"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."
- Oscar Wilde
Ahh Jealousy. A word that inspires such passionate, nasty drama. Show's like Mean Girls and Real Housewives, highlight just how much women can be backstabbing, catty, jealous bitches. We can all relate right? We've either been the victim of cruel criticism, or lashed out a few venomous words ourselves.
Is it not SO surprising that women have the tendency to fall prey to the green eyed monster? Women are half the population, and still the patriarch dominates almost every aspect of life. Across the globe, our bodies are shamed, and our genitals mutilated. We are covered up from head to toe, we are not heard (even if we are, we are labeled too bossy), and we are still not financially rewarded as our male peers. What does that say about our worth?
No wonder we are bitter, competitive, and jealous of our sisters that seem to have "more." We're being fooled to think that there are only a few morsels of abundance and love left at the top. Women are fighters and survivors - of course we will scratch, bite, and step on each other to have our share.
We don't realize that there is plenty of everything for all of us. We can choose to see all women, especially the ones who are jealous of us or who we are jealous of, as revolutionary sisters on the verge of breaking through the confines that make us feel small. What we need to do is look at ENVY with rose colored glasses, instead of green. We need to get Pink with Envy and learn to use our slips into jealousy as something inspirational and productive, rather than competitive and destructive.
You are the fairst of them all...and so is she. If you find yourself going down the wicked path of jealousy, try to be envious in a way that honors another woman. Give someone a compliment using the word jealous, "I'm so jealous of your outfit, you look amazing." You've just honored a feeling you have, plus given a compliment. "I'm so jealous she gets to travel so much, I'm excited to plan a trip." Use your jealousy to uplift and inspire.
You must be interesting. When a woman is hyper critical of you, or you get the feeling that she gossips about you the moment your back is turned, try seeing yourself a woman worth talking about. The only way to avoid criticism or judgement is to do absolutely nothing, which is not an option for empowered women. Understand that judgement is that other person's feeling of insignificance. Be compassionate and know that it takes effort to turn competitive envy into productive envy.
You are enough. We need to know that we are perfect as we are. Once we fill ourselves up with this knowledge, we will not see other women as having "more." We'll see them as an inspiration, and a reflection of ourselves. If you like something in another person, know that you have that quality in you and can choose to nurture it more. If you dislike someone's character, know you also have that quality in you, and can choose to ignore it or improve on it. Other people are a reflection of ourselves. Cultivate what you admire, and deeply look at what you don't. Envy is now a signal for you to take a look within.
Have authority over your jealousy. The feeling is not the problem, it's when the feeling overtakes us. Use envy, directed at you or from you, as a tool to measure your self-worth at that moment. Be envious, but also be happy for someone, there is no sin in that!
© 2021 Lord Coltrane, LLC. All rights reserved.