An excerpt from a GOALCAST article written by lifestyle writer Aly Walansky on Self-Compassion versus Self-Esteem.

Read the full article here!

The difference between doing and being

“I see the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion to mirror the difference between doing and being,” said Coltrane Lord, intimacy and relationship expert and author of Love Avatar.  

When we have self-esteem, we are celebrating what we have accomplished in life; our goals, our abilities, and our accomplishments. “These are all experiences that must be ongoing to keep our self-esteem alive,” said Lord.

If you only focus on celebrating the doing qualities, you will feel like you’ve failed if you don’t accomplish what you’ve set out to accomplish.

Coltrane Lord

On the other hand, self-compassion is a quality of being. “When we have self-compassion, we are practicing radical self-love, radical self-acceptance, mindful awareness, presence, and understanding that each of us is interconnected with each other,” said Lord.

It’s about empowering ourselves, and feeling good about ourselves instead of just expecting better. Self-compassion is an active process. It forces us to practice self-love rather than leaving it to external factors that we hope would reinforce it.

“Self-compassion is the truest essence of confidence, which activates self-empowerment and the empowerment of those around you, which is a much more lasting quality. If you fail at something, it will not affect how you see yourself, it only enhances your character that much more,” said Lord.