abundant and it is what makes the world go round.

I love you.

Eden Project

"Eve tasted the apple in the Garden of Eden in order to slake that intense thirst for knowledge that the simple pleasure of picking flowers and taking them to Adam could not satisfy" - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Many of us who identify as having a feminine essence are still unconsciously caged be the stories of an Eden full of betrayal, temptation, and banishment.

We are haunted by the original sin of just BEING.

Women (or those with strong feminine energy) were tempted by the Serpent (also known as Power, Sensuality, Sexuality) to taste knowledge. Men (or those with strong masculine energy) were tempted by the curious Eve in all of us, to know the Truth. We have been punished and made to feel guilty by the epigenetics of this story ever since.

But there is so much more to this tale that has been omitted from its original texts to serve a dominating culture that vilifies the soul essence of human existence, especially women. What if Even was the awakener of mankind, and the snake was life force energy, also known as Kundalini. The apple is to tell us that our senses are important to an embodied consciousness that allows us to remember that we are spirits in a body, not bodies to be shamed.

More and more people are waking up to the Divinity within. This requires the reclaiming and unshaming of the feminine power within each of us, regardless of biological sex. This energy is the life force energy, the serpent power within, which is carried by the sensual flow of each breath. To stifle it, is to stifle the light within.

For those of us who believe that there is something wrong with the blaming of the feminine, with the fall of mankind, I have good news. Your soul may be on the path to a higher vibration. Here are some signs:

1) You are experiencing more and more synchronicities, including finding this post, and are tempted to know more.

2) Your body feels electrified and you have a sense of needing to "plug-in" and you feel spontaneous experiences of bliss and unconditional love.

3) Your senses are heightened.

4) You begin to see the mirror of your relationships.

5) You find that you are beginning "to know" things before they happen.

Let me know if this is you.

7 Steps to Uncaging the Feminine Soul

The feminine soul has been caged for thousands of years. We've been burnt at the stake, seen as lesser than, and punished for the innate powers sourced from within our bodies. We all hold the collective wounds of betrayal, suppression, and abuse.

As the Age of Aquarius draws near, the Divine Feminine is called to free herself from the cages of the patriarchy. If you feel like you are part of the light brigade here to help herald in the new Golden Age, the first thing that needs to be done is unleash your magic.

Here are seven mantras to activate the super powers of your feminine soul;

1) "I am safe and secure in this world." Use this mantra before you go to bed and right when you rise. This mantra helps you dissolve residual fear held in your body from past trauma or negative childhood experiences. Planting your bare feet on the earth also helps when saying this mantra.

2) "I am the Creator/Creatrix of my own destiny. To create blissful experiences with passion, purpose and pleasure is my birthright." You can say this mantra before embarking on any project, manifestation or when collaborating with another.

3) "I give myself permission to follow my truth." The power of your uniqueness is what will propel you forward with success in love and life. When you understand that it is your "weirdness" that is your super power, you gain the confidence needed to inspire and influence others.

4) "My heart is open to give and receive equally." The best way to open yourself up to receiving is radical self love, the best way to open yourself up to giving even more of you is radical self care.

5) "I speak my the truth with my authentic voice." When you know your true north, and your mission in life, your words become precise and intentional. There is no room for excuses or gossip. You begin to express in a way that inspires, motivates and teaches others.

6) "I see beyond the linear three dimensional world, into the deeper knowing of the multiverse." When we focus on a bigger, more expansive Universe instead of our lower vibrational desires, we often get our way with the universe.

7) "I tap into my 'Template of Perfection' - the highest of my highest self to serve the highest good for others."

Mantras are words and phrases that help us integrate positive feedback and imagery and feelings into our body for happiness and well being. I hope this is helpful.
 

To Warrioress with out armour, and Warrior without swords, is a skill worth cultivating.

Initiates on the path of the spiritually embodied feminine, must learn to dissolve the energetic armor brilliantly created as protection from centuries of patriarchal oppression and threat to her body (in this lifetime and/or past lifetimes). Those on a soul's quest to elevate the divine masculine, must now put down the energetic swords that were once protective of this feminine essence, and now cruel symbolic tools of power OVER her.

Taking off the armor is proof that the body’s wisdom fully understands the cyclical nature of life’s evolution — that of birth, growth, death, and rebirth again. Dropping of the sword is proof that the ego is willing "to die" in order to reinstate heart wisdom, equanimity and honor of the Spiritual Warrior who reveres, protects, and loves the Creatrix of all Life.

Most people are afraid of death of the body and the death of the ego. But in reality, we don’t actually “die,” we are an eternal love ESSENCE that animates the body that our soul's live in.

We are not bodies with a soul, we are souls in a body.

We are both Warrioress & Warrior within. Can you strip off your armor, set down your sword, and merge with unity of the self?  From here, the Love Warrioress calls in a Heart Warrior. And the Heart Warrior calls in the Love Warrioress. Imagine the kind of love this creates.

Imagery: Lord Coltrane Haute Life

Ritual: Finding the Love Warrioress

Spritual Sexuality. Sacred Intimacy.

Can “sexuality” and “spiritual” truly coexist in the same sentence? The answer is yes, and perhaps a MUST these days.

Spiritual Sexuality is Sacred Intimacy.

It is about connection.

Deep Connection.

A connection soul to soul, skin to skin, breath with breath.

We all yearn to be deeply connected. It reminds us of home. By “home,” I mean the relationship with an energy much greater and profound and blissful than our physical, three dimensional earthly selves can ever imagine. It is the relationship to spirit, to ultimate LOVE itself.

We get into relationships to re-member what this Cosmic LOVE feels like, that’s why we want and yearn and desire to connect physically and emotionally to another. We learn a great deal about our true nature, in relationship to another.

Unfortunately, we humans also experience the baggage that we haven’t unpacked over lifetimes.

We project our expectations, attachments, fears, and resistance onto those we choose to love. At this frequency, we still have to learn the karmic lessons of rejection, insecurity, control and worthiness.  We have to remember that our painful relationships are direct results of our inner feelings of unworthiness, fear and rejection. The greater our fears, the more we project shame and blame onto others, the more we separate. This leads us to the war of the sexes, a collective energy playing out right now.

At a higher frequency, we can learn to let go of attachments, be flexible, forgive others, forgive ourselves, be grateful, and always act with love so that to our partners can grow and find their path upward too.

Sexual intimacy, at its most potent and exalted state, is the co-mingling of two souls on a journey to awaken to Absolute Truth, the truth that we are all one with spirit, or LOVE.

Spiritual Sexuality attracts us to a resonating being. Our skin on skin contact ignites our outer senses so that we can tap into our subtle senses to merge essence to essence.

In this soul to soul dance, we become increasingly present to the life force energies until the moment we surrender to bliss. This is a bliss of Unconditional Love that can be used to create magic, move mountains, inspire miracles, heal and serve the planet.

This Sacred Intimacy is a connection that is respectful, compassionate, and exalted in the heavens. It brings us closer to Sacred Love, which is the type of love that the Universe intended for us all to experience, allowing us to integrate our most elevated attributes of our inner masculine and feminine energies. This type of love includes wholeness, unity, flexibility and freedom. We have harmony within, which attracts and radiates love. With this type of energy floating around, we find our soul families, our soul companions, our cosmic connections.

Spiritual Sexuality and Sacred Intimacy, then, starts with the integration of you; your most magnificent, radiant, harmonious you. Is this something you want too?

With love & gratitude,

Coltrane

Happy Pisces New Moon.

"The meeting place between madness and magic is where love and light greet the soul."

- Lord Coltrane

Lord Coltrane Winter SolsticeMagic and Madness

     The winter solstice marks a moment for us to choose how we see our lives; Are we in a phase of our darkest shadow, or are we at the dawning of new light? It is accompanied by the Cancer Full Moon, the archetypal Soul Mama who wants to nourish you, kiss you, shower you with her luminous light.

     With the fullness of her loving radiance, the Full Moon wants you to shed your wounds, your blocks, your self-criticism and everything you have outgrown to come back home to Unconditional Love. This is a good time to activate your inner Soul Mama (or Papa) and shine your light from within.

     Let’s co-create with the magic and the madness of the Cosmos, and learn to navigate the current energies of romance, sudden changes, surprises, tenderness, and compassion to get to this place of loving unconditionally.

     Venus the archetype of love, Neptune the soul initiate, and Uranus the sacred rebel dance with the Moon right now, asking you the questions: What is your soul’s deepest desire? What needs changing in your life? Are you ready to surrender to love? Your inner Soul Mama (or Papa!) will have the answers to these questions.

     The vortex of emotional energy from this Full Moon is amplified with the energy of the winter solstice. During this time, we must find harmony between our cheerful and outgoing selves, with our need to reflect inward to support our private selves. We may feel the inner tension of the electric and magnetic polarities, one that flourishes in the passionate doing, and the other that thrives in the sensual being.

     We are presented with the longest shadow and a new beginning, which is the meeting place between the madness and magic where love and light greet the soul. This very center is a portal that asks us to cross the threshold of darkness into the light of All That Is, which is always LOVE. This is the winter solstice of the heart.

     How will you dance in this magic and this madness? I would love to hear your thoughts below.

Lord Coltrane Haute Life invites you to unleash your inner beauty, awaken your sacred sensuality, express your naked truth, and become a sexy, soulful shapeshifter.

Join my coven of Sacred Rebels,  Lightbrigade Pioneers, and Sexy, Soulful Shapeshifters here.

WHY BOUDOIR?

I get this question all the time, "Why should women choose to have their photos taken in the boudoir style?" 

I can often sense where this question is coming from.  Most of us women have been trained to feel shame about our erotic bodies, the same bodies that happen to be magnificent forms that create, gestate, and birth life. We have been trained to shame and judge another woman's eroticism to ignore our own. We have been trained to stifle the very senses that not only come naturally to us, but are essential to living a full life.

The taste for divine love, the sight of beauty, the feel of mother nature's mysteries, the sound of a laughter, and the scent of your beloved's skin are some of sensuality's gifts.  We are alive, erotic creatures that just want to feel whole.

Some women, of course, do have a deep desire to unleash this divine essence to sensually dance within her as vibrant life force.  She does want to experience a true felt sense of her beauty and her power as woman.  And this is where the answer to the question lies. 

We choose to be Boudoir Bombshells to undo shame, to take back our most powerful essence as a woman, and to feel alive.

BOUDOIR BOMBSHELL ARCHETYPE

A woman, through the archetype of the Boudoir Bombshell (as I teach it), allows herself to remember her deep roots in the ancient goddess mysteries.  In ancient Egypt, the Isis lineage taught serpent power, which is similar to what is known as Kundalini, the alchemical fires of transmutation allowing spirit to live within the body as soul.  Spirit being an energy so ecstatic, awakened and magnificently erotic in nature.

Experiencing our Boudoir Bombshell allows us to call forth a sensuality that is often ignored or forgotten.  An intimate boudoir experience is but a little dip into the initiation rituals of ancient goddess wisdom.

For me and my muses, the journey into our inner Boudoir Bombshell is an opportunity to embody the natural sensuality of our truth, to really feel a heightened sense of self, to dig deep into our erotic souls and emerge a little bit more whole.

The Boudoir Bombshell Archetype is luxurious, abundant, full of life.  Her ability to magnetize her desires in love, beauty, and pleasure are exquisite.  She is adorned in only the finest lingerie, her movement slow and sensual, yet she is never serious or attached to anything in particular.  Her lover (or lovers!) shower her with loving attention.  She is simply divine.

WHY NOT?

If the above did not satisfy your curiosity as to why some women choose to try on the Boudoir Bombshell archetype, even in just a photography session, then my response is WHY NOT?  Why not feel alive in your eroticism even for just a moment? Why not try adorning beautiful lingerie instead of shaming those that do? Why not explore a richness of the senses that come so naturally to us? Why not have some crazy fun? Why not?

I now want to experience my inner Boudoir Bombshell by slipping on a silk robe and eat some bon bons. Who wants to join me?

If you are curious about learning how to be an Everyday Boudoir Bombshell and get tips on how to be an effective Shapeshifter join me here.

"Lifetime after lifetime, the heart guides the soul across the star systems and seas until ancient lovers finally meet again - this is home." - Coltrane Lord

MASTER DOWNLOADS

I have been gifted a few downloads from the Masters of Love that live at dimensions beyond this 3D world. 

Whether or not you believe in such things, you still may get insight on how you love, what your relationship is destined for, or how to amplify the love you already have.

I am grateful for the opportunity to work with Karmic Lovers, Soul Lovers, and Twin Flame Lovers.  All are distinctly different.  I take my experiences with these different levels of love as a sign that I am on the right track, and have an obligation to share what I have come to know.

My guides for this post are Isis, Mary Magdalene, Parvati, Saraswati, Bath Kol, and Archangel Michael himself.  All have a point of view on love, and how to communicate this love. 

So it is.

The 3 Dimensions of Love

I am sure there are plenty more dimensions out there than we humans can comprehend, but there are 3 dimensions of LOVE that I know about - these are KARMIC, SOUL, and TWIN FLAME.

What type of relationship are you in? 

Is the love in your soul yearning to ascend to a new dimension?

KARMIC LOVE

KARMIC LOVE is the type of relationship most of us on this planet experience.  Because Mother Earth is a learning planet, our souls will call in the people and the experiences that we need to learn from in this lifetime. 

If you are freaking out and grumpy about my language of planets, lifetimes, and karma, you are DEFINITIVELY at this dimension of loving (which can be AMAZING by the way!).  If you are curious, read on.

What do I mean by learning on this planet? 

At a basic level, some of us need to simply learn how to LOVE by feeling safe in union, by understanding the currency of giving and receiving, by knowing our desires through and with others, by committing to something other than ourselves, and by feeling the erotic life force energy that intimacy brings.

At the 3D level that is the earth plane, some of us struggle with commitment, trust, safety, and self-worth.  Our relationships can be trying at this level through betrayals, boundary issues, addictions, shutting down, and emptiness. 

From a higher standpoint, these can all be great experiences that challenge us to look deeper into our souls, to know ourselves.

For some, the renewal of a commitment, the forgiveness of a betrayal, and the journey towards embodiment and fulfillment is enough.  Your relationships can thrive after learning at this 3-D level. 

If this is your place, I recommend you fully enjoy the process of loving and learning.  "Issues" can be dealt with smoothly when we understand what we can improve on, and choosing to improve on them. 

If your Karmic relationship has changed for the better, yours is a relationship of forgiveness that can be modeled by many.

For others, your soul is asking to be awakened and you can feel it.   You are asked to jump, head first, into the rabbit hole to search for a wholeness and spirituality that your soul is craving. 

It is the feeling that asks, "Is this really all there is?"  The answer is no, there is SO MUCH MORE! 

You can soul search with a Karmic Lover, they can support you, eventually awaken too, or sometimes it means the end of the relationship.

SOUL LOVE

Soul Love is a different type of learning. Here is where you understand that we are souls in bodies, and bodies that are home to our souls. 

It is an "AND NOT OR" type of thing. 

"Woo woo" people who love everybody unconditionally are Soul Lover types. They can call in SOULMATES who love unconditionally AND intimately, with wild abandon. 

At this higher dimension of knowing (say the 4th & 5th Dimension), you start to recognize your SOUL FAMILIES - friends, family members, teachers who are really and truly supportive of your growth and well-being, without any personal agenda.  There is a natural give and take energy, sprinkled with gratitude. 

They help us explore the depth and breadth of our individual souls, and help us expand into and absorb the magnitude of spirit. 

Soul Love relationships are typically easy, in flow, and the sex can be incredibly healing, inspiring, and erotic.  Shame of sexuality together is usually non-existent.

A SOULMATE is the one who you feel bonded to through lifetimes, and they feel the same.  There is a sense of serenity and growth together (versus the individual learning of a Karmic Relationship). 

There can still be challenges between Soulmates and Soul Love relationship, but these challenges are met together without blame.  It is the feeling that the two of you can conquer any obstacle together.  This is a truly beautiful type of relationship, which can be intense or soothing or both!

Lucky you if you are in this place! Enjoy! Yours is a relationship of inspiration.

TWIN FLAME LOVE

Twin Flame Love is a very rare and complicated love that has a greater purpose.  When reunited, they are intended to amplify LOVE and CONSCIOUSNESS on this planet.

Twin Flame Love is the Sacred Union of two souls that are one. It is an ancient feeling of finally coming home to yourself.

If you have a Twin Flame on this planet, you will meet and your meeting will seem random at first.  When your paths do cross, the bond will be intense and immediate.  Give it time, for when you look back at your situation, all will seem perfectly orchestrated.  That is the consistent account of the Twin Flame's right of passage.

To amplify LOVE and raise CONSCIOUSNESS is a lofty goal of ascension that only a few souls have agreed to do.

Twin Flames are souls initiated for ascension, but split in two. These souls, now existing in two different bodies, have experienced many lifetimes separately to learn as much as they can before coming back together.  Although many have yet to awaken to the truth of their destiny, these souls have chosen to come on this planet for a reason - to find each other and remember their inspiring purpose.

The Twin Flame journey can be a challenging experience because one person is usually farther along the process of awakening than the other.  The one further along might need to help the other awaken and support the awakening.  They also mirror for each other the healing of wounds that must happen before the soul can ascend, so personal issues like self-love, self-worth, self-trust, and knowing the Divinity within come up to haunt us into deeper healing.

I know this all sounds coo coo crazy as it is (but I am not going to fuck with the Divine's message to me!), so you can imagine what it is like for someone who was suddenly hit with a LOVE BOMB and expected "to get" the bond, the purpose, the soul, the spirit, the love at this intense level right away. Usually they freak out and run the other way.

When Twin Flames finally get to reunite, it is two beings, fully Human and fully Divine, in Sacred Union walking the path of HEAVEN ON EARTH. 

On a basic level Twin Flames experience bliss, joy, abundance, cosmic rapture, and erotic fire just by holding hands. The love and energy is so great that their very togetherness ignites the souls of others...and so the ascension of the human spirit begins to amplify and raise CONSCIOUSNESS to a higher level. 

If you are a Twin and found your Flame, dig deep into your knowing and understand how special you are... AND, thank you for amplifying love and taking us all higher.

Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly...

CocooningPreparing yourself for a magnificent transformation.

COCOONING, THE NEW MOON, AND THE NEW PHASE

The New Moon is the perfect time to learn how to "cocoon" into a new phase of understanding LOVE and BEAUTY that exist within the magnificent creature that is you.

New moons have the energy of new beginnings and new growth, which require transforming old patterns, energies and wounds into something more miraculous.  Like the caterpillar, who must create her chrysalis as the safe place to literally dissolve her old body in order for it to transform into a butterfly, we too have the capability to transform our old being into something even more powerful, more beautiful, more graceful and more meaningful.

VENUS IN AQUARIUS

According to my friend and astrologist, Pat Liles, in her New Moon Updates, the planet Venus (currently near both the Moon and the Sun) is heading into the Underworld, perhaps forcing us to look at our old wounds with a new perspective.

We all know Venus as the planet of Love, as well as the Goddess of beauty and romantic love.  Most of us seem to focus on this "love" as something outside of us, maybe because we all share the same desire, to simply Love and be Loved. 

What if we are supposed to love ourselves fully and and completely BEFORE we can even get to Unconditional Love?  Fortunately (or unfortunately!), the Universe has given me plenty of signs to go within and heal my own wounds of unworthiness and "not enoughness."  So here I go!  I think many of us (men and women) are currently being challenged to truly get to wholeness before we can really share our love with another person in a more sacred way.

Even if you are currently in partnership, it may be beneficial to look deeply into your current needs and desires, understand if you are relating from a place of old patterns, and really get clear on how you want your future to look like.  This New Moon is a great time to do this, since it is a time for change and new beginnings.

So how do we even begin to do this?  We take the lesson from the caterpillar and create our own cocoons for the benefit of our own growth into Self-Love and Self-Empowerment. 

Let's become the beautiful, magical, awe-inspiring butterfly like creatures we were meant to be, shall we?

What exactly happens INSIDE the safety of the cocoon?  In order for the caterpillar to change into a butterfly, his body must be broken down in a process called holometabolism, where digestive fluid breaks down the body of the caterpillar into cells called imaginal cells, meaning they can transform into any type of cell, forming the new body.  The process could take weeks or months.  OUCH! But it's also really amazing.

Think of the imaginal cells as intention and pure potential. We can imagine everything we want, really feel into it, really believe it.  The caterpillar never second guesses his potential to be a Butterfly.  She just KNOWS it will happen.  We have to do the same thing.

If you are ready to transform with the powers of this New Moon, let's start with the Cocoon Phase. Here's how:

Cocoon Phase Ritual:

1) Find yourself a quiet and safe place to meditate on your intentions for 2018 (and beyond!).  What do you want on a soul level, and material level? What do you want in your relationships? What do you want for personal growth?  Some of us want things for other people, like our family, but try to focus on yourself, since you are the only one disintegrating into pulp! You will be able to inspire later.  Write a list of all your desires.

2) Journal about what type of person you would be if your old patterns were transformed for the better.  How would you think, act, communicate? Where would you be living? What would you be wearing? How would you love? What would your relationships look like? And most importantly, how would you feel?

3) Make a list of all your past limiting patterns, old wounds, bad habits, insecurities, and fears.  Try to be as honest as possible, after all this is for you!

4) Journal about your relationships (especially the difficult ones) and how you act, react, communicate. Write down what really runs through your mind, is there jealousy, competition, blame?

5) Thank and honor the list you want to release.  Own that they are part of you, then rip it up and burn it.  You can also take the ashes and throw them into the sea, or plant them under a tree so they are taken by the strength and love of mother earth.

6) Try to distill the fears, blocks etc. to its essence. Mine for this New Moon will be "unworthiness."

7) Set the intention for the release of this old wound and for the transformation towards "worthiness" and Unconditional Love.

Simply setting your intentions during this new moon is enough right now (it might even be the easiest part!).  Maybe by the Equinox we will be ready to turn into pulp (ouch!) and begin the true transformation. It will be worth it!

- Coltrane Lord

Sacred Masculine with Sacred FeminineSacred Union

This letter was first published in The Good Men Project online magazine. I am so grateful they have started the conversation to what an elevated man really is.  The union and harmonization of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies within each of us will amplify love on this planet.  Enjoy!

◊♦◊

Dear Sacred Masculine,

I want you. I really do.

I want to know and worship every ounce of your body, mind, and soul. Not all at once, but slowly, so I can savor every single morsel of you.

I don’t want to claim your freedom, but I do want to unleash you towards a higher consciousness that pulls in desire and amplifies a cosmic kind of love.

If I must tempt you even further—yes, this type of love does include mind-blowing sex.

I long to know your power. The power that lies beyond aggression, competition and the diminishing of others, especially women.

It is the kind of power reserved for superheroes and gods; solid, enduring, capable, and otherworldly. This is a power of pure potential. It ignites and contains a chaotic and ever expanding Universe—a whole woman. When you use your power in this way, I will shower you with the appreciation and attention you deserve.

A feminist man is really sexy.

I want to hold and be held by the safety of your flesh, so that I may free my wild side from societal cages, surrender in tenderness, gyrate with creative life force, and show you what my erotic creature is greedy for.

I am a huntress of desire who equally wants to be hunted, a warrioress for truth who will show you the way, a seductress of sacred sexual connection who wants to love, make love, and fuck. I am a tornado, a soft breeze, a blazing fire, candlelight, the depth of the ocean and a peaceful river. I am a shapeshifter that feels and emotes with the full 88 keys of a piano—can you handle me? I need you to be the sacred container that can, and then I’ll blow your mind.

◊♦◊

The heat in my heart and in my groins only ignite in safety—you have no idea the power of the Divine Feminine allowed to reveal her true nature.

I wish to hear your fears and your deepest desires. I am both a nurturing Mother Mary who bleeds with unconditional love, and the shameless Mary Magdalene whose calling is to resurrect the Divine Masculine from the ashes of a dominating patriarchy through erotic love.

Surrender to me, so I can show you the proper way to dominate in love and love making.

I crave to be penetrated by your focused gaze. First through my eyes, then into my heart and soul. I want you to worship my entire body as she is, especially at the center of my sex, where the magic of all creation begins. Linger on me, tease me, tempt me, taste me, and now penetrate me with your body.

I want to love you in your naked truth—a grown man who journeyed within himself to heal the boy and find his heart, who has compassion for others, and continues to be devoted to his highest self.

No one can emasculate the Sacred Man.

It is the merging of the Divine Masculine with the Divine Feminine that will awaken this world to a new way of relating, and magnify the love that this earth so desperately needs right now. Will you melt into me with sacred love and ecstatic bliss to get there? I want you to.

With love, adoration, and so much desire for you,

The Sacred Feminine.

VIRGINS DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW

Many of my friends have questioned why it took me so long to experience Burning Man. 

I have a creative mind, I live openly, I try to make it a practice to be inclusive and nonjudgmental.  I am all about personal expression.  I love any opportunity for masks and costumes.  I am a provocateur of contrast. 

So why the heck did it take me so long to get there?

Similar to my sexual virginity, I guess I didn't know what I didn't know.  Although the idea enticed me, I had never had a true burning desire to initiate the process.  Maybe I wasn't bold enough to seek out the unknown, or wild enough to fall for a man who I knew would soon burn up in flames shortly after I got to know him. I don't know. 

Perhaps being seduced into a flaming hot love affair comes at the perfect timing.

THE AGONY AND THE ECSTACY OF INITIATION
 

Like anyone's "first time," you cannot prepare enough for the agony and the ecstasy that is about to unfold. 

When people talk about having a good first experience, they warn us that it can be a little messy (or a lot dusty!). 

There is no point in trying to explain how dusty it is, or how the elements can change in an instant, or how important it is to drink water and light yourself up at night.  You just cannot imagine some of the challenges until you get there.

Like love experts, experienced burners would say that radical self-reliance is a must so you aren't needy, that participation in giving and receiving is key to fulfillment, and that the magic of The Playa will provide for all your desires.  Go with it, they say, let the journey take you.  Soon your sensual body will take over your critical mind.

At the beginning, it did hurt a little, like when I had to drag my heavy bag down a dusty road with no road map. I had a hard time trying to figure out where I was on the clock so I could find my camp. The art car had broken down and there was no cell coverage to let me know that I would not be picked up at my landing spot.

Yet, I remained open and curious.  I fully surrendered to what was, and began to attract the people I was supposed to meet. 

First off, I met my Gaurdian Angel, who happened to be staying at the same camp (the Playa really does provide!). We bumped into each other on a bus that dropped us off nowhere near our camp. This lovely angel helped me lug around my heavy bag, until we conjured a ride to camp in a silver golf cart.  It was comforting to be with another virgin, awkwardly and slowly making our way through the heat and dust, standing out by our blindingly clean clothes.  We got to camp just before a raging sandstorm uplifted a yurt.

When I finally got into the groove that night, the never ending rhythm of electronic dance music started to penetrate my skin.  I soon got lost in the intimacy of experiencing every single sensation until a cosmic explosion of neon lights, mind-blowing art, dancing bodies, friendly faces, and a pulsing electronic heartbeat made my whole being convulse with aliveness.

The man had seeped into my soul.

Like sex, there isn't a description out there that could fully allow a virgin to understand the feeling. You simply have to experience Burning Man to really get it.  Even pictures do not do any justice to the scope and scale of what goes on.  And mostly it is because of the quality of people involved.

A LOVE TRIBE OF FIERY SOULS

I went to Burning Man alone (sort of), and left with a love tribe of fiery souls.

Although I knew just  few women at my camp, The Love Tribe, I had never spent long periods of time with any one person there. Most were new names and faces.  I hadn't yet found my "good" friends from home that I had planned to meet up with.  I never did find them, and it didn't really matter.

I had fallen in love with every stranger I met, which made my first experience so memorable.

I met The Wizard, who created magic wherever he went.  My Guardian Angel who was such a gentleman.  The amazing High Priestess who guided us in a Brazilian Tribal Tobacco Ritual.  There was the Hindu Goddess, the Golden Fairy, the Innocent Tease, the Playful Ingenue, and the Kundalini Queen who were all gorgeous women wanting to expand and explore too.  I was taken by the Songbird and his voice - even in silence his soul kept singing.  There were the Artists, the badass Mission Impossible dudes, and the Superhero who gifted me the kindest words.   Fire Dancers, Healers, Magic Walkers were all around me, all so special in their own way.

MASKS & COSTUMES & ME

It was harder for me to figure what to NOT to bring than what TO bring.   "Dress up" is one thing I love to do. 

People go all out at Burning Man, and it's so inspiring.  I realized that we are shedding off of one mask which represents a socially conditioned life full of "shoulds,'" and switching it for another costume that represents infinite possibilities of "what ifs."  This trying on, or really the revealing of, a variety of personas is me.

The celebration of self-expression and individuality is what we diversity enthusiasts are striving for in the "outside world," and it happens so naturally at Burning Man.   Perhaps the "outside world" should try to shed a few pieces of clothing to get to their truth. 

They say that art is the great leveler, connecting people from every walk of life because it is the language of the soul.  That is true in the desert.  The artistic genius is so big and vast and magical and fantastical, I don't have words to do it justice, you just have to see it for yourself. 

Many people say Burning Man changes there lives. I get that.  Burning Man didn't change my life. Instead, it validated who I already am in this world, which is a very cool thing to realize about oneself. 

And now that I've been awakened, I guess I can never go back to being a virgin.  So, I will dive back in with my open heart and my open mind and relish more of what Burning Man has to offer me.  

I'm still smitten.

- Buddhist Proverb

NO MUD, NO LOTUS

We have all experienced being stuck in the mud.

Perhaps your experience was in a swamp-like place filled with sticks and stones, disappointment after disappointment, grief, or boredom that clung to your very soul and pulled you deeper still.

Maybe you wanted to sling mud in a fit of rage at someone or some thing. Maybe you wished you would just drown already in the thickness of sludge.

I too have had plenty of these swampy moments.  I've lost a dear friend who threw himself from the Golden Gate bridge and disappeared into the Pacific Ocean. I've been attacked by "mean girls."  I've experienced abuse and betrayals.  I've lost and I am losing too many loved ones before their time to cancer, ALS, heart failure.  I dread the voice of the alt-right.

All of these experiences are exchanges of an epidemic suffering of our souls.

In his book, No Mud, No Lotus, Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh explores the art of transforming suffering by embracing it rather than fighting it or suppressing it.  “Breathing in, I know suffering is there,” is the Zen mantra, “breathing out, I say hello to my suffering.”

GRIT AND GRACE

Learning to LOVE the mud, and to see the swamp experience as an opportunity, is how many spiritually based cultures view the metaphor of the lotus flower.

The lotus flower roots in the mud.  It can regulate its temperature to 90 degrees, so is warm to the touch.  The lotus flower submerges itself each night into the murky waters and reawakens each morning unsoiled.  The lotus flower is made of both grit and grace, its petals are unaffected beauty.

DIVINE BEAUTY

Rebirth, reawakening, enlightenment all come from a knowledge rooted in the mud.  It is the contrast needed to truly appreciate the goodness, the sweetness, the beauty of life.

For those of us who were gifted with these experiences of deep suffering, we are the sacred elegant flowers called on to inspire others out of their suffering.  We are the lucky ones.

Our culture right now is suffering with hate and fear. It is spreading too fast and touching too many.  This moment might be the moment when we really need to root down in the mud, feel into it, smear it all over ourselves, welcome it. 

With compassion and love for all, let's find the strength to recreate and rebirth the sacredness of humanity.

Will you join me in owning the exquisite gift of the muddy swamp, and rise from it to the heights of our Divine Beauty?

PAYDATE! ADULTS ONLY.

Do you remember having playdates with friends when you were a kid?

Playdates are known to help us develop socialization skills, offer us a sense of community and bonding, open us up to new ideas, and allow for a joyful and fulfilling experience.

I miss having playdates!

Now, I find myself among many adults who take themselves way too seriously.  When did we lose our love for those magical moments of awe?  Why did we stop having playdates? 

Worse, I find that many of us have taken our intimate relationships to the opposite of fun.  We have fallen into the tedious reality of functional.   I can't be the only one who has experienced intimate relationship boredom. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m determined to have more fun. So, I'm creating playdates with my lifelong lover to add more juice to what could easily turn into a cliché and statistic.

I’m grateful that I have a good deal of experience and practice in creating playdates with my clients.  I'm lucky that I’m really good at it, and my skills easily translate into creating playdates with my lover.   And the great thing is, we are all naturals at playdates because we’ve all been kids before. You too will definitely be good at this. 

So let’s play!

When I play I think of these 5 simple ways to creating an adult only playdate with my lover:

1) SCHEDULE A PLAYDATE. “Want to Play?”

Send a text or an invite with your desire to have an adult playdate.  This alone will shake up the routine that may have settled into your relationship.  Pick a date and stick to it.

2) SET THE SCENE. “Let’s play doctor!”

Figure out what you are in the mood for.  Do you want to release some energy? Do you want intrigue? Do you want romance?  Remember what your favorite things to play were and go from there. Truth or Dare? Hide and Seek? Chase?  Cops and robbers can turn into a 007 dinner scene where you try to seduce secrets out of each other.  Tell your partner what the theme is, and give instructions.

3) EXPLAIN THE RULES. “I’m the doctor, you’re the patient.”

Expectations are important in play, otherwise how do we know if the other is playing by the same rules? Give each other an out by establishing an end of game time, or reasons to stop playing.  Taboo topics should be clearly stated. 

4) GET EXCITED WITH PROPS, COSTUMES, AND TOYS. “We’ll need a stethoscope and some gloves.”

This is your moment to play a role you’ve always fantasized about. I’m currently into Atomic Blond (I’m a brunette!).  Wear the right clothes, the make-up, the accessories that take you into another dimension of self.  What are the “toys” you need? Use your imagination!

5) HAVE FUN!

This is the part that might be the most difficult, because as you might recall, we take ourselves way too seriously at times.  Kids play until they no longer want to, and it’s never an issue.  They either stop or play something else.  At least for your scheduled playdates, keep everything light.  If this game fails, there is always another opportunity for another better game. Remember it is just play!

Enjoy!

"In Every Woman There is a Queen"

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CARE AND SELF SOVEREIGNTY

Sometimes I feel as if I have been kept captive in a dungeon, beneath a foreign palace, in a faraway land.   All I want is to go home and finally be the queen of my own domain.  I want freedom, I want joy. I want safety. I want love.

I believe in each of us, there is a jewel that is prosperous, loving, sexy, safe, and peaceful.  It is a pearl sized force that lies at the center of our many opposing and intense energies, coming together in an integrated whole. 

This pearl sized presence in my core feels like a sparkle of energetic light, a nourishing force that helps me own any and every situation.  To get here is a journey, but when I find it, I can collapse in my freedom and joy, my love and safety.  This place is full of infinite possibilities.

What is the secret to getting to this crowned jewel?  I believe self-sovereignty is the key to entering our Queendom and all its imperial magic.

Let’s imagine that the fortresses of our Queendoms are our precious bodies.  They are fortified with elaborate acts of self-love which creates the foundation for safety, protection, and community.  Since it is a long and often dark journey to know thyself, perhaps the most important first step towards entering the castle is unapologetic self-care of the mind, body and spirit.  By self-care, I mean simple things like nourishing meals, massages, exercise, plenty of rest, meditation, community, and playdates.

Let’s also imagine that the palaces of our Queendoms are our souls.  They are elevated by fierce self-sovereignty which aligns us with our highest potential.  The key to self-rule is to outgrow the conditioning from outside influences of the patriarch, which have kept us in perpetual princess mode, and learn to be guided by our internal rules that brings us back into the vortex of our individual being-ness.

The road to my Queendom is one of twists and turns, with plenty of potholes, falling boulders, and trees blocking the way. Still, I can see that the silhouette of my sacred throne is not too far away.  I get closer and closer to it with more self-care, and more self-sovereignty.  

I look forward to the moment that I feel worthy enough to sit at the throne of my own Queendom.  How about you?

Subtle innuendos follow. There must be something inside"

-Adam Ant

VICES &VIRTUES

In every vice hides a virtue, and in every virtue hides a vice.  At least that is what I’m telling myself.

When I switched to my new doctor, she asked me if I smoked or drank or used recreational drugs.  She was happy with my answers and healthy choices, but I felt really boring telling her I had no vices.  Or do I? 

I often feel guilty for a lot of things; like eating too much, feeling too lazy to work, getting angry at a family member, bragging, wanting more of (fill in the blank), cursing the tall, skinny model walking down the street, and especially owning my own sexuality (I’m waiting for lightning to strike now!).  Of course, all these things I feel guilty about are the seven deadly sins (which I am both fearful of and intrigued by).

HOLY GRAIL

Perhaps our virtues and our vices are really just different sides of the same coin.  The contrast is not to determine what is good or bad, or who is going to heaven or hell, but maybe to keep us in balance so that we can continue to grow and expand into better versions of ourselves.

I take contrast as an individual inner compass that allows me to navigate what works for me.  If it feels good to my inner being, whether a vice or virtue to others, then could this perfect balance be the Holy Grail I am searching for to guide me along my karmic path to a heaven on earth existence?

Those that judge me simply don’t understand that their inner compass has different boundaries than mine.  As long as we aren’t hurting anyone else, who is to say what degree makes a virtue versus a vice? 

7 DEADLY SINS

I don’t recall anyone explaining how much is too much of any of the seven deadly sins.

Although I do recognize that people can harm others when their actions lack compassion, most people are ready to criticize and judge based on their limited views and experiences.

LUST or LOVE?  Many people judge lust as “inappropriate,” without fully understanding the depth of healing that comes from passion, healthy sexuality, and desire.   I know how much sexual healing is needed from all the shaming of women.  My own long journey to reclaim my birthright as a sensual being has showed me what a profound gift our sexuality is.

Sex, passion, and desire are powerful energies not to be ashamed of.  They gives us the ability to create art and humanity.  The intimacy it provides is also a language of love that we all need.

GREED or ABUNDANCE?  Am I greedy, or do I have abundance mentality.  I do want more than just the basic necessities.  Do I need another pair of shoes? No. But yes I will buy another pair, I’m sure of it.  Is that a sin or am I appreciating someone's creativity and skill?

Are wealthy people greedy or do they have ambition.  I know of many wealthy people who share their abundance through philanthropy – a virtue in my book.

SLOTHFULNESS or SELF CARE?  I believe in rest and relaxation.  Doesn’t the bible say to rest on the seventh day? 

I love a good vacation, a catnap in the afternoon, and sometimes I dread getting out of my warm bed in the morning.  Maybe my sleep and nap habits are laziness to another.  Who is to say how much is too much?

PRIDE or SELF-AWARENESS?  There is so much advice out there telling us to think positively, especially about ourselves.  If we think we are beautiful then we are.  If we can imagine success than we can attain it. 

To feel pride in our accomplishments is a natural way to acknowledge the self.  Pride is seeing ourselves in the best light.  It is essential to the Law of Attraction.  We are supposed to match the vibration of our desires, which means we have to believe in all the positive aspects of ourselves.

ENVY or INSPIRATION?  I do envy a beautiful singing voice (Adele), bold humor (Amy Schumer), and natural beauty (Giselle…lucky bitch…just kidding).  I don’t want to be any of these women, I just get inspired by them.

I have taken up singing lesson (went from horrible to somewhat tolerable!), I try to find humor in all of life now, and I was recently inspired to purchase the Fascia Blaster and use more sunscreen. Sins? I don't think so.

GLUTTONY or FULFILLMENT?  Or flat out hunger?  If you have ever enjoyed a Thanksgiving dinner, then you will understand that indulging can be a festive and joyous thing.  I really don't need to say any more on this, but I will.  Why is under indulgence not a deadly sin and over indulgence is?  In terms of food, under eating is just as harmful.  Plus, many people are masking a pain.  Wouldn't it be better to be compassionate and help them overcome the underlying issue than to shame? 

I happen to know first hand that I must fill myself up first before I can be the nurturing caregiver, mom, wife, friend that I am.  Even the airlines tell us to put on the oxygen mask first before helping others. 

WRATH or EXPRESSION OF TRUTH?  I think there is a lot of violence out in the world because we don’t allow ourselves to release rage in a safe container.  We are often told not to cry, scream, kick etc.  Kids are naturals at this.  What they could be taught is to have their fits in a safe and secure place so that others will not be affected by it, instead of squashing a necessary outlet.

I know many women (besides the 5 million members of the worldwide Women’s March) who needed to get their rage out of their bodies after last year’s elections.  I danced it out, screamed it out, swamped it out with some really incredible and balanced women.  I feel like our rage turned into fuel…a good thing.

SINNERS & SAINTS

Perhaps my seven deadly sins are also my seven holy guides that will show me contrast and variety to teach me lessons of conscious expansion.  Maybe it has nothing to do with right and wrong.

I am the goodie two shoes that my doctor prefers me to be. And, I might have other secrets that would cause you to label me as "bad girl."  It's hard to please everyone. 

Considering that my vices are my virtues, I am comfortable owning that I am both sinner and saint.  How about you?

“Your desire, the longing in your heart, is the interface between you and that which is greater than you. 

It is your watery soul moving currents of the unimaginable, yet to be revealed, aliveness into the world.”

-Anne Davin

DESIRE

What do I desire? What do you desire?  Often times we know more about what we don’t want than what we do want.

At the most primal level, I want safety, shelter, food, and love.  My survival needs kick in way before I can think about desires.  I was taught not to want too much, not to be greedy. I was told not to expect much either.  It was better to prepare for disappointment than to dream big.

Of course I want to be accepted and admired. I want friendship, travel, and a few creature comforts. I’d welcome a massage and a vacation home on Kauai. And now that I’m going for it, limitless abundance would be great, not just to buy things, but to help out my family and donate to the causes I love.  But I know that these wants of the mind, will never truly fulfill me.

So what do I really, really, really desire? What exactly is my heart and soul yearning for?

I believe Love is something that we all need, want and desire.  The deep kind of love that sees and accepts us as a whole person, even the messy, gritty, imperfect parts.  But, even in love, people aren’t always satisfied because we often focus on the external (what we can get) for fulfillment instead of focusing within (what we can give).  Unless of course you are fully actualized saint, like Mother Teresa, who had a purpose to love unconditionally, to act from love, to be love.  She left ripples of her purpose that impacted many.

LIFE’S PURPOSE

I believe what we all really desire is to know our life’s purpose, the heartbeat of why we are here on this planet, and how we can serve in a way that is all our own. Without a purpose, we are always looking outward for gratification, we are never satisfied, and we aren’t in the watery flow of life.

Our life’s purpose is a drop of inspiration in the ocean that creates waves of change, a drop of kindness in a lake that causes a ripple of compassion, a drop of love in a river that flows downstream touching everything it passes.

CURRENTS OF CHANGE

I desire to reimagine my world where I am my own authority, who no longer is beholden to others’ outdated opinions of how I should act and what I should believe in.  I desire to uncork the limit of my desires.  I want to create a new paradigm of being, so I can step into my life’s purpose and contribute in some way.

My journey of creation and purpose begins with the discovery of myself, what I want beneath the physical and mental levels to my heart level.  It requires self-awareness of my challenges, how I react to them, and how they have impacted me. Then can I reflect on what moves me forward, and what my passions are.  I can reveal my talents, and express a point of view that I alone possess.  From here I can share my story and perhaps inspire healing, self-acceptance, and love to others.

The alchemy of past pains, experiences, passions, and talents melts into the essence of our desires and becomes the single drop necessary for our watery soul to create currents of change for a better world.

What is your desire? What is your life’s purpose? What is your watery soul?

LISTEN TO THE WIND BLOW

I was in a cab heading to the airport, and I made it a point to really listen to the sounds of nature colliding with the hustle and bustle sounds of the city.  I was listening for messages from the Universe, hoping some were specifically for me.

I keep hearing about the Universe having our backs, and the miracles that can happen if we would just listen for the clues that would guide us in manifesting our desires.

Clearly, I am one of those “woo woo” people whose curiosity can’t help but to hear what someone like Abraham Hicks (and every other dimension jumper) has to say about miracles.

I am insecure and skeptical enough to want a miracle to happen to me as proof (asap).  And, I am selfish enough to want my very own spirit guide to fulfill all my desires and get me to epic love, endless time, and oodles of abundance.

So I decided to listen, really listen.

I heard birds chirping, the wind blowing through the cracked open window, and rubber scraping over pavement.  A very soothing voice called out (it was the GPS), telling the driver to exit right onto Highway 101.

I stayed with it.

On the highway, the sounds got more intense, and the wind a heavy whistle.  Like the crescendo of a song?  Added were the whoosh of oncoming traffic and the buzz of cars zooming passed.  Did I hear the rhythm of rotating tires?

A thought popped into my head that “making music is like making love.”  Was this a message from the Universe?   I had to think about that for a second.

Assuming we all listen to music that we actually like, I noted that music gives me joy, music relaxes me, music takes me to intimate places sometimes, music allows me to dance without caring about what others think, music makes me feel sexy.  Sometimes the songs are so vulnerable with raw truth, that it makes me cry.

All the music that I am drawn to brings up emotions that I have experienced in love and love making.

Since I’ve never actually made music, and I remain open to a hunch that my random thoughts could possibly be my very own messages from the Universe, I tried to make the love making and music making comparison work.

Love making is an invitation to deep intimacy.  We have the opportunity to know a person’s heart or heartache, just like music. Love making is a primal urge of pleasure, like music can be for me.  Love making opens you up to a heightened sense of awareness. I'm guessing in order to make music, openness and heightened awareness are needed.  In love making we are communicating soul to soul.  Music does touch my soul.

Maybe making music is like making love, I don’t know for sure.  But a more profound knowledge came to me as I jumbled the idea of making music and love in my head - perhaps messages come to us in ways that are easy for us to receive.  In my case through music.

Music speaks to my soul and my emotions, it moves me in so many ways.  Maybe I should listen to how my soul responds to external signs, or is inspired by certain events, and assume they are messages from my very own guiding light.

When I got to the airport, Stevie Nick’s voice sang over the airwaves, “listen to the wind blow...” and my driver, instead of saying the typical “have a nice flight,” reminded me to “love thy self” before he drove away.   Hmm.

I should really try to make some music, and surround myself with it more often.  But, I'm definitely going to keep listening to the wind blow.

____________________________________________________

Above photograph is me trying to make my own summer music.

and the uniquely exquisite soul found within you.”

– Coltrane Lord

SACRED SOUL

Do you know how sacred your soul is?

SACRED

First let me define what I mean as sacred.  Sacred is protective, powerful, and profound.  It is directly connected to the divine and exists in every living thing.  Sacred is beauty. Sacred is sexy.

Sacred is secret, and secret is sacred. I learned this from Robert Mirabal, a respected Native American tribal leader, two-time Grammy Award winning musician, dancer, and more during my visit to the Taos Pueblo where Robert is from.  He considers his land and lineage sacred to his soul. 

I very much wanted to jump into the powwow, to bridge cultures and create a photographic moment of provocative thought on the sacredness of the naked soul, but I lost my nerve (see powwow images @lordcoltrane). 

For this project on the sacred soul, I had to work with an existing shoot.

SOUL

The soul is also profoundly connected to Universal spirit, yet each of our souls are unique.  Our individual souls have a purpose based on a specific combination of karma, archetypes, ancestry and desire.  We find ease in our life when these energies collide and our soul’s purpose is revealed to us. 

It can also be a curious moment when you think that you are hearing voices in your head.  When I started excavating my various personas, I was surprised by the very distinct messages and opinions they had.  I have learned so much about myself through my many personas that I am determined to take the "disorder" out of Multiple Personality Disorder someday.

SACRED SOUL

Your Sacred Soul, your source of power that has been kept secret within the deepest parts of your being, has something to say.  Your soul, and the many facets of your soul, wants to express itself through you.  It wants to experience, learn, grow and contribute to the greater good.

You may have seemingly competing primordial energies, or personas, competing to be heard or seen.  The key is to let each share their truth and set them free.  Through this type of individuation, you can get to center and wholeness, to You.

Although you may think you are going crazy, I can assure you that you are not.

SOUL PURPOSE

Understanding your soul’s purpose will awaken you to a higher consciousness where peace, joy, and love flow through you and with you.  You end up radiating from within to spread the love and light that you are.

I invite you to take the journey within yourself to meet the sacred energies that have been kept secret.  Set your soul free to express itself, be witnessed, and guide you on your path so that you can live a life filled with beauty and grace.  So that you can find your Sacred You.

I loved my experience creating the ritual and container for the above photo shoot.  It was the first time I had the pleasure of working with this Beauty, and it was her first time to meet a few of her primordial energies.  We used a combination of Active Imagination, Voice Dialogue and Play to find an intensely powerful persona that had been repressed by another.  Our experience was sacred.

Combining the images gives a visual example of what it feels like to start to know who is inside.

Have you let loose your Sacred Soul?

Play with me! join the Haute List for future archetype revealing, photography, and playshops. 

Fiery Beauty @lordcoltrane

"Looks like a girl, but she's a flame
So bright, she can burn your eyes
Better look the other way
You can, try but you'll never forget her name
She's on top of the world
Hottest of the hottest girls say"

- Alicia Keys

When I found the center of my fiery beauty, it made all the difference in the way I moved, inspired, shined, and gave off heat. Now, I can see the source of this passion in others.  I'm obsessed with encouraging your inner fire to shine forth to help light up the world.

This has nothing to do with superficial beauty.  It is a deep energy that is smoldering, full of warmth, intense, and travels like liquid fire.  This energy lives in the belly, and from there it transforms, as all fires do.

Fire is magnetic, pulsing, radiant and passionate.  It is an energy that cannot be ignored.

As the element of fire exists in the natural world as intense and luminous, it also lives within each of us.  This type of beauty (or energy) is unique to the other natural beauties of water, earth, and wind because fire must consume another element to physically exist.  Thus, fire magic and power transforms, destructs, creates and connects.  WHOA.

There are many beauty icons that represent the element of fire; Pele is the intense Hawaiian volcano goddess that created the islands, while the Roman Goddess Vesta is worshipped for her sacred fires of the hearth that bring warmth, nourishment, and home.

Like the sun that nourishes and helps us to release the hormone serotonin to brighten our mood, a fiery beauty can also lift our spirits and warm up a room.  She is illuminating, and radiates a brightness that draws us in.  She is sensual by captivating us with her candlelit slow dance of shadow and light.

Although some women have fire as their main beauty essence, we all have a fire within us. 

At a deep level, the beauty of our inner fire is transformative, but too much fire can burn us out (or burn others!), while too little fire can suffocate or smother our relationships. 

The right amount of fire can fuel our passions, ignite our desires, and set our relationships ablaze in sensual motion.

Are you a natural fiery beauty? Does your fire incinerate your relationships or purpose? Do you need to fan your flames a little bit more? 

Stay tuned for my upcoming Inner Beauty Evaluation to find out more about your individual type of beauty. 

Join the Haute List for tips on how to determine your beauty essence and how to cultivate your inner fire.

"Here I stand, In the Light of Day.  Let the Storm Rage On...The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway."

- Frozen

ARCHETYPES & WHAT THEY TEACH

We have many archetypes that are trying to express themselves through us. Your Mother (or Father) Archetype comes out when you need to nurture a child or pet.  Your Rebel Archetype may have come out when you were a teen, or when you decided that a rule was just a guideline.  Your Queen (or King) archetype might come out whenever you feel superior in a situation.

We all have ways of reacting to varying circumstances or emotions that come up.  I might find it annoying when someone throws a snowball at me, while you might find it playful.  Archetypes are part of our personality, and understanding who lives inside can guide AND help us through tough times.

When you own your archetypes, and are able to recognize the archetypes of your lover (or family and friends), it can offer clues to how to interact in more productive and loving ways.

THE ICE QUEEN.

It’s winter. Let’s explore the Ice Queen and see what she has to offer us. 

I happen to have a powerful Ice Queen in me.  She shows up in my ability to freeze when I feel threatened.  I don’t mean freeze in fear like an innocent doe, I mean my eyes turn into icicles, my heart a glacier, my breath a blizzard of cold, aloof words.  And then I remove myself so that I don’t freeze anyone’s heart.  I'm sort of like Elsa in Frozen.

My Ice Queen has definitely protected me from harsh words, betrayals, and other cruelties that I’ve experienced over a lifetime.  She’s also protected me from a raging tempest within.  I find ice to be safer for me than fire.

But luckily, I know when it’s time to use her productively.

When you own every part of you, the dark and the light, you become the Queen of your inner domain.  Instead of these archetypes taking over, you can then use them to move you forward. 

My Ice Queen is now a powerful force in exquisite composure, especially when there is chaos and turmoil externally.  She uses discernment impeccably. She can freeze a situation in its tracks before anything gets out of hand.  And best yet, she has really great taste.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE AN ICE QUEEN

DARK SIDE

1) You judge/are critical

2) You feel superior in some ways.

3) You like to be alone.

4) You are as cold as ice when you meet people for the first time.

5) You are rigid/control freak.

LIGHT SIDE

1) You have exquisite discernment and taste.

2) You are a leader/people look up to you.

3) You take time for self-care.

4) You allow others to reveal themselves to you.

5) You are composed and know what you want (and often get it).

Are you an Ice Queen?

What you think, you create.

What you FEEL, you ATTRACT.

What you Imagine, you become.

MY KIND OF LOVER.   Some people are looking to find a perfect partner, while others try to mold their partners into this idea of the perfect person they've always wanted. 

It's rare to find a couple who truly has a perfect relationship full of BALANCED love, passion, sex, intellect, abundance, friendship, and variety.  But if you do come across one of these rare specimens, please keep them in your circle. They can teach you about how much you are willing to give (which translates into get) in terms of love!

Many of us have been raised with some degree of dysfunction.  It could be that one parent dominates over the other, or there was a lot of fighting, or there was no talking or passion whatsoever, or there was a divorce (approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce), or plenty of other reasons.  According to many therapists, it's how we were loved that makes all the difference in our loving.  Esther Perel, is quoted as saying, "Tell me how you were loved, and I will tell you how you make love."  This goes for attracting a partner and transforming a relationship too.

We often keep our attention on what our lover, spouse, partner is NOT doing when we want to change something in our relationship.  Singles also tend to focus outward on the qualities they want in a partner, rather than what they can give to a new romance.  What we focus on is often in response to what is needed to heal from childhood impressions.

If you were abandoned, then you might have that same fear of abandonment with a partner and push them away at times, or keep an emotional distance to protect yourself. 

If you were smothered with attention by one of your parents, then possibly no one else is good enough, has done enough, or could ever do the right thing for you. 

If there was too much fighting in your home, possibly you are always on the defensive, need to feel safe, or are too afraid to share your voice.

If there was no talking in your home, maybe you avoid passionate discourse or any type of communication.

Whatever your upbringing, we unconsciously continue with our habits of survival in both our long term relationships and into the mating game.

RARELY do we look inward to focus on our own BEING or BECOMING that exact thing we want in and from our partners.  Yet, that is precisely what we MUST do if we want to make positive changes or attract the perfect person. 

The question always is HOW?

THREE FIRST STEPS TO ATTRACTING THE PERFECT MATE OR TRANSFORMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

1) Start LOOKING WITHIN YOURSELF to know your needs. Do you need safety, abundance, or passion?  Ask yourself why, but don't harbor ill feelings.  Your parents did the best they could!  Then ask yourself how you can feel safer, more abundant, more passionate on your own.  Sometimes it is the very thing we lack, that we demand from our relationships.  This step is truly opening Pandora's Box, but it is worth it!

2) Start FALLING MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF. Treat yourself like you are your lover, or treat yourself like you'd like a lover to treat you.  Fill yourself up with goodness.  Be good to your body,  be good to your mind, be good to your soul.  Know you are absolutely worth loving.  As the Beatles sing, "The love you take, is equal to the love you make."  You will find that someone can only love you as much as you love yourself.  You will also find, that you can only extend love as far as you love yourself. 

Note: I'm talking about Self-Love not narcissism. Self-Love is self-care.  It is filling up with all the things you want to share with another: love, compassion, kindness, sensuality, sexuality, beauty, abundance.  It is giving and receiving energy. Narcissism, on the other hand, is an energy that sucks people dry without any concern for their well being. 

This step is also difficult for most people.  We are not taught to think about ourselves first.

3) Start LEANING IN WITH CURIOSITY to try to understand yourself and your own habits.  Let's stop making judgements and start asking questions.   Then lets LEAN BACK and ARCH into SURRENDER and start learning how to receive everything as a gift, even the stuff we call bullshit. It is this flow of leaning in, and then surrendering open that is missing in our relationships.  Most of us stay stiff in our opinions, our beliefs, our habits without being curious to why we remain stuck in the same patterns.  Get curious to why you might be feeling a certain way, or why you are reacting a certain way. 

Deepak Chopra would ask you to ask yourself, "Who is in this situation right now? Who is having this feeling?" This allows you to step out of your body to watch on an energetic level the patterns you might be stuck in.

You transform your relationship when you first transform yourself.  No therapist or communications specialist can truly make a difference unless you are willing to look within and have the courage to be honest about who you are at the moment, and how you can make a difference for yourself first. 

Only then can we start to discuss the sexy part! Which of course I always love to do! Stay tuned.

"Every emotion can be seen as an expression in nature; beauty, sensuality, abundance, and the sexy curve of a delicate nectarine. 

You too are beauty, sensuality, abundance, and sexy in your curves.  Own it."

-Lord Coltrane

To me, the recent events surrounding the latest comments by Donald Trump highlight the dying breed of men who cling on to misogynistic ways.

It also reminds me why it's so important to stand for every expression of the feminine, including beauty and sex appeal, which he has managed to cheapen in his recorded comments about women.  I call this expression of the feminine, your Inner Bombshell.

I'm positive there are many professional athletes out there who are also offended by the degradation of Mr. Trumps "locker room talk" as not only degrading to women, but equally degrading to the dedication, physical power, and intensity that their profession demands. 

I bet Alpha Athletes who spend a lot of time in real locker rooms have never spoken about the mothers, daughters, or women in their lives in such a demeaning way.  Instead, the Alpha Athlete, and even the true Alpha Male, will use the locker room to talk strategy, motivate each other, support each other, or simply change into street clothes.

I'm sorry Mr. Trump, to say hurtful things about women (without apology!) and claim it to be "just locker room chatter," is so prehistoric.  You are ruining it for so many of the amazing men who would never stoop so low. 

Subconsciously, Mr. Trump probably understands that chauvinists are on the brink of extinction, and that's why he is grasping for all sorts of manic ways to stay relevant.

We need forward thinkers and right action humans to lead us.  We also need women to be proud of every part of their beings.

This brings me to WHY women, more than ever, should own their sensual sides and the beauty that radiates from within.  It is because this is where that dying breed of sexist men prefers to attack. 

We can take back our sensual power and the understanding that it is the source that gestates life, gives birth, and equally enjoys sex by honoring our Inner Bombshell and the Bombshell in every woman. 

No more shaming.

Let's NOT allow Mr. Trump to "grab us by the pussy," but instead let's allow ourselves to know and put forth her intricate Bombshell powers. 

My two cents as a mother, daughter, wife, creative business woman, voter.

Ram Dass

Sacred Safari ChicAbu Camp, Okavango Delta, Botswana. © 2016 Lord Coltrane. All rights reserved.

Abu Camp, Okavango Delta, Botswana. © 2016 Lord Coltrane, LLC. All rights reserved.

Did you know that when an elephant makes an appearance in our lives, we are destined to dive deeper into our sacred feminine? 

The meaning of goddess is equivalent to the symbolism of this wise and gentle creature.  Matriarchs lead a parade of elephants.  She travels with her sisters, bonding with her family, both blood and adopted.

Elephants are loyal, compassionate, powerful and loving.  They are metaphors for strength, potential, good fortune, and conquering new tasks.

Elephants are aligned with our root (muladhara) chakra that sits at the base of our spine.  This is the center of belonging, safety, and grounding.   That must be why I felt so protected walking with the elephants in Africa. That must be why I fell in love with them.  My awareness and senses have come alive, my sensuality expanded.

I believe that the elephant represents earth elements. In Ayurvedic terms it is called Kapha.  Those who possess the qualities of Kapha, have the same impressive traits as the elephant.

In Hindu Philosophy, when Ganesh, depicted as the elephant, sits with Lakshmi, the goddess of beauty, love and good fortune, they represent the "opening of the way." 

This is inner wisdom that guides you to a higher vibrational state of being, where every desire is fulfilled with ease and grace. 

Why do you want to understand your sacred feminine? And why does it matter?

It is all about fulfilling your destiny, stepping into your potential, and experiencing the life you dream of.  It is about the essential energy of love and happiness. 

Without knowing your sacred feminine, you are only experiencing a part of your soul.  A separated soul is like a piece of Lord Voldemort’s hidden away in a horcrux.  That didn't end well for him.

Have you dreamt of elephants? Have you had a passion for elephants all your life? Have you walked with them? Do they make you cry?

If so, you are called to understand your feminine powers, and from here the magic begins.  This is what I call Sacred Safari Chic.

All of us must walk our walk and talk our talk with intention.  Every action has a corresponding reaction, and women have the secret ingredient to change all that is wrong in our world.   So let us begin now.

How will you start stepping out in the world?  What footprint will you leave behind?

Vumbura Plains, Okavango Delta, Botswana. © 2016 Lord Coltrane, LLC. All rights reserved.

Haute Tip:

Always be ready for your boudoir moment. You are always ready.  You never know when you will come across some willing elephant handlers who agree to have you pose with the elephants they are reintroducing into the wild.  Be bold. Be creative. Be you.

Abu Camp, Okavango Delta, Botswana. © 2016 Lord Coltrane, LLC. All rights reserved.

I am obsessed with snakes. I like the way they travel, low to the ground, undulating in waves of movement.  I find their scale patterns and colors  beautiful.  The long, forked tongue is a sensory agent helping to determine where to go, what to eat, and where to rest. 

Snakes are not slimy. 

They are dry and hard, and if you have ever had the pleasure of a snake on your body, the feeling is both grounding and sensual, with a little hint of danger.  Every time I work with snakes in a workshop or during a photography session, I have an erotic dream of some sort.  Owen, my reptile handler, says most adults experience the same thing.

Since the dawn of (biblical) time, the serpent was portrayed as the devil cast down to live on his belly for eternity. He tempted Eve to taste the forbidden fruit.  Thus, the fall of mankind, and the awakening of shame.

SHAME

Shame is a lofty topic that we can end up dissecting for ages. Best selling author and professor, Brené Brown, has made it her main topic of research.  In energetic terms, shame has the lowest vibration of any other emotion.  When people are riddled with shame, they can be withdrawn, needy, despondent, depressed, or rebellious, aggressive, disgusted by others. In extreme cases, they can be suicidal.

Some of us can also be highly functional keepers and bestowers of shame.  My own upbringing provided me with ample experiences of shame at such a young age, that I didn't even know I was living with it still.  But I am, and possibly you are too.

Shame shows up in the way we see ourselves.  Are we pretty or sexy enough to attract and keep a lover? Smart enough to get that promotion? Worthy enough for abundance, deep friendships, or unconditional love? 

How many times has a similar thought crept into your mind and held you back?  How many times have you judged someone else in order to hide your own shame based insecurities?

I recently noticed a lifelong habit of holding my breath due to unprocessed shameful experiences.  Breath holding served me once when I was young.  I could move around unnoticed and safe.  When I hold my breath now, I tense up my muscular structure (subconsciously to avoid pain, but also avoiding pleasure). And when I tense up my body, I only let in a limited amount of feeling. And when I only let a small amount of feeling flow through me, I limit my capacity to love and be loved. Heavy stuff, but it explains so much.

Our reptilian, or primal, brains (the amygdala) is linked to fear and pleasure.  It has not yet caught up with the advancements of our time.  It still works on our behalf as the fight or flight stress response, except we aren't running away from saber-toothed tigers.

When we have traumatic experiences as young children, our bodies and minds can react to more subtle stimuli that makes us feel unsafe in the same way.  It doesn't matter if you were excluded, ridiculed, abused, surrounded by rage, or worse.  As an adult, even the slightest criticism can spark those pain protectors to start firing.  If your brain is constantly in the fight, flight or frozen mode, it is not in its pleasure mode.

I've been studying the body, the mind, the soul, and the integration process of becoming "whole" with many amazing teachers.  I find integrating and aligning the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the energetic creates vitality, purpose, healing and self-love.

SNAKE CHARM: How to change your fear response to pleasure.

Let's get back to the snake.  When I have a snake on my body, I let go of my many inhibitions.  I feel its scaly skin on my smooth skin. I allow myself to breath into the rhythm of the snake's movement.  I allow a stirring of vibration to occur deep from within my body.  I don't care what anyone else is saying or doing because I have a big python on my body!  And it feels spiritual.

I don't recommend picking up a snake in the backyard, and letting it slither all over your body. But I do believe that we must change our body responses from fear to pleasure in order for our system to create a new response and new experience in the body.

You can do this by facing your fears with curiosity. When I last worked with snakes, all the women in my workshop feared them in some way.  Yet they all surrendered to my kundalini exercise as I placed a slithering snake into their palms. 

It was beautiful to watch as they settled into their bodies and moved with the rhythm of the snake.  We noticed how the snake used the least amount of effort in movement. We were told how the snake waits for things/desires/meals to come to it.  The bible calls this lazy, I call it efficiency with grace.  Some of the women, who have never been naked in front of other women or a camera, were bold enough to be photographed with a python on their naked bodies.  It was an amazing first experience where they faced a fear and felt a pleasure.

KUNDALINI

Clearly I prefer the representation of the serpent in eastern philosophy as kundalini (or vital energy); the awakening of our inner power.  It is said that the stirring of our "coiled snake," which sits at the base of our spine, finally awakens with the merging of our feminine and masculine energies. 

In modern society, most women have been taught to suppress their feminine energy, which is fluid, nurturing, emotional, intuitive, sensual, and compassionate in nature when they are outside the home.  Often we reserve only some of these talents for our young children.  Most men have never been taught how to express their feminine sides, I don't believe the general population could imagine what that might look like.   Is this done because we have been shamed by it in some way?

The merging of the feminine/masculine energies, plus the alignment of mind, body, spirit (or emotions, muscles, energy) creates a being that is truly at ease in the world, who has the power to manifest all that is desired, and more importantly, knows how to use the power for the highest good.  They embody sexuality and sensuality, they both create and experience, they are givers and takers, they lead and follow, they hold space and move graciously through space, they live at their highest potential.

OUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL

Let's learn from the snake to continue to grow into the best versions of us.  Each time the snake grows, molting occurs.  Molting is the process of releasing the skin that doesn't fit anymore.  As we grow as individuals, this teaches us to remove layers of conditioning, attitudes, prejudices, pain that no longer serve us, or our potential.  If the snake did not molt, it would literally be stuck in skin too small for its body. 

Molting leaves us vulnerable.  Our skin is brand new at this point, and we must honor that change and growth can leave us raw until our new skin catches up to us.  This process is ongoing, which is something I still have a hard time with (I would like to expand to 100% of my potential already, but that is not how nature works).   

You've heard it many times before, "life is a process."

Love. Joy. Beauty. Bliss. Pleasure. It's all a choice, and it's all about how we see things.

Let's practice seeing love, beauty, and pleasure in only positive ways.  Let's SEE everything with a sensual lens and feel what comes up for us.

A smile and a wink is now a flirtatious gift from one radiant person to another.  Confidence is now self-love. A woman expressing her pleasure is now spiritual joy bubbling up from the depths of her soul.  Sex in a monogamous relationship is the expression of deep love between two people.  Being sexy for your partner is a message of privilege that you TRUST them enough to be vulnerable and open.

Play a sexy game and try to find sexy shapes and images in almost everything you encounter.  Then share your personal beauty and sensuality with your partner, showing them how your body parts are natural shapes of love.  Have fun!

More on this topic later...I have a lover to love today.

A woman's beauty comes from an energetic pulse from deep within her soul.  In Ayurveda, this radiant energy is called Ojas, meaning vigor.  It is the subtle and pure essence that is life force.  There is not one translucent foundation, mineral powder, or lightening creme that will give you the same glow as the vital nectar of your spirit just waiting to be awakened and stirred.  This energy is dying to play within your body to guide you towards divine delights and human pleasures.  She wants to embody your whole being so she can manifest physically to help you inspire others to shine their light too.

We each have unique and powerful energies within us that can be categorized as Light, Love, and Life.  These have to do with the 5 Great Elements of Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth.  We can translate these forces into Beauty Energy, Sensual Energy, and Erotic Energy all with the foundation of Love Energy.

BEAUTY ENERGY:

This is radiance that comes from Life Force.  It is the manifestation of the way you feed, view, and care for your physical body.  The energy is in the growing and lively foods you eat, coupled with how you move your body, and the intention in which you express or share your physical body with others.  This might be the easiest energy to tap into because we have the tools like wholesome foods that nourish our insides; laughter and friendship; plus classes that guide our bodies in flexibility, movement, and strength.  Of course there are other subtle tools in the awakening of beauty energy, but many we already know about.

SENSUAL ENERGY:

This is the interaction of our subtle senses and universal vital forces surrounding us.  It is being present to Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth energies within us, in others, and in all nature. When we awaken our sensual energy, we feel more deeply to love more deeply.  We get a stirring in all parts of our physical bodies, as well as in our chakra centers (wheels of energy).  This is the energy of desire.  It is the place where we can dream, create, and move with ease and flow in your daily lives.

EROTIC ENERGY:

This is a deep and powerful energy that plays with our duality.  Here we tap into the potentials of both the dark and light. We learn to command and surrender.  We are comfortable with control and vulnerability.  We fully understand the esoteric meaning of life and death.  With this energy we transcend our Karma, and are able to step into soul purpose.  We tap into universal powers so we can understand ourselves in a complete, deeper, more holistic way.  Erotic Energy is a magnetic force of nature, it allows us to make shit happen.

For now, lets focus on BEAUTY and how we can start to shift into our lightness of being, cultivate ourselves as beautiful guiding lights that inspires others, and honor ourselves enough to be radiant.  Stay tuned for HOW we tap into all these energies and learn about the various archetypes and goddess energies we can call upon to help us awaken to the powers within.

Your thoughts are welcome!

2016 is about TRANSFORMATION.  We are called to rise to a higher frequency and standard of living, loving and being.

Sometimes, transformation requires us to experience "rupture" or "breaking into pieces." Other times it shows up as "road blocks" that make us tumble, or "stupid mistakes" that frustrate us into paying attention. 

If you have ever endured a "falling apart" and tried to put yourself together again, it may feel like your pieces don't quite fit right anymore. They don't.

I believe when we "crack open," "feel broken," or "fall to pieces," it is an energetic invitation to EXPAND into a different phase of being - a better version of your true self.  THIS IS CHANGE, a law of nature that promises to continue for all of us until the end of time.  Let's embrace it.

Like the butterfly, we often need the resistance to push us, to make us work, and to challenge us to set ourselves free.  When our wings have had enough training, they are bold, strong, and empowered to spread and take flight.  Only then can we share our beauty and inspire others.

IT IS NOW TIME TO FLY.  Instead of seeing our challenges as energy that tears us apart, we can look at it another way.  We are simply dissolving energetic baggage that no longer serves us, and alchemizing that same energy to expand our being to create room for all that is good and will take us higher.   Sometimes this process hurts, but our pain becomes our power.

Some of you have not had to endure bitter disappointments, but still may feel that uncomfortable pressure of BURSTING.  This is a DESIRE FOR FULFILLMENT, a need to creatively express your individual truth, a yearning to contribute in a way that satisfies your soul's purpose.  This is WHOLE AND VIBRANT LIVING.  Some of you may feel guilty for wanting more, but it is your deep aspirations for continued growth and your innate feminine power that demands the highest of you. 

If you are reading this, you have been blessed with the DIVINE MISSION to be an inspiration for others.  Your breakthroughs and growths are mirrors for others.  I encourage you to embrace the difficulties and transform them into purpose.  I encourage you to dig deep and find your soul's desires.  I encourage you to own your true, beautiful nature.  I encourage you to experience all aspects of your feminine energy (both dark and light), and the radiant powers of her beauty, sensuality, eroticism, and universal spirit.  I encourage you to take action and be the woman you were meant to be.

The caterpillar knows that deep inside she is a miraculous butterfly in transition.  She accepts each stage with grace, including the darkest, most difficult moments in her chrysalis.  It is in her KNOWING  WHO SHE REALLY IS, that allows her to withstand the struggle to break free.  She then spreads her gorgeous wings, takes flight, and leaves us in breathless awe.

Happy New Year Beautiful Butterflies.  I look forward to your metamorphosis.

"I love the taste of your...."

One of the many things I learned at The Chopra Center during an Ayurvedic training, was how to heighten my subtle sense of taste.  I learned to anticipate the taste and texture of food before it even touched my lips. I focused on how my mouth watered in different areas of my tongue depending on what I was eating.  By the time I actually took a bite, the strawberry or piece chocolate in hand tasted much better and more divine than it would have if I unconsciously ate it.

My anticipation actually caused a stirring in other parts of my body too...yum!

As a boudior photographer and couture designer, I am always looking for how this relates to beauty, sensuality, and body language.  I found that sensual eating allows me to relax in my body more, keeps me in fluid motion, and heightens the nerve endings all over my skin - sexy!

EATING IS EROTIC

Eating can be such an erotic and pleasurable experience. It is such a shame most of us have issues with eating.  We don't take the time to make each bite a delicious aphrodisiac. Instead, we skimp, skip, overdo or feel guilty while we eat. 

Since our emotions are such a big part of how our bodies hold on to or lose weight, I believe we should always consider eating a sensual and gratifying act.  If we learn how to honor our food, enjoy every bite, feel exquisite as we eat, and love our bodies to nourish it, then I believe our bodies respond in healthy and luscious ways.

I've been practicing the Art of Sensual Eating for a while now.  What I've experienced is that slow, sensual and present moment eating makes me feel full and satiated. I have slowed way down as I attempt to savor each expression of every bite.  I chew my food thoroughly. I feel the nourishment slide past my tongue, down my throat, and make its way through the labyrinth into my waiting belly.  Sometimes when I'm alone, I will treat my food like a lover, especially dessert, whispering sweet nothings, taking a lick or two before I bite, closing my eyes and even caressing my skin with each morsel. My breathing gets heavier and my body trembles (in a good way).  How great would it be to eat like this with a lover!

I do this exercise in one of my workshops, and it is always a joy to watch women eat with such sexiness.

EROTIC EATING TIPS

1. Honor and thank your body for its current health and reflection (without judgment) before each meal.
2. Honor and thank the food on your plate before you begin eating. It can be silent, out loud, in blessing form, or as a seduction.
3. Dress up like you are on a date for the occasion.
4. Look at the food on your plate as if it was the most gorgeous piece of art or sexy person you have ever seen. 
5. Focus on one of the morsels on your plate and start thinking about what it would feel like in your mouth, how it will taste when you first bite into it.  Play with your food! Taunt it, caress it, flirt with it, see how it wiggles or jiggles on your fork.
6. As you finally take a bite, savor each and every flavor, enjoy the juice that springs from it, feel it caress the insides of your body. Do this with your eyes closed.
7. Breath, breath, breath.
8. If you are with a playful intimate partner, tempt your partner with words...I love the taste of your...continue the conversation by how you take a bite, lick, or swallow!

You will enjoy your meals so much more, with the added bonus of entertaining those around you...they'll have what you're having please...that's for sure! 

This Thanksgiving try to have your meal in the most sensual way possible. Report back if you experienced a food coma or food eroticism. Make a date with a lover to have an erotic meal together...and use that as foreplay, or do this with friends and see who you attract.  The picture below is what it feels like after an erotic meal...try it!

Indulge...Life is sweet after all.

Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower and draws all good things towards you.

- Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

© Lord Coltrane, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Images not for reprinting or reusing.

SCENTS & SENSUALITY:

Our senses are a gift of nature, they are how we perceive the world around us to create an individual picture of our own reality.  Let's learn how to use our sense of smell to create pleasure filled experiences - our new reality.

Aromas are closely tied to our memories, emotions and instincts.  They can trigger our inner healing powers.  It is the science of Neuro-Associative Conditioning, which can be described as the process of change in humans, for better or for worse, depending on one's association with an aroma to their experience with pleasure or pain.

For example, the scent of roses might induce the feeling of love, spicy cologne the memory of a lover, while the smell of cookies in the oven might bring you back to childhood and your mouth might instinctively water.

On the other hand, the aroma of tequila might make you nauseous because you once had too many shots, or the smell of "Love's Baby Soft" might conjure images of the "mean girls" in grade school.

We can use our sense of smell to create calming, happy, relaxing and energetic experiences within our bodies.  We can also learn to tap into our sensuality and passions by inhaling our favorite scents each time we experience pleasure.

USING AROMAS TO INVOKE STATES OF PLEASURE & BLISS:

• Identify a few of your favorite scents that take you out of your mind and into your body.  I enjoy the essence of vanilla, coconut and sweet almond.  Carry the scent in a small container that you can take anywhere.
• Each time you find yourself in pleasure or completely relaxed (like slow dancing, self massage, or in a warm bath) take a sniff of your scent.
• A few drops of your essential scent in carrier oil will be delicious during a sensual massage with your partner, or while self pleasuring.  Similar scented candles during lovemaking will also help to induce waves of pleasure in your body.
• Try sleeping naked on rose petals and experience how restful and blissful you feel in the morning.
• Before long, your body will associate physical and emotional pleasure each time you use the aroma. Soon, just the smell can heighten your well-being.

"Pleasure is the flower that passes; Remembrance, the lasting perfume."

- Jean de Boufflers

© Lord Coltrane, LLC. All rights reserved. Images are not for reprinting or reuse.

SCENT OF THE DIVINE:

Nature is full of scents, and each time we take a breath, we are in unity with our environment and the divine.  Practice being fully aware of what nature has to offer you; the smell of the ocean or the morning dew, fragrant flowers and herbs, the smell of your lovers skin, or the scent of a newborn baby.  All of these aromas connect us intimately with the Universe and provide us with pleasure, they are the scents of the divine. 

We can learn to use our sense of smell to enhance our perception and awaken any dormant potential within us by creating a desireable reality of our choosing.  Learn to cultivate your subtle sense of smell by recalling the scent of a rose before you actually put your nose to the petals, or recall your favorite sensual scent before experiencing it on your body.  By doing this, you are heightening your senses, your spirit, and your sacred sensuality.

© Lord Coltrane, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

"Your Love's Got Me Looking So Crazy Right Now..."

-Crazy in Love, Beyoncé

The Sixth Sensation: Fantasy & Instinct

In honor of Valentine's Day and the opening of 50 Shades of Grey, let's explore our sixth sense and learn how using it can lead us to being so crazy in love.  Using our sixth sensual sense; imagination, fantasy, instinct can heighten our sensuality and deepen our relationships.

First of all, fantasy is a normal and healthy part of all of our lives.  Children adore fantasy stories because it helps them with concepts of good and evil, right and wrong.  They use their imagination to play in worlds unknown to them. They create every moment as they please, and use their instincts to stop at discomfort.  Adults respond the same way, identifying with various Archetypes that give us a glimpse of our own personalities.

Let's stop pretending that we don't like a little sexual fantasy now and then too. The book, and now movie, 50 Shades of Grey would not have sold millions if we weren't so interested or a little bit curious. 

When in comes to our intimate relationships, fantasy introduces variety.  Our brains stop obsessing for a moment about what our bodies look like, or if what we are doing is "right."  Instead, we focus on what we secretly covet and desire to be played out. We might try on an alter ego or ask our partners to try one on.  We use our instincts to understand how far we'd like to push our edges. 

In our attempt to awaken all of our senses; touch, taste, smell, hear, see, we must also exercise our sense of fantasy to be exceptional lovers.

Exceptional Lover

Exceptional lovers understand how to fully give with pleasure, and how to fully receive with pleasure.  They are 100% present and aware.  They allow their partners to feel safe enough to surrender, to enjoy, and to play.  They spice things up with a little variety.

This Valentine's Day, give yourself the gift of being the lover you've always wanted to be.  This means stretching your boundaries and exploring the secret fantasies you have.  A huge population of women have already proven to be curious about a little kink based on the popularity of trashy novels (50 Shades grossed 1.5 BILLION dollars in sales in 2010!), and pole dancing is practically the new Hip Hop (a pole goes up in a studio every twelve hours somewhere in the world according to United Pole Artists USA).  So why not turn on your inner stripper for the evening and give your partner (or yourself) a little tease?

The Strip Tease

The A-B-C's of Strip Tease is easy as 1-2-3.

1. Wear a button down shirt or a t-shirt that you can easily pull over your head.  Under this top, wear your favorite lingerie piece, thigh high stockings, and some killer heels.  Don't complicate things too much with a clothes that are too difficult to take off.  Layers are fun, but if you are first timer, I'd stick to the button down and keep it easy.  A little surprise is always fun!
2. Find S L O W music that you love moving to.  Start off against the wall and S L O W  W A Y  D O W N as you move your body in any way that feels really good to you.  Touching your skin and your hair (again S L O W L Y!) gets you into your body and out of your head.  And remember ass out always!
3. When it feels right, start unbuttoning your shirt taking off layer after layer of clothing (as far as you choose).  The key is to move SO  S L O W, making eye contact (if you are doing this with someone) as each piece falls to the floor.  You can be a playful vixen or a lusty lover, you choose!

© Lord Coltrane

When you enjoy every moment of your strip tease, your lover will also.  Your lover will be so crazy in love and honored by the exquisite unveiling of the most precious gift that is you.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Uh Oh....No, No, No.

"Touch comes before sight, before speech.  It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."

-Margaret Atwood, Der blinde Mörder

© Lord Coltrane

The Seduction of the Senses

Most of us are moving so fast these days that we have forgotten how to be fully present and grateful for each moment.  We have forgotten how to use our natural gifts of the senses to feel, smell, taste, hear, see the abundant beauty that already surrounding us.  Ancient Tantra teaches us about the relationship between our senses and how we relate to the physical world. It also teaches us that through our senses, we connect with others. 

A natural state of bliss is when your energy is luminous, you feel and see things with much more clarity, and the people around you just want to soak in your essence. It often occurs with the combination of dropping into our body (and out of the mind), being fully present with all our senses alive, and experiencing a higher state of being.

The reasons we might feel closed off from our relationships, or find ourselves really stuck, is we haven't yet recognized how little we have opened up to our senses.

I believe that we flow better in our relationships and activities, only if our senses are awakened and receptive to our surroundings.  When we open up to our sensuality (the merging of our emotions with our senses), we are able to step up into a higher state of being so that we not only feel good, we inspire others to feel good too.

Touch

Our skin is the largest organ of our body.  It is the visible bridge between our external environment and our inner sensations.  Our skin is how we understand and stay connected to the world.

There have been plenty of studies on how important touch is to the survival of premature babies.  Our skin is created from the same embryonic layer as the brain and central nervous system.  When our skin is stroked, we lower Cortisol (stress hormone) and increases Oxytocin (hormones that offer a sense of belonging).  Babies learn how to trust and love through our touch. 

If we are in the practice of putting up walls that shut down our sensation of touch, how can we receive loving messages, or send loving energy to another?

How to Awaken Your Sense of Touch to Heighten Your Sensuality

SELF TOUCH

• Massage your entire body lovingly everyday with natural body oils: The Vedic practice of massaging with the right type of oils for your Dosha has been in place for centuries.  To generalize, Vata's have qualities relating to Air and Ether: they are often cold, light, dry, quick, moving and highly communicative. They can use warming oils like Sesame and Almond.  Pitta's have qualities of Fire: they are intense, hot, passionate, penetrating, acidic.  They can use cooling oils like Coconut or Olive oil.  Kapha's have qualities of Earth: they are steady, soft, gradual, easy going, solid.  The lightness of Safflower or Sunflower oils work great for Kapha's. 

• Heighten your skin's senses by caressing it daily with a variety of textures.  Try stroking yourself with a rose, a feather, or different types of fabrics like fur, silk and leather.  I like making a practice out of dancing with these fabrics as I listen to sensual music.

• Hot and Cold Sensations. After taking a warm shower, end it with a cold splash, this will thoroughly invigorate you.

• Pet a soft furry animal.

• Self Pleasure.  Don't be afraid to enjoy a little self pleasuring for no reason at all.  You'd be surprised how better you interact with others when you magnify your sexual energy.  Try a vibrator, or try the doorbell technique where you press down on your clitoris with the same rhythm, but vary the pressure. You don't need to take yourself to a climactic state, you just want to fill up with that stimulating energy.

PARTNER TOUCH

• Give and receive a grounding touch with your partner that leads into a sensual massage. Make sure you use your entire hand, not just your fingers as you stroke the skin of your partner. Use oils appropriate for their Dosha.

• Hot and Cold for Two.  Use a blind fold as you play with hot and cold sensations with your partner.  Try ice cubes alternating it with heated massage wax. 

• Play with your food.  I know we were taught to not play with our food, but sometimes we have to add a little spice to our romantic encounters.  Do try spreading chocolate or other flavors on your partners body and licking it off, it feels really good to both of you, and you get a taste sensation too.  Take turns!

• Foreplay.  Stimulate each others' sexual organs just a tad bit before you head out.  Savor the energy you've created for each other.

Just like any muscle, you need to exercise it before it begins to work for you.  Try focusing on touch this week and enjoy all the pleasures it brings.

"If you change the way you tell your own story, you can change the colour and create a life in technicolor."

- Isabel Allende

© Lord Coltrane 2015, Custom Gown, Fairmont Hotel Penthouse

WHAT IS YOUR STORY?

Everyone has a story they tell, and It either pulls us forward, or holds us back.  But it's really how we interpret our life circumstances that can change the meaning of our life stories.

An interesting experiment conducted at Yale University by John Bargh, had subjects handed a cup of cold coffee or warm coffee as they read a description of some individual.  The results came back with the subjects holding the cold cup of coffee rating the individual as having a cold personality, while those holding the warm cup of coffee rated the individual as having a warmer personality.  All other attributes remained the same.

Our emotional and physical state has a lot to do with how we interpret situations, so WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR STATE TO SEE OUR SITUATIONS AND EXPERIENCES WITH A TECHNICOLOR LENS.

© Lord Coltrane 2015, Lord Coltrane Custom Gown, Fairmont Hotel Penthouse

NAME WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK

Before you can rewrite your story into a juicy legend, you must first identify or name the emotional bonds that keep you from fully enjoying your life.  Christiane Northrup, MD, writes in her book, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, "Once an experience is consciously named and internalized, physically and emotionally, it can no longer influence us unconsciously."  Giving experiences with guilt, shame, or victimhood a name is one of the first steps to changing our stories.

Maybe you feel tied down by a high paying job that you hate. Maybe it scares you more to be alone than in an unhealthy relationship. Maybe you give everything to your family, leaving you feeling depleted and exhausted.

Finding the underlying emotions to these blocks is key to breaking free.  What basic human needs are you fulfilling by remaining in situations that ultimately hurt you? Security? Control?  Look at your childhood experiences and find themes that continue in your life today.

© Lord Coltrane 2015

BREAKING FREE FROM THE TIES THAT BIND YOU

It is not enough to just remember painful experiences, we must FEEL and honor them. "Many times healing cannot begin until we allow ourselves to feel how bad things are (or were in the past).  Doing this frees emotional and physical energy that has been stuffed, stuck, denied, or ignored for many years," writes Dr. Northrup.

Dance with your RAGE, cry your heart out, let go of anger, curl up in a ball and protect yourself from all the pain.  Indulge in what is necessary, without judgement, to set your emotions free.

© Lord Coltrane 2015

OWNING YOUR OWN STORY.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."

-Orson Wells

Now that you've honored your past, it is time to rewrite your juicy legend.  Simply understanding that you are the writer of your own story, gives you the power to turn your past into something worth sharing.  What if you were born into poverty, then worked as a child prostitute, had a child at 14, fell for a high ranking man who leaves you, them worked for a spy in another land?  That would be pretty tough and dangerous.  You could stop the story there and keep looking at the circumstances that keep pushing you down. 

But what if your story doesn't end there? It keeps going, and you eventually become an Empress.  This is the true story of Empress Theodora, once slave, whore, then Empress of Constantinople.

You can create a hunger and a passion that gives more meaning to the rest of your life.  No matter what your story is, you can rewrite it by changing the meaning of your past, and start taking action to create the future you desire.

I can't wait to hear your stories.

"I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. 

I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty." - Pablo Neruda

© Lord Coltrane

IN LUST THERE IS FREEDOM

I am honored to be a part of Bernadette Pleasant's Emotion in Motion Blog Tour with a series of like-minded, and equally passionate, women bloggers who enjoy diving into the complicated, yet glorious truths about the feminine.  Our assignment was to write about a given emotion. I was given the choice to write about LUST, or what it means to feel FREE.  I happen to believe that in lust, there is freedom.  So, of course I choose both.

LUSTY LOVER

Lust and love are two different things.  You can love your children, your Jimmy Choos, or your pets.  You can lust after the cabana boy, the hunky movie star, or a 4-carat diamond ring.  Love is often about the giving, while lust is often about the wanting.  But in romance, we need to experience both love and lust in order for our relationships to thrive.

I love lust.  Lust is hunger that keeps our romances fresh.  Lust is drive that sustains our romantic love.  Lust is the sensory pleasure we get from erotic anticipation.  It sets free the emotions of ecstacy, rapture, euphoria, ravishment, and delight.  These feelings are life enhancing, as they release chemicals in our brain like dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline that fuel our sex drive, and give us that natural emotional high.

Being lusty in love is hard for many women.  We think we need to choose between the saint and the sinner, the mother and the whore, or naughty and nice.  Maybe it's time to take a stand and be both.  We need both to set us free.

LUSTY FREEDOM

“Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensable as poetry.” Anais Nin

© Lord Coltrane

What is freedom anyway?  Freedom to me, is about being your authentic self without shame or judgement.  Freedom is being a whole woman without the rules that keep us from expressing our true nature.  In our society, it is often our eroticism, our sexuality, and our lust that is kept in check.  Worldwide, woman are more objects that equals, so it is extremely confusing when our sensual desires demand a strong presence in our lives.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom" - Anais Nin

To deny your natural erotic being is to imprison yourself in a fortress of hunger without tasting, of drive without a goal, of lust without love.  Our sacred/sexual selves need to be nourished so that we can feel the depths and heights of love, so that we can be fully alive.  Expressing our inner and outer emotions through motion can be a key to our freedom. 

HOW TO MOVE WITH LUST TO FEEL FREE

1) Move Your Body to Sensual Music: Move with the intent to find where eroticism or lust lives in your body.  As you move your body to your chosen song, focus your mind and your breath on your idea of lust. Gently touch that body part, and with your breath give it a kiss from the inside.  Continue to move with deep expression surrounding that body part.  There is no right or wrong answer.  For me, lust lives on the right side of my neck.

2) Deep Breathing with Erotic Fantasies:  Wherever you are, simply close your eyes and start to breath from the top of your head to the base of your feet. First focus on the top of your head with an image of your lover or a fantasy lover.  As you begin to move the breath down in a circular motion to your mouth, neck, chest, etc., allow your imagination to flourish into a full erotic scenario.  By the time you get to your feet, you can plug the energy all the way down into the earth and back up through your body.  This breathing technique simulates the flow of Kundalini energy.

3) Surrender to Self-Pleasure Often: As much as you can, you should understand what your erotic body enjoys.  Explore a self-pleasure technique everyday.  Don't get caught up in the goal of having an orgasm, simply enjoy what feels good to you.  You might find that baths give you erotic pleasure, try out a new sex toy, read some erotica and notice when you get wet with arousal, oils are amazing.  Give yourself permission to explore what fills you up with pleasure each day.  If you do climax each time, enjoy that too!

4) Sign up for Bernadette Pleasant's Emotion in Motion Workshop on January 4th here to really master how to move emotions through your body!  I have witnessed first-hand Bernadette's radiance, guidance and power.  She is authentic in her teaching, and transformative in her dance.  Her workshop on Emotion in Motion can truly set you free.

Bernadette Pleasant, the creator of Emotion in Motion has developed a safe and sacred day-long journey that engages the mind, body and soul. Weaving together the use of music, percussions, meditation, and hands-on healing, her January 4th workshop will create an impactful, life-changing experience for each participant! You can purchase tickets here or participate in her latest giveaway.

"Gonna find out who's Naughty and Nice..."

© Lord Coltrane "Holiday Fun" Silk Bustier Dress with Organza Skirt

Remember back to when you were a free spirited younger version of yourself,  just on the verge of understanding how powerful your feminine could be. 

You may have been toying with a boy, or encouraged to play at the edge of danger and fun.  I remember playing in the rain and deciding to get naked so I could feel the wet drops on my skin. I kept an eye on the windows hoping no one would catch me.

Somehow we've forgotten how delicious it is to be an innocent provocateur.  We've forgotten the sweet "push and pull" feeling that gives us an electrifying charge, also known as variety. 

"Naughty" has a little bit of a playful rebel quality to her.  She pushes you towards the daring and darker side of your sensual spectrum. She might take you to where your sexual fantasies live, or where you explore an erotic edge in the way you move or dress.

"Nice" pulls you towards the other side of the spectrum of light and bright.  She could be felt with the memory of a loving embrace, a romance, or an uplifting song.  She makes you smile.

But somewhere teeter tottering at the edge, is Naughty & Nice.  It's a playground full of sexy and stimulating friction.  Let's go there!

© Lord Coltrane

SIMPLE NAUGHTY & NICE TIPS (NOT JUST DURING THE HOLIDAYS):

1) Try going panty free one day a week.  Imagine how much energy you would possess giving a presentation in a smart blazer and pencil skirt with no panties on - super sexy!

2) Before you meet the parents (or go to an obligatory gathering), give your lover (or yourself) a sexy dance before you ring the doorbell.  Remember to keep a good list of songs on your smart phone for this very occasion.  Extra credit for a quickie in the bathroom at some point during your stay!

3) Make a romantic dinner together or alone.  Make sure there are candles, flowers and soft music.  Get ready as you would go out to a fine dining establishment, only skip the dress and simply wear your lingerie, stilettos, and apron while roasting.

4) Romantic rose petals leading to the bed with the song "Let's Get it On," by Marvin Gaye playing in the background is a Naughty & Nice invitation no one would pass up.

5) Try using a remote control vibrator in your panties while out in public.  You can either give the remote to your partner for surprise stimulation, or keep the control and give yourself a little arousal whenever you get bored (ie. in the Starbucks line).

6) Since we are in holiday season, how about the "white elephant" gift be something erotic.  Imagine someone opening up a leather whip, a jade egg, or a book of erotica.  You sit innocently in your Holiday sweater smiling to yourself.

I dare you to come play with me in the garden of Naughty & Nice!  Happy Holidays.

"A little Magic can take you a long way." Raold Dahl

© Lord Coltrane, Adorn Yourself for the Magic of Ritual

It's that magical time of year, when many festive rituals take place.  We decorate with colored lights to brighten up the night sky, we sing familiar songs, family and friends reunite, some pull out their favorite Holiday sweaters (which I only recommend if you are adorned with sparkly nipple covers or racy lingerie underneath!), and we get excited for the presents that we give and get.

But let's be real.  It is also a time of high anxiety for some.  The gift giving concept alone has so many strings attached.  Are we good parents if we don't get our kids the latest technology?  Did we stuff the stockings enough?  Shoot, Aunt Meg got me a gift, where do I get a pink snuggy?  What do our lovers really want?  All this takes time, money, and really good crowd karma.

The answer to floating through the holiday chaos with a bit of sensuality is all in your daily personal care ritual.  You can't be depleted if you take the time to fill yourself up with a sacred routine of personal pleasures.  With a sugar & spice filled ritual, you will be so full of goodness, that you'll be overflowing with generosity.

Daily Sugar & Spice Ritual:

1) Each morning, adorn yourself in your favorite sexy look (to wear under your regular clothes), or do this naked.  This step is important in keeping you close to your body.  I hear way too many excuses that the holidays cause people to gain unwanted weight.  If you honor your body every morning during the holidays, you will not go for that extra cup of eggnog.

2) Create a sacred space with a comfortable pillow you can sit on, a lit ritual candle, scented lotion or oil, 3 small pieces of paper, and a small fireproof container (like an ashtray).

3) As you sit or kneel on your pillow, light your candle and start to nourish your skin with lotion or oil.  With each loving stroke, thank your body for her health, beauty, and devotion.  Feel free to go a little further with a bit of physical self-pleasure, that always starts the day off right!

4) Take the first piece of paper and write down any limiting idea you want to get rid of for the day ie) I don't have any money for gifts this year.  When you are done, thank the thought and then burn it in the tray.  Watch the flames engulf the thought that gives you the most charge for the day.

5) Take the second piece of paper and write just one thing that you desire to happen for the day. ie) I wish to have a pleasure filled shopping experience today. Do not burn this, but keep it in a special place until the end of the holidays where you can review them before the new year.

6) Take the third piece of paper and write a gratitude. ie) I am grateful for good friends and family.  Keep this paper with you. At any point during the day, place it face up where a stranger can find it.

7) Before you blow out your candle and rise, put your hand on your heart and say "I am full of the greatest gift that is LOVE."  Then proceed with your regular daily routine.

8) Good Karma extra credit.  At some point of your day, give a stranger a genuine compliment or do a random act of kindness.

The five extra minutes you spend on this morning ritual will give you the fuel to take yourself and others higher during the holidays.  Rituals are like magic, and the nourishing practice allows for the ideas to penetrate our cells and give us nourishment.

I look forward to watching you spread your divine goodness around!

© Lord Coltrane "Naughty & Nice" - Custom Lord Coltrane gown

Next week kicks off a holiday frenzy that most children adore, and some adults secretly dread.  I know I should be focusing on gratitude, family, and the "blessings of the harvest" during this Thanksgiving holiday, but I'm not.

Instead, I'd like to shine light on the stressful parts of gathering for the holidays...then how we can have fun with it. 

A Few Stresses:

• It can take up to 4 hours to cook a turkey.  There are so many rules about making a turkey perfect; brine it, roast it upside down, deep fry it, stick a beer can in it, massage butter under the skin, wrap it up in bacon (I combine them all, just in case).  Who wants to cook for that long (other than chefs)?
• All the side dishes are fattening...carbs, carbs with marshmallows, creamy fat drippings, butter, butter, butter. There goes the waist line!
• Too many people at the banquet table, or not enough.  Either everyone has a family obligation, so you feel like the outcast invite.  Or, crazy aunts, possessed children, and hard to please friends descend upon your home as you slave away in the kitchen. 
• Even if it is a potluck, somebody is going to bring the jello mold with fake fruit and some creamy weirdness that you all have to eat.
• Clean up. Everyone is too sleepy to help clean up. It happens all the time.

How to "Sexify" the Thanksgiving L-Tryptophan Blues:

• If you are hosting Thanksgiving dinner, you can do three things to make your life easier.
  1. Inspired by the Movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith, order a pre-made meal that you can doctor up yourself with extra butter and garlic. Pretend you made it.
  2. Prepare everything in skimpy lingerie and fluffy heeled kitten slippers. 
  3. Assign everyone a specific potluck side and give each a sexy name.
• Create a dress theme for your dinner.  People hate this, but when we are asked to step up and think about ourselves and the dinner party, we are much more involved.  Your guests will be annoyed while at home getting ready, but when they see other people in pilgrim wear, feathered headdresses, or even evening gowns, they'll have more fun than in their "mom jeans."
• If you are going to a dinner, put on an evening gown or cocktail dress that makes you feel good. Wear sexy undies beneath it.  As the other guests drink a little too much, or are slowing down with too many extra helpings, you get a little turn on.
• Whether you are a guest or hosting, enjoy a few secret kegels or any sexy self stimulation under the table.  This will help you keep in touch with your body.

While most women will think more about how much time they have left to cook their turkey, you will be thinking about how fabulous it feels making stuffed turkey in your negligee.  Instead of having a spot of gravy on your sweater, you'll change into something ravishing (with a hidden piece of sexiness just for you).  When all the other guests sit at the table numb with stuffing (literally and figuratively), you will be enjoying an intimate charge for your personal pleasure.

I hope you have the juiciest, most satisfying, and delicious Thanksgiving dinner!

- Osho

© Lord  Coltrane

We come to the end of the 7 Deadly Sins Series with the cutest of them all - Sloth. 

I'm not sure which came first, Sloth the Sin, or Sloth the Animal.  But, if you've ever witnessed a sloth in action, you'd be hard pressed to see the connection.

Like most labels that keep us down, Slothfulness needs to be redefined.

We are a culture of go, go, go, and do, do, do.  In a recent survey of working mothers, here's a typical schedule:  Wake. Get ready. Make breakfast. Eat. Drop kids off to school. Commute to work. Work. Errands. Work. Meetings. Pick kids up from school. Appointments. Grocery Shopping. Make Dinner. Eat. Help with homework. Clean house. Sex (maybe!). Sleep.

Once in a while, we do need to stop, stay in bed, and do absolutely nothing (except maybe eat bon bons).  Some people might label this "slowing down" as laziness. I call it luxuriating in necessary leisure time.

If we don't take the time to care for ourselves and recharge, we simply burn out.  When we burn out, we get uptight, cranky, and controlling.  We are full of anger and exhaustion.  We collapse and want to do NOTHING more.  Regardless of the emotional and physical work we've already been through, we are then labeled lazy.

Relaxing is like surrendering. In order to harvest the things we need to learn from, we need to let go. Our readiness to slow way down will open us up to receiving the guidance needed for expansion and growth. 

We focus too much on the guilt of being exhausted and wanting to crawl under a rock, instead of honoring where our bodies, hearts, and minds are at the moment.

It is time to incorporate a dreamy kind of slothfulness into your lives on a regular basis.

4 STEPS TO DREAMY SLOTHFULNESS:

(First, create a sign which can be labeled "My Sloth Time - Please Do Not Disturb" and use it every time you need to slow down.)

Daily Meditation.  A great time to meditate is in the morning before you start your day to help facilitate a smooth routine.

Sleep in Sunday. Naked.  Make sure you have someone in the house that can feed the dog (or kids), and let everyone in your household know that this day is your scheduled sleep-in day.  Feel your body between the sheets. Take time to dream.

Salt Scrub and Candle lit bath once a week.  Put on some soft music and use candles to light your bathroom.  Treat yourself to shedding your skin of any frustrations you accumulated during the week with a salt scrub of Epson Salts and lavender oil.  Do this directly in the tub before you add water.  After you are done with gently scrubbing off the top layer of dead skin, you can add water to the tub.  Soaking in the saltwater will rejuvenate your muscles and your soul.

Self-Pleasure.  Give yourself up to your own touch.  You are the only one who truly knows what you like.  This practice will help you be in touch with your own body, which is essential to feeling fulfilled and rejuvenated. 

Eve was tempted by the serpent to taste the forbidden fruit, and it's been Sin ever since. Envy, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Rage, Pride, and Sloth are all human experiences that oppress us with feelings of guilt. 

All are just part of our duality which makes us whole.  Embracing our dark moments is much more healthy than denying them, so even if the outside world wants to label our feelings as sin, you are never "wrong."

© Lord Coltrane Custom Confection Bustier

Is feeling PROUD such a bad thing?  Aren't we proud of our family when they reach their goals, and proud of ouselves when we get things right? 

The messages are way too confusing:  Love yourself, but don't be conceited; have a great work ethic, but don't be boastful about your victories; do your best, but don't show off.  We're even told to swallow our pride.

But what happens when we do swallow our pride? Our sense of self gets distorted, we become smaller, and don't quite fit in anymore. We end up giving away our power to the circumstances that limit us, and the people who want to keep us down.  Shame begins to replace pride with a deep-rooted limiting thought process.  Our actions become artificial to our authentic truth and we get depressed, fall ill, sell our souls.

© Lord Coltrane

I believe in positive self-image.  We should take pride in ourselves and our conscious choices to become the best we can be.  With a healthy sense of self-worth, we are confident, not conceited; we possess pride, not arrogance.

HOW TO BE AUTHENTICALLY PROUD:

1. RECOGNIZE & NAME all limiting thoughts you have about yourself.  Make a list of them: I'm not smart enough. I'm too old. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not worthy.  When you actually see these constricting beliefs, you'll understand why you make or don't make certain choices. If you think you are not pretty enough, you might not be outgoing at a party.  If you think you are too old, you might not take that class you've always been interested in.
2. PHYSICAL CONSCIOUSNESS is important to understanding how negative thoughts play a role in your overall health and well-being.  Pay attention to precisely where your limiting beliefs cause a physical sensation.  "I'm not good enough" might make you lower your head, creating a chronic neck pain, or "I'm not worthy" might give you a sensation in your gut, leading to an ulcer.
3. CELEBRATE YOURSELF & BRAG at least once a day to a girlfriend or family member.  Sharing your accomplishments, big or small, is self-training that honors your talents and abilities.  You will become much more aware of how much reasonless power you may have given to dishonoring conversations with yourself.

Peacocks are proud and beautiful.  A pride of lions are awe-inspiring.  The Pride Parade celebrates human rights.  Let's shine the light on our pride, stand tall, and love every inch of our unique selves.

"Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name"

- Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones

© Lord Coltrane, Halloween Selfie, Custom Underbust Corset

HAPPY HALLOWS EVE!  This is one of my favorite celebrations.  I love stepping into a different character to explore how it makes me feel.  It is an opportunity for all of us to investigate archetypes, animal totems, alter egos, and the erotic creatures that live within us, or that we have yet to discover (topics I cannot wait to dive into with you!). 

The process of excavating what lurks beneath the surface of our skin, can be both exciting and excruciating. We learn that we have a public persona, and a private persona; we possess both light and dark.  Often times, we hide the dark side, keep it pushed way deep down, or wrap it up in a beautiful Tiffany box and tie it up with a white satin bow.  Like a newly caged wild animal, our concealed pain, secrets, and desires will only scratch, growl, and rip things apart to get out.

In the book Free to Love, Free to Heal, David Simon, M.D. explains that "pent-up anger, long-held sadness, and lingering guilt are for many people more debilitating to their psychological and physical health than any problem with physical digestion."  One of the first steps to releasing any emotional and psychological toxicity is to "identify" - in other words, find the devil within.

Identifying our inner angels and devils also helps us to reveal our inner desires.  Many women have no idea what they desire.  They are content to please, to nurture, and to stay in their cage.  But we deserve not only to be content, we deserve to be wildly happy and fulfilled.  We deserve to be free.  Taking a look at why we choose our daily costumes, let alone the ones we choose for Halloween can be revealing.

When I stepped into the devil for this shoot, I found myself moving in a different way.  I listened to different music.  I like being the bad girl because I'm always following the rules in my "real life" - that is revealing to me.  I realized how much I worry about doing the "right" thing, and this costume gave me permission to make mistakes and much more freedom to explore my dark side.

Tonight, think about why you chose your costume, or why you chose not to dress up at all.  Journal about how it makes you feel and move.  The devil inside might be telling you something! 

© Lord Coltrane Devil Inside Selfie

Happy Halloween!

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

- Oscar Wilde

Ahh Jealousy.  A word that inspires such passionate, nasty drama.  Show's like Mean Girls and Real Housewives, highlight just how much women can be backstabbing, catty, jealous bitches.  We can all relate right?  We've either been the victim of cruel criticism, or lashed out a few venomous words ourselves.

Is it not SO surprising that women have the tendency to fall prey to the green eyed monster? Women are half the population, and still the patriarch dominates almost every aspect of life.  Across the globe, our bodies are shamed, and our genitals mutilated. We are covered up from head to toe, we are not heard (even if we are, we are labeled too bossy), and we are still not financially rewarded as our male peers.  What does that say about our worth?

No wonder we are bitter, competitive, and jealous of our sisters that seem to have "more." We're being fooled to think that there are only a few morsels of abundance and love left at the top.  Women are fighters and survivors - of course we will scratch, bite, and step on each other to have our share.

We don't realize that there is plenty of everything for all of us. We can choose to see all women, especially the ones who are jealous of us or who we are jealous of, as revolutionary sisters on the verge of breaking through the confines that make us feel small.  What we need to do is look at ENVY with rose colored glasses, instead of green.  We need to get Pink with Envy and learn to use our slips into jealousy as something inspirational and productive, rather than competitive and destructive. 

HOW TO BE AN ENVIOUS SAINT:

You are the fairst of them all...and so is she.  If you find yourself going down the wicked path of jealousy,  try to be envious in a way that honors another woman.  Give someone a compliment using the word jealous, "I'm so jealous of your outfit, you look amazing."  You've just honored a feeling you have, plus given a compliment.  "I'm so jealous she gets to travel so much, I'm excited to plan a trip."  Use your jealousy to uplift and inspire.

You must be interesting.  When a woman is hyper critical of you, or you get the feeling that she gossips about you the moment your back is turned, try seeing yourself a woman worth talking about.  The only way to avoid criticism or judgement is to do absolutely nothing, which is not an option for empowered women.  Understand that judgement is that other person's feeling of insignificance.  Be compassionate and know that it takes effort to turn competitive envy into productive envy.

You are enough.  We need to know that we are perfect as we are.  Once we fill ourselves up with this knowledge, we will not see other women as having "more."  We'll see them as an inspiration,  and a reflection of ourselves.  If you like something in another person, know that you have that quality in you and can choose to nurture it more.  If you dislike someone's character, know you also have that quality in you, and can choose to ignore it or improve on it.  Other people are a reflection of ourselves.  Cultivate what you admire, and deeply look at what you don't.  Envy is now a signal for you to take a look within.

Have authority over your jealousy.  The feeling is not the problem, it's when the feeling overtakes us.  Use envy, directed at you or from you, as a tool to measure your self-worth at that moment.  Be envious, but also be happy for someone, there is no sin in that!

"Money is like a Perfect Lover. All it wants to do is serve you and support you. All it requires, in return, is to be respected and appreciated."

- Barbara Stanny, Leading Authority on Money & Women

© Lord Coltrane, "Booty"

GOT BOOTY?

Women have a weird relationship with money. I know I do (or did).  Like almost every part of our bodies or lives, receiving or earning our "booty" has its place on the dark side.

I recently realized that I have this underlying conflict with "success."  I thought that people who made money were bad in some way. Or, only blood, sweat, and tears would get you to financial security.  Many women still believe that their masculine partners should be the bread winners.  But even if you can admit to loving the money you make, do you sometimes feel like you are working your (gorgeous) ass off more than your male colleagues?

© Lord Coltrane, "Revel in Abundance"

THE SEXY SIDE OF GREED

A leading expert on women and finance is Barbara Stanny.  She has written amazing books on women and their relationship with money.  She also offers classes and seminars to help women step into their power to claim wealth.  In a lecture I attended, she had us riveted by daring us to acknowledge our "call to greatness," showing us that we can be richly rewarded for our contributions, and coined the term "blissipline" - disciplined action of affluence centered around our own bliss.  She provides a very feminine approach to owning our worth and benefiting from it.  Amen!

Another juicy find is the 3F Report, it is business forecasting like no other.  Unlike the traditional consulting firms that tend to be very linear in their approach to business, this shamanism meets business perspective is more in tune with feminine intuition.  It is a sexier and smoother way to be fully aligned with the universal energy that leads to abundance.  They calculate the shifts that are happening on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis. Here, a Business Leader and an Oracle/Futurist come together to consult the Akashic Records to access Divine Wisdom. They ask the right questions relating to overall business trends, or your personal finances.  They predict massive shifts in the way we do business today, and illuminate how our businesses can flow with it.  They just made our sexy greed that much easier!

© Lord Coltrane, Sexy Greed

SEDUCING ABUNDANCE:

Find out what your relationship is with money: Do you like it, or do you need it?  Learn to like it.  See money or abundance like nourishment.  You can fill yourself up with good stuff, or with bad stuff.  Keep your intentions and soul's purpose in alignment with your heart, and the money becomes something you can share (philanthropy), and nourished by (self expansion and information).

Investigate your soul's purpose.  What do you love to do? What do you desire? How can you contribute? What are you grateful for?

Align your life's desires with what you do "for a living."

Grow and Contribute:  Start investing in yourself.  Start giving back in generous ways. 

Consult with the Oracle!

Money is neither good or bad, it is just a thing that we use to trade goods and services.  It has no opinion, doesn't hold a gun to our heads to do the "wrong" thing with it.  In fact, one can do many great things with the money earned.  Let's learn to get a little greedy, and start having a love affair with abundance.

"We are not born with a need for knowledge, but a HUNGER for it.  Eve bit the apple, and it has been GLUTTONY ever since." 

- Anthony Marais

© Lord Coltrane, Custom Confection Bustier

We often refer to gluttony as the pleasures of eating or drinking in excess, especially those delicacies that are "bad" for us.  Our society's need to label just about everything, turns even slightly overweight people into sinners unable to restrain themselves from overindulgence.  That's not a very productive or compassionate label.

In my opinion, weight and body image is a much more complicated subject than simply feasting. Emotional anxiety, holding on to anger, pain, and other stresses are huge contributors to the destruction of our health - there is no shame in this, we all experience it.

Let's turn around our relationship with food and promote gluttony as a deliberate state of pleasure, so indulgent that we are stuffed to the rim with bliss. No room for anything else but the delights that serve us. 

"In Love, as in Gluttony, Pleasure is a matter of the utmost precision" - Italo Calvino

© Lord Coltrane, Indulgent Self Portrait

How to Indulge in Gluttony without Guilt (and maybe even lose a few extra pounds!)

Before you sink your teeth into anything, you must learn to love and honor your body at every stage.  See "Booty is Back; How to Love Your Bum," and translate it to your other body parts.  Thank your body before each meal, for she is your temple.  A little mantra might help, "My body is my temple, I will treat her as she deserves to be treated - like a goddess."

Dress up for each meal - the more outrageous, the better. As you would dress up for a special dinner date, why not dress up for the most important person - yourself? Try treating every meal like being out on a date with someone exquisite. You might be tempted to keep your lipstick on by eating slowly and seductively.  You might make better meal choices if you drape yourself in an evening gown.  Cupcakes taste so much better while wearing lingerie.  Even if you don't go that far, putting on something special will remind you how special you are. 

Every meal should be fit for a queen. Take the time to make your meals look beautiful.  Even if it's a tuna fish sandwich, serve it up on a beautiful platter.  Barbeque flavored (my fave) potato chips should be displayed in a crystal goblet.  Your soda only touches your lips with a champagne glass.  Again, sweets are best wearing lingerie and eaten off your finest china. The more unhealthy the food (fast and highly processed), the more luxurious your setting should be.  You already know that junk food has that perfect addictive combination of salt, fat and zero nutritional value.  Because it is not a real food, your taste buds do not communicate with your brain receptors to tell your body it is full - until you feel sick. Taking the time to create luxury will make you think first.  And if you take the time to create such a lavish scene, you deserve the treat!

Seriously enjoy your food.  Each bite should be a sexual act. You might as well get as much pleasure in eating as you do with sex.  You will find that paying attention to the flavors, smells, and texture of the food is an erotic experience. When you are sensually fulfilled, you usually don't need to fill yourself up with non-nourishing foods.  It is impossible to really feel, taste, or smell your food if you eat too fast.  If a little sauce does make its way somewhere other than your lips, it is the perfect opportunity for a seductive lick of the tongue.

Finally, give yourself permission to be human.  Let go of all the rules and have a little fun with your meals.  If there is a food that has control over you, take it into the bedroom and figure out how to use it as a playful sex tool (don't knock it until you try it!).  You will soon find that you have greater control over it.

Indulge with me ladies. Let us feast, devour and enjoy life!

"Curiosity is gluttony. To See is to devour." - Victor Hugo

There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.

- Carl Jung

© Lord Coltrane, Dance with the Dark Side

THERE IS GREATNESS TO OUR WRATH

Rage is one of the emotions we keep hidden deep down inside in order to protect ourselves from the pain and suffering we've experienced.  Sometimes we hide our anger with a smile, or by trying to please the people around us, or with the determination to succeed at all cost.  We often hide our anger because it is not beautiful or sexy.

Our wounds can vary from abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) to overcoming major obstacles (racism, sexism, classism) in order to get to where we want to be.  None are wrong reasons to feel rage.  What is wrong (or a sin in this case), is the belief that you are not worthy of letting go of the suffering, or perhaps that you are at fault for the afflictions you've experienced. 

Instead of learning to release our pain, we learn to "hold it together", push the memories deep down as if they didn't exist, and make excuses for them.  If we don't set our pain free, it begins to live in our cells, mutating and multiplying into illnesses that eat away at our physical bodies, and ultimately at our emotional souls.

DANCE WITH YOUR RAGE

The goddess Kali, often shown as a highly sexual, dark master of the Dance of Destruction, is all about WRATH.  She is often shown naked to represent the truth beyond all pretense.  Kali's magnificent power is in her ability to cause major damage and horrific terror as she dances with ecstatic rage.  But, it is also said that her lethal fury is only to recreate and illuminate new possibilities.  That's pretty hot.

We must learn to dance with wrath in order to let our pain and suffering go.

Honoring our anger each time it makes its way to the surface, is like unpeeling the protective layers that hide our truth.  We can finally begin to transcend the pain our anger protects, soon to emerge into the light with freedom and grace.  We may even be free of the illnesses caused by our emotional afflictions.  It is a very sensual experience to go from anger to sorrow to gratitude.  The passion you find in rage is very similar to the passion you find in ecstatic pleasure; tension, focus, and release.  You are left vulnerable, less constricted, and open to receiving more - which of course is a very seductive place to be.

THE WRATH DANCE IN 3 EASY STEPS

1. Find RAGE music (Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails) and create a Wrath Mountain with a pile of pillows.  You can use a towel, a pillow, or a soft bat to beat your Wrath Mountain with unadulterated fury.  Imagine the pillows are those who have wronged you.  Imagine the pillows as the pain or illness itself.  Don't hold back.
2. Find SORROWFUL music (any song that makes you cry! Matthew Mayfield) and get on top of that Wrath Mountain and weep with them, flatten them out if they aren't already.  Listen to how melancholy the music is, and allow yourself to move with heartbreaking sadness.  Let the tears flow and flow.
3. Find GRATITUDE or EMPOWERING music (Phenomenal Woman by Monique Daniel or Devi Prayer by Craig Pruess) and begin to give yourself comforting caresses.  Find every part of your body and give it a little love.  Place your hand on your heart and find gratitude for all the wonderful things in your life. Praise yourself for the courage to let go a little bit at a time.

Note: It is best to find your 3 songs first and play them in order!

SEE YOUR LIGHT & BEAUTY AS A RESULT OF YOUR WRATH

The light inside you can only come out when you've honored your darkness.  It seems that Kali comes forth for us at the most inconvenient of times, almost shocking us into necessary rage.  If you are beginning to simmer, or if you are in full rage, let it be and let it out.  You WILL see your beautiful light. 

© Lord Coltrane, Light out of the Dark

: a strong feeling of sexual desire

: a strong desire for something

Desire. Seduction. Yearning. Sexuality.  All these words are associated with lust, which has a very bad wrap for some reason. Lust is not only one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but the lustful are blown around in eternal restlessness, with hurricane-like conditions, in Dante's 2nd Circle of Hell.

The second definition for lust, according to Webster, is "a strong desire for something."  Experts in business, education, and spirituality teach us to manifest our dreams by having clear intentions and STRONG DESIRES.

Deepak Chopra writes an entire book on Desire titled, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire.  He promotes writing your desires down and looking at them everyday.  One of his meditations for finding your path includes, "What do I desire?"  Author Napoleon Hill writes in Think and Grow Rich, that one must be clear and intent on a specific desire (i.e. noting down the exact amount of money you want to make) to gain financial success.

Lust: A Strong Feeling of Sexual Desire

We are born with a clitoris; that mysterious little gem on our body with 8,000 nerve endings. Its sole purpose? P L E A S U R E.  With enough attention, adoration, and physical care, this sacred spot provides women with hours and hours of sexual goodness.  It's such a shame that this magnificent piece of our anatomy, which is all about sexual desire, gets mixed up with the sinners (Why do women get blamed for everything?)

The book Extended Massive Orgasm (EMO), by Steve and Vera Bodansky, focuses on exactly what the title states. They focus on the woman's pleasure (finally!).  Steve and Vera advocate that a woman turned-on, is a lot happier than her turned-off sisters. And, "their happiness and attractiveness attract the fulfillment of desires."  They basically teach the virtues of strong sexual desire and pleasure, especially for women.  I meet with Steve and Vera next week. Of course I'll share with you more of their depth of knowledge on the subject.

Lust is a natural yearning.  Lust is deep desire.  Lust is a sexual energy.  LUST IS A VIRTUE.

How to be Lust-Worthy:

• Be clear on your desires: Write them down and look at them daily.  You can have a column for your everyday life and your sex life.
• Learn what touch pleases you, sexually and non-sexually: If you can communicate how you like to be touched both sexually and non sexually, you will always be in pleasure.  Pleasure manifests your desires.
• Be authentic: Energetically, if you are true to yourself, you will attract the perfect lover. You will also attract the perfect companions.
• Awaken all your senses:  Being completely present and aware of everything around you makes one a super sensual being.  This is the only way to live in flow, which also attracts the things you want most.
• Know and honor your body: Understanding your body and its pleasure points is a very powerful tool.  Self-pleasure is an instant turn-on whenever you need it!
• Believe that you and your body are perfect at every stage. 
• Surrender to your virtue and  pleasure.

Lust away ladies!!  It wouldn't be so bad hanging in the 2nd Circle with Cleopatra and the rest.

"A woman is closest to being naked when she is well-dressed.”
― Coco Chanel

© Lord Coltrane, Lord Coltrane custom chiffon & lace dress, Subject: former model, turned "walk in style" coach. The Terrace, Gramercy Park Hotel, NYC

FULL EMBODIMENT OF YOUR FEMININE STYLE

Women are a lot of things: They are smart, beautiful, courageous, creators of life, lovers, nurturers, innovators, and leaders. I could go on and on. 

But most women feel powerless when it comes to knowing how to dress for themselves.  In terms of style, we are so confused about what to wear for each occasion.  We want a dress code, we want to know what everyone else is wearing, and we scour fashion magazines for the latest trends.  Are we showing too much, or not enough?

We all know that women are most beautiful when they dress (and undress) for themselves.  Women who embody their eternal and personal style, eclipse any fashion trend.  Former model turned "walk in style" coach, Dana Cobbs, is an expert on understanding how to carry yourself with poise.  She teaches women how to walk with power and grace, claiming that the first step in style confidence, is to own what you are wearing (whatever that may be).

FULL EMBODIMENT OF YOUR NAKED FEMININE POWER

I always like to take it a step deeper.  Being "naked," literally and metaphorically, pushes each of us to know and understand our deepest selves. 

When we strip away all the ideas of how we should be (or should be dressed) to fully expose our true nature, we are in style, we are captivating, we are beautiful.  Learn to love yourself naked, no matter what stage of your health journey you are at, and you will feel and look better in your clothes.  Learn to get naked with your truth, and whatever you wear will be the hottest trend.

Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed"

- William Blake

© Lord Coltrane, Subject: former model, turned "walk in style" coach. The Terrace, Gramercy Park Hotel, NYC

HOW TO USE YOUR NAKED & STYLED POWER

• Love each and every part of your luscious body. I promote getting naked in front of the mirror quite a bit (see How to Love Your Bum). 
• Luxuriate in self-care (see Bathe in Your Own Beauty), and treat your body with love and respect.
• When putting on your clothing for the day (any type), do it with intention and awareness. 
• Try to feel the fabric as part of your body, be aware of how it caresses your skin. 
• Love what you decide to put on.
• Once dressed, walk as if you were a fashion model displaying an haute couture gown on the runway.  You can do this with your finest dress, or your most comfy yoga pants - just own it.

"I stand in awe of my body."

- Henry David Thoreau

© Lord Coltrane Lowell Hotel, NYC

Bringing Booty Back

Battling body image is an oppressive process. We often negatively obsess about one part of our body, instead of looking at ourselves in a positive way, inclusive of mind-body-spirit.  We then start to experience low self-esteem, which limits our happiness.

In honor of loving every inch of our feminine being, we need to love our whole body.  So let's start with bringing booty (and self-esteem) back. 

Joseph McClendon III, a UCLA professor and guru of Mastering the Law of Attraction, claims that self-esteem is "just a feeling about a particular occurrence that happened in the past, attaching it to now, and projecting it into the future." 

In order for us to finally experience self-love, this means we must ignore the definitions other people place on negative or positive body images.  We must believe that our bodies are beautiful and perfect exactly as they are right now.

During his live sessions, Joseph often tells students to stop and glance at their reflections in a mirror whenever possible, with a wink and grin (Austen Power's style), while saying "You are amazing!"

Let's take this technique a little further, and give ourselves permission to obsess about one part of our body in a positive way for a change.

The theme song for this project is  "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor

How to Love Your Booty:

LOOK IN THE MIRROR: Every chance you get (naked or not) take a peek over your shoulder and get a good look at your beautiful ass.

We need to look in the mirror at our own bodies more often, and learn to love each and every part of its perfect imperfection.  We need to learn to See Beauty in All Things.

SPANK IT: Turn around, check out your ass, and give her a little flirtatious spank. 

During S-Factor dance classes, women are welcome to give themselves a little sweet spanking whenever their muscles burn and need more encouragement.  In other communities, people really do enjoy a safe, non-threatening spank now and then.

SHAKE IT: Notice how gorgeous your curves are, and give your ass a little shake and luscious hip circle. 

The popular Buti Yoga classes have you shaking and spiraling your ass while incorporating traditional yoga flow, tribal dance, and plyometrics.  I love the Marathi meaning to buti: the cure to something hidden or kept secret.  So shake it ladies, it's the new "tree pose."

CARESS IT: Admire your bum and caress her with positive affirmations and touch.  Pick out a few things that you love about your bum; smooth skin, muscle tone, skin tone, shape, anything.  Then give your bottom a physical caress or self-love massage.

Not only does it feel good, there are many benefits to a butt massage.  They include; reducing cellulite naturally, easing sciatica pain, and relieving "Dead Butt Syndrome." Plus, it is pretty sexy to watch someone caressing their own ass.

STOP CRITICIZING yourself and others.

Besides spreading bad energy into the universe, it is harmful to focus on the negative.  Everyone has a different opinion about what is beautiful to them, and beauty comes in different shapes, colors and sizes.  The more you criticize, the harder it is to see the good in anything, and the more you start to embody what you say.

I hope to see a lot of women standing in awe of their own bodies.  Just feel beautiful to be beautiful.  Love your ass!

Walk This Way

Street WalkerHow to Walk Like a Pro. Dress by Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane, White Matte Jersey Dress with Python Belt & Back Lace Detail

First Impressions Count

Very few women (or men) are conscious about how they walk down the street.  You probably don't even notice how many people cross your path on a daily basis.  But any woman (supermodel or not) who struts around with glamor, grace, and sex appeal, is very hard to keep our eyes off of. 

How we carry ourselves is a direct reflection of how we feel inside.  The good news is, we can change how we feel inside by how we carry ourselves.  So why don't we go straight for being captivating. 

Most of us are just 1 millimeter away from our true greatness.  I learned this from Tony Robbins at a live conference, where I sat in the audience with Usher (yep, THE Usher - more on that later!). In short, Tony teaches that we need to embody our greatness to become our highest and most productive selves.  I will add that women also need to embody their femininity, in full, in order to really feel and express that divine power.

WALK THE WALK (Or Learn To Walk Like a Former 49er Cheerleader)

One easy way to demonstrate your feminine power is to walk your walk.  With correct posture, a measured (yet sexy) gait, and focus, you will personify confidence, beauty, sensuality, grace and power (all very attractive qualities).

I was fortunate enough to work with this beautiful, smart, and funny former 49er Cheerleader, who had fabulous composer and a seriously sexy walk.  I learned a few tips just by watching her.

STANCE: Start with a neutral stance.  This means; core tight, back straight, shoulders relaxed, and don't over arch your back or tuck in your pelvis.  When in doubt, lift your chest 1 millimeter higher (feel the difference?!). Sit on one hip, then place your dominant foot in front of that standing leg.

FIRST STEPS: When you take your first step (with your front leg), relax into your hip with each stride. Allow the natural sway of your hips to flow with your gait, as you slightly cross one foot in front of the other (opposed to walking  heel-to-toe in a strict, straight line).

ARMS: Keep your arms relaxed and let them swing naturally.  Shoulders should remain loose, but not mimic your hip or arm movements.

EYE CONTACT: Keep your chin at up, looking ahead to where you are going, NOT the floor! Gaze at people you walk by and smile - they'll think you have a juicy secret to tell.

KEEP IT LOOSE: "Relaxed" does not mean sloppy.  Keeping your chest 1 millimeter higher than usual will make any walk look good.  Get out of your head, and just feel how good walking in a languid manner can be.  If it feels good to your body, it will look good on your body.

STRIKE A POSE: At the end of your walk, whether at the nearest Starbucks line or grocery isle, strike your pose.  There is nothing sexier than a woman with excellent posture and composure. Then maybe take a turn.  Make this is your moment. 

Strike a PostLord Coltrane White Matte Jersey Bustier Dress

© Lord Coltrane, 2014

I'll be in New York next week for some fashion design & photography, but I'll make sure to visit my friend, a former professional runway model, who knows first hand the importance of stature, gait, and composure.  She'll teach me a few more tricks on how to walk and strike my pose.  In the meantime, have fun walking down the street like a "pro", and feel how worth it you are.

Haute Tease

tease: to playfully provoke & haute: of the highest standard

© Lord Coltrane, 2014

Consider flirtation a form of expressing your highest self.  Flirtation with our partners is an authentic way of expressing how good we feel inside, and how good we feel with our partners. Plus, it can be really fun. 

Many women in committed relationships have shared their insecurities about flirting because of an internal conflict with initiating sex.  Sometimes the insecurity relates to deeper, unresolved issues about rejection, or simply the desire to be the one "wanted."

The good news is, most men will never reject their partners' "come on."  It is a thrilling change for men to have a woman initiate sex.  Initiating sex will give your man a boost in self-esteem, and maybe you too! In regards to "wanting to be wanted," I guarantee that he will more than want you; he will want to devour you after a really haute tease.

From now on, try thinking about flirtation in general (more on that later) and teasing your man, as an exercise in expressing how much you are willing to honor your highest self, playfully and seductively.

Haute Tease: 6 Sexy Ways to Tease Your Man

1) THE VERBAL TEASE: Make a seductive promise during the day.  You can leave a message at the office, whisper in his ear just before he leaves the house in the morning, or send a flirtatious text during the day (men very much enjoy sexting by the way!).  Pay him a juicy compliment, or reminisce about a past sexy interlude.  Then tell him you have a special treat for him when he gets home.   Say something that would be natural, yet provocative.

2) THE NON-TOUCH TEASE: When you both get home, you can play the "can't touch" game.  Tell him your surprise requires that you can't touch each other until much later.  But do tease him with a barely touching welcome home kiss on the lips.  Get your body close to him often. Keep telling him that you really want to touch him.  Your senses will heighten simply because you "can't" do something.

3) THE TASTE TEASE: Create a cozy & romantic atmosphere with food and candlelight.  You can be very casual about this.  Whatever you decide to have for dinner, homemade or take-out, put the meal on one plate and share the utensils.  Try feeding him (slowly and sensually!). You will naturally mimic his mouth and tongue movements, which can be quite erotic.  For those of you with families, send the kids to bed early and then share a dessert together.  Feeding each other bananas dipped in chocolate is yummy, messy, and very sexy.

4) THE VISUAL TEASE: Wear sexy lingerie to bed.  Put on a sexy pair of panties and matching bra (or your favorite sexy night gown) and walk in on him in the bathroom. Casually brush your teeth (a little arch to show off your booty doesn't hurt!).  Maybe even buy something new for the occasion (see my 70/30 rule).

5) THE COMMAND TEASE: Now it is time to take charge.  Lay on your bed with your sexy lingerie, and tell your man exactly what you want him to do.  Tell him to take off his shirt. Tell him how.  Tell him what to take of next, in the order that you want. Do this slowly and playfully.  Laughter is always welcome.  Then tell him to get in bed (naked of course!), and lay on his tummy.

6) THE TOUCH TEASE:  This is the time when you get to do the touching, not him (yet).  Lightly caress his neck, shoulders, hair, and other non-sexual parts of his body with your fingers, but definitely get close to his most sensitive areas. This will drive him mad. Surprise him with something cold or hot.  A little ice cube down his back (put a glass of ice by your bed!), a metal intimate toy, or melted massage wax would do the trick. Decide where you want to go with this, but leave the "goods" for last. 

The rest is up to you.

I'm positive that your man would be thrilled by your tease. I'm positive he'll worship you for it!

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Serpents#sthash.Dem8TuPC.dpuf

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast in the field...And he said to the woman...'You shall not eat from any tree in the garden?'"

Genisis 3:1

© Lord Coltrane, Lord Coltrane Custom Python Bustier/Hair&Make-Up Kristine Burge't

Snakes have a bad wrap. 

For eons, they've been labeled as evil, sneaky reptiles leading us (women) into temptation.  We are afraid of their hypnotic and cunning abilities, their slithering ways, and their venomous bite. 

But take a closer look to see how snakes possess a beauty like no other:  They are sexy creatures that undulate and slip through the grass.  They are blessed with gorgeous, unique markings.  The touch of their skin is both textured and slippery.  They have the ability to shed old skin for new. 

The positive metaphors for the serpent relate to healing (the universal snake coiled around a stick in medicine), fashion (snakeskin is the new black!), and yoga (Kundalini is the coiled serpent power of our cosmic energies). 

YOUR SERPENT POWER IS SACRED & SEXUAL

I believe there's always a hidden meaning that creates our fears, so it's a good idea to challenge yourself to look for the positive side of the things that scare you.

Indulge me for a moment; maybe our fear of snakes (if you have one) is related to the fear of our own sexual powers? 

In tantra (and other yogic practices) the "serpent power" (or sacred/sexual energy) is so great, it is said that if Kundalini is not opened naturally and spontaneously, then it can be dangerous to our bodies.  Shakti meditation teacher, Sally Kempton, says that we should honor and respect Kundalini energy, as she is trying to expand and awaken you - to put you in touch with with your own deeper spirit.

RISE OF THE SERPENT

There are many ways to awaken your Serpent Powers (meditation, yoga, Chakra opening) when you are ready.  But, we'll save them for another time (or you can find yourself a great Kundalini or Tantra teacher). 

For now we'll focus on how we can naturally own our sexual power on a daily basis, and feel her rise gently.

© Lord Coltrane, Lord Coltrane Custom Python Bustier/Hair&Make-Up Kristine Burge't

• Using all of your senses, be mindfully present each and every moment.  Awakening to our full potential as sensual beings (taste, smell, sound, touch, sight) is a sacred/sexual power.  When we are fully awakened to our senses, we can be aroused by the natural beauty that surrounds us.  We can actually see the energies at play, and take advantage of the opportunities they bring.

• Turn inwards to greet your coiled snake and say "hello." Trust her, and let her guide you (when you are ready) to expand mind/body/soul.  Simply understanding that you have a super-charged power coiled at the base of your spine, should turn you on to your exciting powers as a sexual being.  Explore new sensations without trying to squash them.  Let yourself go!

• Melt into your body and merge your heart energy with your "seed center" (womb).  Throughout the day, create friction energy by rubbing your hands together with the intent to awaken your senses.  Place your hand on your heart and feel the warmth of the energy there.  Then focus your energy down into your seed center and yoni.  With breath and imagination, connect the flow between the heart and the seed center.

This simple practice will allow you to be one with your entire body.  You may feel tingly in your groin and skin, you might feel a loosening of the muscles, you might begin to move with subtle grace.

FEARLESS & SEXY

Now that you are warming to the beauty of snakes, try living fearlessly with the serpent in your body.  It can be quite sexy.

© Lord Coltrane. Secrets of the Bayou.

If all else fails, you can always get yourself a python skirt, jacket, bag, or pair shoes to rock your serpent!

"You must carry a chaos inside you to give birth to a dancing star"

- Nietzsche

© Lord Coltrane

Are you feeling a bit restless in your job, relationship, or spirit? Do you have an inner yearning for some intangible greatness ? Have you played down the emotions of anger, frustration, or anxiety that come up?  Girlfriend, you are not alone. 

The feminine collective consciousness is transforming this very moment.  We are all experiencing the transition of navigating away from masculine ideas of successful living, to a more feminine approach to leading healthy, radiant, fulfilling and abundant lives. 

The shift in recreating our feminine version of gratifying love, family, work and play can be chaotic - it can look like a scattered, unfulfilled, aching haute mess.  But, a haute mess can be really sexy if you know how to dive into your emotions, swim with the feelings, and know when to come up for air.

© Lord Coltrane, Silk & Velvet Cocktail Dress created for "Empowerment"

One of the many great things about being a woman is having an innate talent for emoting.  Truly feeling our emotions is the only way to get through the darkness into the bright, sparkly light.  We need to learn how to deeply welcome, embrace, and fully feel our sufferings in order to get to where bliss lives. 

It is high time we become unapologetic about our feelings.  Let your anger out and let the tears flow.  You will be healthier, brighter, and sexier because of it.  Here is a guideline to help you through the process.

© Lord Coltrane

WELCOME, FEEL, EMBRACE, THANK, LET GO

WELCOME YOUR FEELINGS, DON'T SUPPRESS THEM.  It is such a bad idea to hold in your emotions. They have to be expressed, or the negative energy begins to penetrate your body at the cellular level.  Frustration might express itself as a raging fit at an inappropriate time, anger might manifest itself as a cold sore, or rage might develop into a severe stress related disease. Invite all your feelings to rise - allow them to flow with any amount of force it needs.

REALLY FEEL AND IDENTIFY WITH YOUR EMOTION. Stop thinking about the rightness or wrongness of your feelings, just feel where it lives in your body.  Does anger make your shoulders tight? Is sadness buried in your heart or your gut.  What else comes up for you?  Do you feel shame, embarrassment, pure rage?  There are many ways to get in touch with your emotions (see How to Emerge from the Dumps with Raging Beauty), including moving with it and identifying where it lives on your body.  Try listening to angry music while laying on the floor or your bed, let the music take your body where she wants to go.  Place your hand on the body parts that "hurt."  You have found the core of your limitations, and now have the opportunity for change at the deepest level.

EMBRACE AND GIVE A LITTLE LOVE TO YOUR NEGATIVE FEELING. You have fully expressed a vulnerable part of yourself, and now need to provide loving support. Take a long, deep, healing breath and breath into the areas where you've identified the pain and suffering.  Acknowledge its presence and send it a little energetic love through the breath.

GRATITUDE. Place your right hand on your heart and find gratitude for this feeling, and for the person or incident associated with it.  Thank it for being a challenge, as well as a sign for change and expansion.  Thank your body for its intelligence to ebb and flow - it has a greater capacity for self healing than we usually give it credit for.

LET GO.  You will find that when you allow yourself to fully experience the flow of your emotions, the dark moments will pass and illuminating wisdom will take its place.  Our bodies are constantly shifting and changing - we will have plenty of opportunities to emote with great drama and pleasure again.  So, allow yourself to let go and enjoy the stillness and peace your emoting brings.  Here you will find potentiality for beauty, grace, sensuality, love, and abundance.  All you must do is choose to act on them.

© Lord Coltrane

Like the chaos that created the universe, your chaotic emotional world can create the most exquisite expression of your self.  Have the courage to allow yourself to fully experience the gorgeous haute mess that is you.  Tell me how it goes.

Experience the Full Embodiment of Your Feminine Power through Fashion & Photography

-Eckhart Tolle

© Lord Coltrane Custom Gown to Manifest "Eternal Romance"

This week I am in Nicaragua building a school with buildOn, so my post will be short, but sweet.  Before I left, I was grateful to have created this gown with the intention for "Eternal Romance."  We did the shoot with romance and receiving in mind. 

I just got news that this gorgeous woman, who had been living in a different city from her boyfriend, has packed up and moved her life to be with him.  I predict eternal romance for them!

Practice Gratitude.  Try saying thank you to all those people and situations that were seemingly blocks.  If you look back, they are just challenges to show you how capable you are.

© Lord Coltrane Custom Bustier "Self-Love"

The recent New Moon, in astrological circles, means this is a time to allow our creativity and passions to grow.  It is a time to focus our intentions on how we want to re-create our lives, so that our deepest dreams are granted.  It is a time to get into our bodies and trust the magic she can bring.

Women, who live in their bodies, attract opportunities that seem to open door after door for them. Women, who seem to run into walls along their paths, are often so detached from their bodies that they have become numb and "stuck."

Living in our bodies is one of the most natural things to do.  It only requires using the five senses we were born with.  The women who claim to be too busy, too stressed, or having too many obligations, are ignoring the importance of connecting with their sense of self.  Living in your body is the only way to know who you truly are, and what you truly want.

One Very Simple Way to get Into Your Body: The Self-Love Massage.

Simple things you will need: Natural oil (coconut), your favorite piece of fruit (mango), your favorite sensual song (see my list), a mirror

TOUCH:

Give yourself a really amazing massage, s-l-o-w-l-y.  Feel your neck, your arms, your legs, and everywhere in between (you know what I'm talking about).  Do not short change yourself.  Do this consciously and lovingly. Learn which parts of your body feel really good to your touch.

SMELL:

Coconut oil is one of my favorite all-purpose oils to use.  You can cook with it, you can use it as massage oil, and you use it as an intimate lubricant.  It is perfect. It smells good (and tastes yummy!).  Notice when the smell becomes intense and when it tapers off.  Really take in and enjoy the scents of the oils you choose. 

HEAR:

Put on sultry music and dance (more on dance later!).  Do not worry about what you look like, no one is watching (but that might be fun?!).  Simply feel where the music takes you.  Or, you can use the music to guide you as you give yourself a massage.  The idea is to let the music guide your body in ways it probably hasn't moved in a long time.

TASTE:

After your massage, take a bite out of your favorite fruit (mango for me), and pay attention to the sensations on your tongue.  Most sweet fruits will have the tips of our tongues tingling. If it is sour, your mouth might salivate from the edges. Use your mouth in rated R ways to really enjoy the juice, the sweetness, and the stickiness. Enjoy the whole sensation with your eyes closed.

SEE:

When you are all finished, take a look at yourself in the mirror.  Anyone who would take the time to do this for herself wouldn't be anything less than exquisite.

Try and make this a practice of yours until you can awaken the feelings in a snap (It is free, easy, and you can do it alone at home!).  Take these feelings on a walk with you, or conjure them while you are talking to a lover, or walk down the grocery isle with your sultry song in your head.  Maybe you move a little sexier and slower. Maybe you hear and see things a little more intensely. Maybe you are more in tune with your body, that you flow around or over any obstacle. Maybe you've paved a way for your desires to come find you.

© Lord Coltrane Custom Bustier of Leather & Lace to Unleash the Erotic Creature

53% of marriages end in divorce. 41% of married couples have admitted to cheating on their spouses. These statistics show us that there may be an epidemic of comatose romances out there. Google "Unhappy Marriages," and you'll understand why we need to get in touch with our Erotic Creature. 

Our sex drive is important to a vital and energetic life (see the Power of Your Yoni), so we must wake-up and understand what we truly want from our intimate relationships.  This requires stepping out of our sensual boundaries, into the deeper waters of our Eros.

Most people immediately associate Eros with porn.  I am not talking about pornography here.  The porn industry objectifies women on a massive scale, it is sexist, the content is completely unrealistic to what truly gives a woman pleasure, and it keeps relationships detached on so many levels. I am referring to the eroticism in our committed relationships; that essential titillating energy that keeps us connected, loving and alive.

Beneath the social constructs, the shame, and the labels often associated with women's sexuality, you'll find a creature that is flirtatious, racy, and exciting. She is fantasy. She is longing. She is desire.  She is your Erotic Creature. 

Finding Your Erotic Creature

Make a "Turn-On" List:  Try writing down all your secret cravings and fantasies.  Give yourself the option to burn this piece of evidence immediately after you put pen to paper. It will allow you to be completely honest with yourself.

Examples: Sexy Lingerie, Sensual Music, Oil Massages, Gentle Lover (this is the tame stuff, please be wildly open with your list!).

Make a "No-Way" List:  Write down all those kinky ideas you've heard or read about.  There are a lot of ideas in the book "50 Shades of Grey" that you can refer to (I know some of you have read the books and will see the movie!).  If you've said "No Way" to any of these, but are a teeny bit curious, put it down.

Examples: Multiple Lovers, Bondage, Dominatrix (you get the idea).

Somewhere in between the "Turn-On" list and the "No-Way" list, lies your Erotic Creature.  She can be shy and naughty, powerful and aggressive, or a seductive tease.  

Share your list with your partner, or curate it to your comfort level, then create an opportunity to act it out.

Start out easy.  Maybe you want to meet your lover at a hotel bar and pretend you are strangers.  Maybe you simply want to dress the part of a Dominatrix and call it a night.  Maybe you want to receive the best sensual massage possible. Maybe just sharing your list is enough.  The point is to step into new waters with your partner and re-ignite the passions you had when you first met. You want to recreate mystery, uncertainty, and something profoundly intoxicating, all with the intent for deeper love and connection.

Instead of looking at your list with judgment, try curiosity. Yes you are vulnerable, but vulnerability with your partner creates deeper bonds (see The Haute & Juicy Power of Your Vulnerability).  Your intent to keep the passion alive is a gift of love and devotion. Your partner will be thrilled to know a hidden side of you, and euphoric for an opportunity to help you fulfill your desires. 

Enjoy finding your Erotic Creature.  And like all things, keeping a balance of innocent romance, passionate seduction, authentic connection, and scintillating erotica is important.

Feel free to forward this to your partners if you need a little nudge to create your lists! 

Please let me know if you have detailed questions or topics you'd like to read more about.

Lord Coltrane HauteSurrendering to the Beautiful Power of your Yoni

© Lord Coltrane

"The Beautyiful the Power of Your Yoni"

Your yoni makes miracles happen.  Some of you familiar with Tantra, the wisdom of Shakti, or the goddess already understand the powers of your yoni.  It is feminine sexual energy, or life force energy, that stimulates our ability to manifest our deepest desires.

But let me back up a bit and define "yoni" for those of you unfamiliar with the Sankrit term (as used in the Kama Sutra).  Yoni is your sacred source, your honey pot, your vulva.

Ancient Tantric teachers share that we are the physical expression of the Divine.  We are the source of love, and our hearts are gardens for our souls to live and flourish.  But the gateway to our inner Garden of Eden is through our yonis. 

You must honor your yoni and surrender to her powers.

When you start to learn more about your sexual energy, you begin to understand its magnetic effect on the laws of attraction.  We begin to learn how to plug into our potential, and how to be in flow with the delicious currents of our nature.  When we are connected to our natural fluid rhythm, we experience a magnetic pull, doors begin to open, and our desires come faster and easier.

How to Access Your Yoni Power.

1) Open up, observe and accept the juicy responses that our 5 senses bring.  Taste, smell, hear, touch, and see with renewed wonder.  Really check in on how your sexual energy responds to your daily routine. Basically, you shouldn't ignore what is going on "down there," instead be consciously aware.

2) Surrender, let go, and feel (not think). Your yoni is a sacred place of great wisdom, the source of creativity (see birth of Creativity), life force, and our pleasure center.  Surrender to your yoni by detaching from your ego, fears, and doubts. When you surrender, you find that orgasmic energy is fuel.  Merging this energy with love, passion, connection, and the heart center is the vital force for our health, well-being, and manifesting desires.  We may even find enlightenment.  Plus, it feels good.  And when you feel good, everyone feels good.

3) Choose pleasure.  Your attitude is important to harnessing positive energy.  When you recognize a negative feeling about something, or if something turns you off, convert that energy into something more nourishing for your body and make it a turn on.  Focus and bring the energy down into your yoni. Consciously make a shift to finding the pleasure, and trust that you'll be taken to a better place.

4) Be the giver of bliss.  Whatever you desire most, you must first give it.  When you give unconditional love, deeper love will find you.  When you give pleasure, you will find ecstasy pouring all over you.  When you give joy, expansive happiness will embody you.

Make miracles happen, journey into the universal powers of the feminine, feel deeply and get to know your yoni.  Have fun!

© Lord Coltrane

We usually equate vulnerability with weakness and helplessness.  But to be vulnerable might be the most courageous thing you can do to create a delicious relationship between you and your partner.

Think back to your first love, or your first sensual experience with a current lover.  There was a moment when you had to let down your guard in order to dip your toes in the warm waters of intimacy.  You dared to be vulnerable, and had the courage to expose your true longings.  I'm sure the sex was amazing!

There is nothing more titillating than a woman allowing herself to be vulnerable enough to express what she genuinely desires and needs.  It is the highest expression of her self at that very moment.  Imagine how sexy it would be to say, "I need a really long and deep massage before lovemaking," or "I need you to honor every single inch of my body," or "I need a quickie - NOW!"   A bit turned on already?

Because women are fluid in nature, our needs change.  Your partner will bow down at your feet, kiss your toes, and worship the ground you walk on for the guidance, honesty, and tantalizing variety your truth will bring.

So next time you are blessed with the opportunity for intimacy, remember the following:

1) Be still with your yearning and vulnerability.

2) Understand what you truly crave from this moment of intimacy.

3) Be honest and begin with "I need..."

When you tap into your vulnerability, you are connecting with your inner compass - your guide towards succulent moments of bliss. It will allow you to experience your own version of a pleasure-filled life.

© Lord Coltrane "Spontaneous Explosion of Beauty" in Central Park, NYC

"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. That is the true essence of beauty." - Dr. Steve Maraboli

Happy 4th!  While most Americans celebrate the "Declaration of Independence" with BBQ's, fireworks, carnivals, fairs, and family gatherings, I like to think about what it means for a woman to be truly FREE.

I was recently at a conference in NYC, where I lunched with women I barely knew (but fell in love with immediately!).  Each was different in age, shape, look, size, and temperament.  One of the women declared she had a desire to be naked in Central Park.  So with my camera and passion to inspire courageous acts of beauty, our journey began. 

By the time we got to Central Park, we had a group of fifteen women encouraging and supporting each other.  Now seven glorious women spontaneously decided they would also get naked in Central Park!  It was a bold step towards owning their inner beauty, and setting themselves FREE from the inner criticisms shackling us all down.

The experience was liberating, fun, outrageous, gorgeous, empowering and outright crazy!  Each woman was an explosion of radiance and acceptance.  It was like fireworks on the 4th of July!

IT'S TIME TO IGNITE YOUR INNER FIREWORKS & GET NAKED!

Not all of us are going to strip down in a public place to be photographed in the nude. But, there is something we can all do to ignite the light inside of us - privately.

Get Naked. Get Naked Often. Get Naked & Celebrate!

Strip down and confront yourself in the mirror.  At first you might be too critical, but the more you see yourself naked, the more you will accept yourself as you are.  You will soon realize that self-hate is the product of puritanical messages that nudity is wrong, and patriarchal messages that your body must include overdone nips, tucks, and DD implants to be attractive.

Studies have shown that children who grow up in households where nudity is "no big deal," accept their bodies and are more comfortable with their sexuality (sex therapist Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School and coauthor of Sex Matters for Women).  So, get naked often.  Overtime, you will find a stirring in your body for more self-care and self-love.  You will enjoy eating better and exercising your body because if feels good and is good for your body, not because you feel you have to.

Once you start to get comfortable with your naked body in the mirror, it is time to step it up and celebrate!  Dance naked in the mirror to "Firework" by Katy Perry (or see Bathing in Your Own Beauty), have a party with yourself, jump for joy and self-acceptance.

FREEDOM is daring to be ourselves. FREEDOM is living by our own set of rules.  FREEDOM is loving ourselves inside and out.  FREEDOM is igniting your inner fireworks and celebrating you!

Firework by Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under?
Screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause, baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

You don't have to feel like a wasted space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause, baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colours burst
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough
 

The Birth of Creativity© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane “The Birth of Creativity”

Subject: Fine Artist with her under painting, Mother, Wife, Goddess in training

1)   CREATIVITY IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT:

All women have the potential to create.  We know how to procreate, and are naturally gifted to birth humanity - arguably the ultimate form of creation.  This is proof that you, and all women, have instinctive creative skills.  When you honor your inner gifts, you allow yourself to explore new realities and awaken your potential for expansion in all areas.

2)   CREATIVITY ALLOWS YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR TRUE PASSIONS.

People often judge, and are afraid of, those with explosive imaginations. They cut off the flow of inspiration, remaining “stuck” in a linear path.  As I’ve mentioned before, a straight line in the hospital is not living!

Unlike linear (left brain) thinkers, creatives are allowed to think big, daydream, and toy with meandering ideas that don’t seem to connect. Giving yourself permission to think abundantly, explore fantasies, and imagine without limit, brings you closer to knowing your true passions.  This will guide you to the path of living the life you’ve always desired.

As psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman puts it, “Creativity is nothing more than individual expression of your needs, desires, and uniqueness.”

3)   CREATIVITY IS AN APHRODISIAC

“The female artist is a natural love queen, one of the most potent seductresses on earth.” – Betsy Prioleau

Creative Passion Fulfilled© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane "An Artist's Desire Fulfilled"

Passion has always been linked to creative types, and it is this passion that makes them irresistible. By the ridiculous standards of the media (and plastic surgeons), Barbara Streisand is defined as highly unattractive.  But watch her sing.  It is not just the beauty in her voice that pulls you; it is the passion and love of her art that draws us in. Spy on an artist, be it painter, musician, writer, poet, actress, or anyone who moves throughout their day with artistic passion.  While in the heat of their creativity, you will be consumed and thrilled to the core.

Women are emotional and erotic creatures; a natural aphrodisiac.  Know what you are passionate about, then live it.  You will be irresistible.

4)   CREATIVITY IS THE PATH TO YOUR AESTHETIC PLEASURES

Not only do Creationistas surround themselves with beauty, they turn everything into an aesthetic pleasure.  They are more curious, love variety, and have loads of vision to create and attract beauty.  Nature is a great example of how this works.

You can create shifts in perspective to see beauty in all things.  When you open up to your own creativity, you will learn to greatly appreciate the beauty that surrounds you, you attract more beauty, and you become one with the beauty you see.

5)   CREATIVITY ALLOWS YOU TO HAVE THE MOST LURID LOVE AFFAIR WITH  YOUR LIFE.

Your relationship to your 'self' is most important; you can only take someone where you have been.  So, to teach or give love, you must first love yourself and your life, passionately and fully.

Connection, communication, and passion heats up any relationship.  It makes the world go round.  Once you’ve discovered your passions, and begin to live a life full of pleasure, you will fall madly in love with yourself and all that you choose to do.   Those around you will share your joys and benefit from your fulfillment.

The Creationista of her own life wakes each morning excited to create her day.  She smiles internally at the next rendezvous with her passions.  Each moment, she desperately craves to fulfill more of her desires.  She and her conceived life make beautiful music together.

Women are natural born creators.  So go forth and unleash your artistic souls.  Satiate your craving for a passionate life.  Create your perfect version of a haute life filled with beauty, passion and grace.  Why wait?

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” – Henry Miller

© Lord Coltrane Iphone Photo: "Dreaming" in Lake Como, Italy

I love to travel.  I believe travel opens our minds and hearts.  It allows us to respect our differences and celebrate our similarities.  We learn how to live.

Lake Como, Italy is visually stunning and diverse, the culture graceful and elegant, the vibe slow and dreamy.  And the food, of course, is amazing.  Life on this beautiful lake town is both high-end and laid back.  It’s pretty luscious (you might even bump into yummy George Clooney!)...but you have to get here first.

A Dreamy Traveler’s Secret

Traveling is not always a fluid experience.  On my way to Italy via London, I was accosted by an ATM scam artist, practically crushed by a group of tourists with no concept of personal space, and bogged down with way too much luggage.

But I worry not! Any woman who wants a continuous, dreamy flow through life (especially while traveling), needs only a feather and a sensual playlist to accomplish this goal.

The Light Feather Touch:

One secret to travel flow is to always pack a single feather.  It can be any color, any size. 

Stroking your bare skin with the ends of a feather, morning and night, will calm your nerves. You will get into a state of ecstasy.  It feels divine if your partner is willing to do the feathering for you (take turns if you’re not too greedy!). Studies show that a loving touch promotes emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being.  Babies need it to survive.

Using a “feather touch” will produce a tingling sensation that remains long after it has moved off your body.  You will embody a dream-like flow throughout your travel day.

A Sensual Playlist:

You might appear a little strange stroking yourself with a feather in public, so I suggest you also create a sensual playlist on your smart phone.

When your luggage is delayed, or you have a pack of eager tourists desperately trying to cut in front of you, just pop on the earphones. Or, you can pick one of the songs and hum it to yourself.  You’ll be able to relax into your body and sway internally, while everyone around you remains frantic. 

Music is known to calm the nerves; the power lies in its unique link to our emotions.  The right kind of music can slow your heart rate, lower blood pressure, and decrease stress hormones.  By creating a sensual playlist, you are not only calming your body, you are opening it up to receive pleasure in every way.

Here is my sensual playlist for this European visit. I hope it gets you through the rough spots, and takes you to a dreamy place as it does me.

La Vie en Rose – Grace Jones

Feeling Good – Nina Simone or Muse

Slow Dance – John Legend

Dream a Little Dream of Me – Ella Fitzgerald or Eddie Vedder

Girl from Ipanema – Astrud Gilberto & Stanz Getz or Amy Winehouse

Giving Him Something He Can Feel – En Vogue

(You Make Me Feel) Like a Natural Woman – Aretha Franklin

I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl – Nina Simone

Secret – Maroon 5

Loving You – Paolo Nutini

4 And 20  - Joss Stone

At Last – Etta James or Beyoncé

I want you – Kings of Leon

Son of Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield

Sunshine of Your Love – Ella Fitzgerald

Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You – Lauryn Hill

If you have more sensual music suggestions, please share them!

© Lord Coltrane: Haute Rags 7 Layer Dress

"I want a little sugar in my bowl," croons Nina Simone, "I want a little sweetness down in my soul."  Serenading your man with a sultry voice is one way to woo him into submission. But if you can't sing, you might want to master the art of "Man Training" instead. 

In honor of Father's Day, let's all have a little lesson on how to turn your often late, possibly unappreciative, definitely non-flushing, know-it-all (except where the butter is) man, into a gushing, attentive, sexy, bow-down-at-your-feet, captivated listener, who will do just about anything you ask.

Prepping for your Dominatrix status:

1) First and foremost, you must know what turns YOU on; know exactly what you want from your man (or any man!). Do you want more participation with the household chores?  Would you rather him just listen to you without trying to fix you?  Do you want more gifts? Does softly kissing the right side of your neck feel so much better than sucking your toes?  Memorize what you desire.

2) Besides the obvious, you must also know what turns a man on. Most men are visual creatures, they enjoy a woman who understands that self-care reflects how she feels about herself (I'll be honest, he'd also love a little more skin too).  Men also long to be nurtured, they melt at attention, and they love acknowledgement of their accomplishments or interests.  They do not want to be yelled at.  You can simply ask him what turns him on. You'll be surprised at how short the list is -- men are so lovely and simple!

3) Soften your approach to him, especially towards the habits that irritate you.  Get yourself into a state of bliss before you interact or ask for something.  You will get more of what you want with a little more sugar in your bowl (See tips on how to de-stress and how to bring your sexy back.  Apply these tools before your next interaction, and be prepared to ask for what you desire).

Man Training:

Now that you are in a seductive mood, and you have a clear understanding of both your needs, you are ready for Man Training.  Regena Thomashauer, otherwise known as Mama Gena, offers 3 steps to getting what you want.  I've tried this, and it works!

1) Make him right.  Find one thing that you adore about your man. Is it his eyes, his voice, his intellect?  Do you love the way his arms look when he does the dishes?  Do you love his work ethic?  When you identify that thing you genuinely love, share it with him.  You must be sure that you are in a sultry state, or this may come off as sarcasm.

2) Give him a problem that he can solve.  No man can read your mind, so you must make it very simple for him.  This is where your desires come in.  Ask for one thing that you would like him to do for you, or one behavior you would like to modify (remember change happens in baby steps). Make your request with sincere sweetness in your soul, not saccharine in your tone.

3) Thank him and acknowledge him, especially on the desire you want.

Here's an example of how this might work while you are having a conversation, but he can't stop looking at his smart phone.

Find your sensuality and say, "[Insert your man's name here], your eyes are so sexy when you are focused." Feel free to move closer, stroke his arm gently, and continue with, "It would be such a turn on if you focused on any part of my body like that."  Sway your body and get even closer. Watch him put the phone down, spellbound by your new approach. "Thank you for paying attention to me, I was getting a little jealous of your phone, I love it when you look at me."

Easy peasy! This approach is so much more effective than leaving in frustration, or fighting it out.  It might take some getting used to, especially if you've made a habit of lashing out at every annoying habit (which I totally get!). Believe me, this sassy style will leave him putty in your hands.

You'll soon be purring along with Nina Simone, "What's a matter daddy? Come on, save my soul...Drop a little sugar in my bowl."  And he will.

Forward this to any woman who has a man that needs training!

© Lord Coltrane "Break Time" Location: Lowell Hotel, NYC

Seductive is the woman who embodies natural allure and charm on a deep level.  She is more fluid, open, and receptive to opportunities for abundance in everything.  She inspires and thrills our souls.  She basically gets what she wants.

Our daily grind of work, kids, grocery shopping, and errands hardly leave us any time to feel gorgeous and sexy the way a naturally alluring woman is.  I mean this in an energetically attractive way, not simply physical.

How many of you are still wearing your workout clothes right now?  I know you are comfortable, but if you seek the powers of true manifestation, you might want to change your routine, and try slinking throughout your day.

Here's one surefire way to spice up your daily routine and feel sublime the whole day through.

© Lord Coltrane

The 70/30 Rule:

Take an honest look into your lingerie drawer and note the percentage of cotton underwear over your delicate lace & silk panties.  Do the same for your nude bras and wonderfully inviting push-ups.  If you've named this your "bra and underwear drawer," I know you have broken the 70/30 rule.

Similar to nutritional guidelines suggesting a 70% live, or water based diet (ie. vegetables and fruits because our bodies are made up of 70% water), sexy lingerie should take up 70% of your drawer space.  Women are more exquisite in sensuality and passion, than rigidity and indifference.  Too many cotton briefs say "I don't care all that much."  Sweet, little skivvies say, "I'm delicious."  And you are.

Lingerie is not just for the bedroom.  Every chance you get, you should wear something luscious under your daily "uniform," even if it is yoga pants.  The sexier they are, the more power you will possess.  This power of manifestation comes from your softness, fluidity, and the knowledge you are something special.

The dentist in a white lab coat will be much kinder to you while donning her lace panties and matching bra.  The stay-at-home mom will be fueled by her inner smile at the silk, pink G-string beneath the sweatpants.

Honor yourself everyday.  Adorn the temple that is your body, with panties instead of undies.  You'll be surprised by all the good that returns to you.

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." - Maya Angelou

First, let me honor the late Maya Angelou, who has inspired me with her insight and deep knowledge of both the dark and light side of humanity.  I'm deeply saddened by the loss of one of the most influential, ravishing, wise and authentic of women. I chose this quote and photo of the late Maya Angelou to capture what this week's topic is all about: Your RAGING BEAUTY and how to get there.

DOWN IN THE DUMPS

I know you have felt anger, oppression, victimization and rage at least one time (or many times, like me!) in your life. Unfortunately, we can't escape these intense and often debilitating feelings, nor should we.  As the Buddha would say, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

If you've held in your fury for the sake of grace, beauty and social normalcy, you are actually blocking the way to your RAGING BEAUTY.

LETTING GO OF ANGER

Many healing professionals offer proven techniques to help let go of anger.  You can beat a pillow, scream it out, try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), dance/stomp it away, draw out your frustrations, or wear your rage on the outside (I Hate You T-shirts).  These varying approaches are effective depending on your style and personality, but they all suggest that you MUST go through pain, rage, or anger in order to get over the build up of all this trash.

I admit to being intimidated by aggression. I'm not yet comfortable with violently beating a pillow or throwing a major fit (though I'm positive I need to!).  So here is what I came up with to ease us into admitting to our own anger:  Glam Up The Trash.

"Garbage Never Looked So Good"

 ©Lord Coltrane

Gown: black duct tape, 9 Hefty trash bags, and 2 Brillo pads.

HOW TO GLAM UP YOUR TRASH

All you need are three basic things to glam up your trash: make-up, a hairbrush, and clothes that speak to your dark side.  When you start to feel your charge, take a break, lock yourself in a bathroom, and immediately follow these easy steps towards your Raging Beauty:

1) Get out the make-up.  This will be no ordinary makeover.  Dare to put on a heavy dose of eyeliner and dark lipstick.  At each application, smear a bit of smokey rage eye shadow over your lids. Blot out oppressive feelings with deep colored lips.  Smudge your irritation around your eyes with liner.  You get the idea. Think high fashion, smokey runway make-up. Be careful not to end up with the chaotic, drugged out look of Courtney Love in the 90's (but if that is what you are feeling, go for it!).

2) After you are satisfied with your heavy make-up, give your hair a redo. Part it differently, cover your face with it, or make your hair BIG.  Tease the strands from the roots with strokes of outrage. Try expressing your feelings with words ("I'm so fu©k!*& pissed," etc.) while you flip, curl, straighten or tease each lock of hair.  Let the words and guttural sounds flow wildly.

3) Change clothes if you can.  You don't have to create a Hefty Couture gown (instructions upon request!), but you can sex up your own black pieces in the most forward way possible. Slip on your fishnets with indignation, step into your high-heeled boots with fury, and drape yourself in that little black dress with vengeance.  Start to embody your anger.  You'll end up looking fiercely hot or scary, maybe even both. You are Pele about to explode, a goddess on fire.

4) Now take it out in public.  Walk the streets with exotic fury, stare at your partner with sexy violence.  You'll be intimidating, yet intriguing.  No one will think to mess with you.

Chances are, the charge will dim by the time you remake all your trash. You will enter that sweet spot between rage and release, which is where your RAGING BEAUTY lives.

Tell me how it goes!

We all love the classic fairy tale, where the handsome prince (who also happens to be charming, rich, and capable of slaying dragons), saves the fallen princess.  Believing in this story is very tempting.  Who wouldn't want a delicious man paying all this attention to you?

Truth about Prince Charming© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane

The Problem with Prince Charming

The truth is, there is no Prince Charming!  The idea of Prince Charming was invented by a patriarchal society bent on demoting the power of the goddess (you and all women) to a mere "damsel in distress."

We've been brainwashed to believe that we need a man to save us, that we are incapable of pulling ourselves up to reclaim our power as intelligent, self actualized, and sensual beings.   

Think about what Prince Charming actually means; he is the man who is stuck in the Prince archetype and needs to save everyone.  This act defines him. There are huge problems with a man stuck in this archetype.  He never matures to be "King", or Ruler of a Kingdom.  He continuously needs something or someone to fix.  So guess what?  Once recovered from your moment of rupture, Prince Charming is out looking for the next damsel to save. 

Most fulfilled and self-actualized women do not stay in need for very long.  Yes, we love support and a safe space to vent, but we are far from being completely broken and helpless.  And for those of you who think you need saving, that is just a story someone told you.

What you want is a real man - a god, a King, a Gladiator even.  A man who is so confident in himself that he isn't intimidated by a woman's intuition, brilliance, and sexuality.  He knows women are fluid with their emotions, and knows how to create that sacred space for her to be all that she is.  He sees her as equal.  He worships her.  He is more than Prince Charming can ever be. 

4 Secrets to Finding a "Real" Man.

1) Instead of waiting to be saved, pick yourself up and save yourself.

2) Instead of believing yourself worthy of saving, believe yourself worthy of being WORSHIPPED!

3) Instead of settling for someone who needs to fix you, demand to be accepted just the way you are - warts and all.

4) Instead of searching for the storybook idea of a man, write your own story.

When you start to raise the standards for yourself, and act on a higher and more self-actualized level, you will attract that same energetic frequency within others. 

Hold the men in your life to the highest standards that are worthy of you.   If you do this, you will start to embody the essence of the goddess.  She has the power to rule and create. She is worshipped and celebrated.  She is the ultimate seductress, and the most beautiful of creatures.  The goddess never fades.

Now dear goddess, are you still waiting for Prince Charming?

© Lord Coltrane

Selfie: Lord ColtraneFinding Peace

© Lord Coltrane, Selfie: In studio before a busy day

RELAXING IN THE POSE THAT IS LIFE

My favorite yoga teacher, Bhavani Maki, challenges me to balance, lengthen, and fire the correct muscles during each of my poses.  I often find myself trying to find more flexibility to stretch, more balance so I don't fall, and more strength to stop my tired muscles from wiggling with exhaustion - all at the same time!  That's when she says, "Now you need to relax in your pose."  I laugh inside at this.

But, yoga is a great metaphor for finding harmony, endurance, and the will power to keep stress from invading our every daily lives.   In terms of creating your haute couture life, allowing stress to dominate you is not very productive or attractive. 

Here are some easy tips to help you relax in the pose that is life, and move through stress gracefully and beautifully.

LEARN TO BREATHE

I know that sounds too easy and isn't "new news," but so many people breathe improperly. 

Stand up tall and take in a deep breath.  If your shoulders rise and fall with your breath, then you are breathing incorrectly. Your inhale should fill up the diaphragm first, followed by the chest cavity.  Your shoulders have no business moving.

Every time you need to calm your nerves at work, in a traffic jam, or with your kids, take a moment to breath.  Three long breaths is all it takes. Take in your breath for four counts and release it with another four, keeping your hands on your belly to make sure it goes in right.  This takes 16 seconds of your time!  The focus on your breath will take the charge out of your emotions.  Plus, deep breathing is kind of sexy.

We can survive 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, and only 3 minutes without breath.  Learn to breathe!

TAKE A WALK

Movement is proven to raise your endorphin levels, so taking a quick walk will make you feel better. It will also take you away from the immediate situation, freeing your thoughts from the shackles of your stressed moment. Your mind is free to wander for creative ideas that may help resolve the stressful situation.  Who knows, you might even witness or experience something spectacular on the way.

If you can't get out, do some yoga postures, or simply stretch.  Just move your body!

© Lord Coltrane, Selfie:  in between clients

MINDFUL MEDITATION

Close your eyes and take a moment to be fully present with what YOU are experiencing, not the external cause of it.  Don't try to change or judge. Just be aware that you are angry, frustrated, exhausted, or stressed out.  Instead of "I can't believe my husband is late, AGAIN!" Try, "I feel agitated right now." "I feel insecure sitting alone."  "I don't know what to do with myself." At some point you will tire of the story and either get up and leave, or the charge will ease.  You are the designer of your emotions now, and ready to receive any excuse with style.

The Buddha says that suffering occurs when we try to avoid pain, and try to hang on to past moments of pleasure.  We must go through the discomfort before it releases (Finding Pleasure in the Pain).  If you can make a habit of this, it will take years off!

SAY THANK YOU

I believe in gratitude.  I think the breath behind a "Thank You" goes a long way.  It also keeps everything in perspective.  If you are irritated because someone cut you off on the highway, try thanking the situation and find gratitude in it. "Thank you for waking me up from my hypnotic state while driving." "Thank you for the adrenaline rush." "Thank you for avoiding a major accident."  If your list is long enough, you will start to appreciate the present moment.  "I'm grateful that I can drive this car." "I'm grateful to be alive right now." "I'm grateful I have a purpose to go somewhere."

All these techniques help you relax within the busy schedules, stressful moments, and incredible demands on your everyday life. 

The experienced yoga practitioner knows how to relax in their pose. You too can take a very graceful, peaceful and beautiful approach the pose of your haute life.

Goddess Gestating Goddess© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane: Goddess Gestating Goddess

The Divine Mother lives in Every Woman

The Goddess, or Divine Mother, has been revered for thousands of years in various cultures and religions.  In India they say there is nothing higher than the worship of the divine mother. She is the source of true power: love, creation, nourishment, and beauty.  This feminine creative power lives in each and every one of us.

In honor of Mother’s Day, let us pay homage to the goddess within.  Let us revel in our shared divine essence, and discover how sexy motherhood can be.

Bringing Sexy Back

In the Tantric tradition, the goddess or divine mother, is all about attaining and absorbing pleasure in its purest form – without judgment or attachment.  When you are filled with pleasure, you are so damn sexy.

For Mother’s Day, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of reclaiming your sensuality. 

How many times have you labeled yourself with a one-dimensional definition of “motherhood?” The one that sacrifices her self-care because she is busy cleaning up diapers, dropping the kids off at school, taming a tantrum, or grounding a teen; the one who sacrifices her pleasure because she is too exhausted for really great sex; and the one who sacrifices her desires because little Bobby needs another Lego set.  Sound familiar?

It is time to bring beauty, pleasure and desire back into your "haute mamma" lives.

© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane: Subject: Professional Runner, Mother of 3

Finding Pleasure in the Pain

Not to sound too S&M-ish, but all you have to do to find pleasure and joy in all things (including a dirty diaper) is to surrender all control, let go, and enjoy the pain!  This, of course, requires learning to be in the present moment, fully loving each and every second of the pain (or the pleasure), quieting the ego mind, and finding gratitude for the experience. 

Do you have loads of laundry to finish?  Do you have a deadline at work, but volunteered for the latest field trip to the zoo? Are you having a creative block from the monotonous meals of organic mac and cheese? No problem.  Just follow these four basic steps to loving pain, and you'll be thrilled by the pleasure it brings!

1. Thank the Universe for the opportunity to find pleasure in the most mundane of duties.  (Ah...what a big, huge, luscious mound of laundry! Thank you!)
2. Tell yourself that you love this exact moment, as it is precisely what you need to soften the rough edges of your being. (I LOVE feeling the warmth of cotton and the fresh smell of clean laundry. It's just what I need to calm my mind. I can't wait to dive in and get it done.)
3. Loosen up! Make your body movements languid, not stiff.  Toss your hair, lick your lips, and sway your hips!  Do a slow dance.  Your laundry won't judge. (It feels so good to dance with something clean and warm, that flows with my own rhythm, and doesn't step on my toes.)
4. When you are done with your task, acknowledge your success. Pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself to something special (Bathe in Your Own Beauty). Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. (I did an amazing job with that pile of laundry, I'll have a glass of wine now.)

Try this with any unpleasant situation and you'll find it might ease the pain.  You might even find the whole thing pleasurable.  Motherhood provides us with ample opportunities to create pleasure out of pain.  If pleasure equals sexy, then you are well on your way to being a "haute mama."  Happy Mother's Day.

We have a knack for looking at things, but we don't often know how to see beauty in all things. 

When you witness something, maybe a sunset, an image, or your refection in the mirror, what do you see?  You probably don't think much about it beyond the full landscape. 

In this shot, you might only see a woman, semi-naked, behind an umbrella.

© Lord Coltrane

See with Curiosity

Now try taking a second look and fully digest how this image makes you feel.  Do you love the bright pink color in contrast with the soft white background?  Are you intrigued by what she is (or isn't) wearing?  Is it pleasing or discomforting to you?

Ask yourself why this image might be interesting.  Is she hiding behind the parasol, or just toying with us?  What is she saying with her glance?  Can you relate to her? Why or why not?

You can do this with a sunset, an image, or your reflection in the mirror.  The goal is to see everything with less judgment and more curiosity. This will allow you to find beauty in almost everything.

Mirror Image

We all want recognition of our authentic self, and strive for a more self-loving view of our faces and bodies.  Too many of us battle self-criticism on a daily basis.  To rid us of this limiting habit, all you have to do is appreciate what you see up close. Simply search for the positive in all that you view, and beauty will reflect back at you.

Next time you glance at yourself in the mirror, don't just take a peek, SEE.   See how your hair might fall gently around your face, how your eyelashes surround your loving eyes, how your smile can light up your reflection.  Without judgment, take note of your emotions and how they make others feel. Be curious about what is interesting and compelling about you (there is so much!).  As you take that second look, really SEE how marvelous you are.

© Lord Coltrane

The Spring Equinox is a great time to cleanse the toxins in your body, purge bad habits, rinse away harmful emotions, release negative energy, clarify old beliefs, and purify karma.  At least that is what the leaders of mindful and holistic living will tell you. I too believe this to be true.

If your mind, body, spirit, and living space are cluttered with things that no longer serve you, you will feel stuck.  You might be unsatisfied with your job, your relationships, or your sex life.  It might feel like you are flat lining, which in medical terms, means "dead." That is not so beautiful.

"Beautiful" is you alive and vibrant, eager and willing, curious and inspired.  Beautiful flows.  Find a moment of this, and you will bloom with possibility.

Spring is the time to awaken from the slumbers of winter, to start moving, to bathe in your glorious beauty.  Since there are numerous workshops that deal with cleanses of all sorts, I will focus on just 3 very basic ways to luxuriate in your own exquisiteness. 

It all starts in the bathroom.

1. THE DRAWER PURGE:

Open up your bathroom drawers and purge everything old or unused in the last 3 months. Do you have 5 different colors of brown lipstick? Choose your favorite and ditch the rest. Get rid of all the make up that is crusty or broken - toss them ceremoniously into the bin. The same goes for the old lotions and oils that don't smell good.  You get the idea.  Separate your beauty items from your necessary items (tampons and lip gloss should not live together, neither should Neosporin and massage oil).  This could take just 15 minutes.  Now that you've made room for more things that make you feel beautiful, they will manifest for you in the most miraculous ways.

2. THE BODY CLEANSE

Find pleasure in creating a luxurious bath for yourself. Try adding rose petals, essential oils, and bubbles! Light some candles and listen to tranquil music.  Make it a weekly routine. 

But don't just plop your self into the tub, dip your toes in the water as if you were tasting a gooey piece of delicious chocolate.  Slowly ease your way into the comforting waters and feel the warmth massage its way up your body until you are fully emerged.  Relax deeply, close your eyes and breathe.

© Lord Coltrane

© Lord Coltrane

3. THE SONG AND DANCE

After your bath, you should take a good look at yourself naked in the mirror and fully ADMIRE all your best assets (keep the door locked and don't be shy!).  I happen to love my collarbones and belly button.  Witness your unique beauty in its true form.  Play the song All of Me, by John Legend (or your favorite song that honors the whole person) and serenade yourself.  Dance (yes naked) in the mirror.

"Cause all of me, loves all of you,

love your curves and all your edges,

all your perfect imperfections..."

When you begin to love yourself, you will begin to cleanse what does not serve the highest form of you.   You will be able to set free anything that makes you feel small and insignificant - a person, an unfulfilling job, limiting beliefs and destructive habits.  Then you will begin to glow and bloom. You heart and mind will dance and sing along.  You will come alive.

Starting to purge in a small space will inspire you to go after another drawer (socks?) in your life, whether it is located in your home, mind or heart. Allowing your body to luxuriate in a bath for the sole purpose of pleasure, will awaken you to the things you desire most. Giving yourself a little acknowledgement and love through sound and movement, will blast open doors of opportunities. 

Now that you've bathed in your own beauty, please share with me how delightful you feel.

Red QueenShot in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA

The Red Queen shot in Golden Gate Park: © Lord Coltrane

SPICE UP TRADITION:

I'm not religious, but I do LOVE celebrating the traditions that come with organized religions.  I try to celebrate them all (when I remember and where I can), in either a big or small way.  Celebration adds to the spice of our "haute" lives.

We're well into Passover and Holy Week, with Easter Sunday just around the corner.  Last year I was fortunate enough to celebrate Passover with good friends, as well as accompany my mother to her Catholic ceremony on Easter.  This year, I'm angling to do something a little different and more indulgent.  I'll be heading to San Francisco's Golden Gate Park with my young family to join the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence as they celebrate their 35th Anniversary Easter.

Why should we go?  To broaden our minds, open our hearts, and learn to how to celebrate being a woman in a BIG way. 

LESSONS FROM A "QUEEN"

If you are a "momtrepreneur" like me, you might often find yourself in your workout clothes with your hair in a ponytail - your only accessory an extra hairband around your wrist. Maybe you haven't showered; maybe you won’t that day. I've been there, done that. That look and daily routine made me feel more tired than I was and appear more unappealing than I am. I was stuck in a rut, and so tired of it.

One day I witnessed a beautifully adorned cross dresser, who stood proud and beautiful. I couldn't stop admiring the fully costumed creature oozing with feminine goodness. I wanted some of that. That's when I realized that every day you make a choice to honor your self or not.  He was a man worshipping his feminine in a way I never had. I had to investigate more.

Courtesy of thesisters.org

photo: thesisters.org

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence "is a leading-edge order of queer nuns. Since their first appearance in San Francisco on Easter Sunday, 1979, the Sisters have devoted themselves to community service, ministry and outreach to those on the edges, and to promoting human rights, respect for diversity and spiritual enlightenment. They believe all people have a right to express their unique joy and beauty and use humor and irreverent wit to expose the forces of bigotry, complacency and guilt that chain the human spirit."

This year's theme is An Emerald Jubilee "Trip" to OZ.  Everyone is encouraged to dress in theme (my favorite thing to do).  They'll have a children's Easter Egg hunt, live entertainment, a Hunky Jesus contest, an Easter Bonnet competition, and the all new Foxy Mary Contest.  

These "Sisters" are on to something, and they really know how to celebrate womanhood. We women should try to learn something from them.  After all, how often do we take the time and effort to flaunt our feminine? To make up our faces and dress ourselves with extravagance for the sole purpose of prancing around to be seen? To laugh out loud, taunt, enjoy and be free? We take for granted what these men so lavishly revel in. We might dress up for an occasion or two, but we aren't often parading about showing off our womanhood like we truly enjoy being women.

THE FEMININE CHALLENGE

For no reason at all, try popping out of bed early to enjoy your solo time to prep. Check yourself out in the mirror and focus on the things you love about yourself. Simply enjoy beautifying yourself with some fresh make up and glossy lipstick. Try a new hairstyle; maybe with flowers or a hat.  Dress up like you have a date with a handsome Hunky Jesus of your own. Slip on a pair of great shoes.  Try walking down the street like you are the sexiest creature on the planet. Believe it. Be open to soaking up all the admiration you will positively receive.

© Lord Coltrane

Whether or not you actually meet me at the Sisters' party in Golden Gate Park on Sunday, do join me in celebrating our unique joy and beauty.  Let's adorn ourselves like drag queens with some fabulous place to go.  Let's have some fun and be outrageous. Let's be "queens" for a day!

I've been working with women of all shapes, sizes, skin tones, personalities, temperaments, and style for over a decade now.  As a custom clothing designer and art photographer, I am able to create beautiful stories through a lens influenced by the many unique women who have inspired me.

I See YouLord Coltrane

The State of Being a Woman

Because I am fortunate enough to work with so many amazing clients, I've become captivated by what it means to be a complete woman; what it takes to really know the feminine creature within ourselves.  I've been to workshops, conferences, energy gurus, tantric circles, goddess retreats, psychologists, and anything and everything relating to the creative.  I continue to search out for more enlightenment to share.

I've learned that we are sensitive, strong, emotional, level-headed, crazy, happy, sad, angry, nurturing, frustrated, and fluid beings.  We are mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, and wives. We are employers, employees, givers, takers, and friends.  We can be especially supportive, and equally eager to scratch each others eyes out. We are beautiful. It is exhausting, yet exquisite to own such complexity.

Helping my clients to compose their own complicated, delicate, and exquisite adventures in the story I call womanhood has become an obsession--my haute obsession.

Haute is Hot!

The French word "haute" means "high;" made with high standards. Its proper pronunciation is "ote," but many non-French speakers will pronounce it "hot."  Because of this, I find the French word a perfect way to introduce my blog. While I create with the highest standards and quality that defines "haute," I find that not being so serious about life, allowing for a faux pas here and there, is the best way to enjoy it.

From my experience in fashion, photography, style, and design, to my love of travel, writing and explorations that often have me stepping out of my personal comfort zone, I hope to bring a fresh perspective to how you, too, can create and live an "haute" story of your own--all while seeing and embracing the joys and hiccups that may happen along the way.

Tell me your story.

Coltrane