"Play is the highest form of research." - Albert Einstein
Do you remember having playdates with friends when you were a kid?
Playdates are known to help us develop socialization skills, offer us a sense of community and bonding, open us up to new ideas, and allow for a joyful and fulfilling experience.
I miss having playdates!
Now, I find myself among many adults who take themselves way too seriously. When did we lose our love for those magical moments of awe? Why did we stop having playdates?
Worse, I find that many of us have taken our intimate relationships to the opposite of fun. We have fallen into the tedious reality of functional. I can't be the only one who has experienced intimate relationship boredom.
I don’t know about you, but I’m determined to have more fun. So, I'm creating playdates with my lifelong lover to add more juice to what could easily turn into a cliché and statistic.
I’m grateful that I have a good deal of experience and practice in creating playdates with my clients. I'm lucky that I’m really good at it, and my skills easily translate into creating playdates with my lover. And the great thing is, we are all naturals at playdates because we’ve all been kids before. You too will definitely be good at this.
So let’s play!
When I play I think of these 5 simple ways to creating an adult only playdate with my lover:
1) SCHEDULE A PLAYDATE. “Want to Play?”
Send a text or an invite with your desire to have an adult playdate. This alone will shake up the routine that may have settled into your relationship. Pick a date and stick to it.
2) SET THE SCENE. “Let’s play doctor!”
Figure out what you are in the mood for. Do you want to release some energy? Do you want intrigue? Do you want romance? Remember what your favorite things to play were and go from there. Truth or Dare? Hide and Seek? Chase? Cops and robbers can turn into a 007 dinner scene where you try to seduce secrets out of each other. Tell your partner what the theme is, and give instructions.
3) EXPLAIN THE RULES. “I’m the doctor, you’re the patient.”
Expectations are important in play, otherwise how do we know if the other is playing by the same rules? Give each other an out by establishing an end of game time, or reasons to stop playing. Taboo topics should be clearly stated.
4) GET EXCITED WITH PROPS, COSTUMES, AND TOYS. “We’ll need a stethoscope and some gloves.”
This is your moment to play a role you’ve always fantasized about. I’m currently into Atomic Blond (I’m a brunette!). Wear the right clothes, the make-up, the accessories that take you into another dimension of self. What are the “toys” you need? Use your imagination!
5) HAVE FUN!
This is the part that might be the most difficult, because as you might recall, we take ourselves way too seriously at times. Kids play until they no longer want to, and it’s never an issue. They either stop or play something else. At least for your scheduled playdates, keep everything light. If this game fails, there is always another opportunity for another better game. Remember it is just play!
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