tease: to playfully provoke & haute: of the highest standard
© Lord Coltrane, 2014
Consider flirtation a form of expressing your highest self. Flirtation with our partners is an authentic way of expressing how good we feel inside, and how good we feel with our partners. Plus, it can be really fun.
Many women in committed relationships have shared their insecurities about flirting because of an internal conflict with initiating sex. Sometimes the insecurity relates to deeper, unresolved issues about rejection, or simply the desire to be the one "wanted."
The good news is, most men will never reject their partners' "come on." It is a thrilling change for men to have a woman initiate sex. Initiating sex will give your man a boost in self-esteem, and maybe you too! In regards to "wanting to be wanted," I guarantee that he will more than want you; he will want to devour you after a really haute tease.
From now on, try thinking about flirtation in general (more on that later) and teasing your man, as an exercise in expressing how much you are willing to honor your highest self, playfully and seductively.
1) THE VERBAL TEASE: Make a seductive promise during the day. You can leave a message at the office, whisper in his ear just before he leaves the house in the morning, or send a flirtatious text during the day (men very much enjoy sexting by the way!). Pay him a juicy compliment, or reminisce about a past sexy interlude. Then tell him you have a special treat for him when he gets home. Say something that would be natural, yet provocative.
2) THE NON-TOUCH TEASE: When you both get home, you can play the "can't touch" game. Tell him your surprise requires that you can't touch each other until much later. But do tease him with a barely touching welcome home kiss on the lips. Get your body close to him often. Keep telling him that you really want to touch him. Your senses will heighten simply because you "can't" do something.
3) THE TASTE TEASE: Create a cozy & romantic atmosphere with food and candlelight. You can be very casual about this. Whatever you decide to have for dinner, homemade or take-out, put the meal on one plate and share the utensils. Try feeding him (slowly and sensually!). You will naturally mimic his mouth and tongue movements, which can be quite erotic. For those of you with families, send the kids to bed early and then share a dessert together. Feeding each other bananas dipped in chocolate is yummy, messy, and very sexy.
4) THE VISUAL TEASE: Wear sexy lingerie to bed. Put on a sexy pair of panties and matching bra (or your favorite sexy night gown) and walk in on him in the bathroom. Casually brush your teeth (a little arch to show off your booty doesn't hurt!). Maybe even buy something new for the occasion (see my 70/30 rule).
5) THE COMMAND TEASE: Now it is time to take charge. Lay on your bed with your sexy lingerie, and tell your man exactly what you want him to do. Tell him to take off his shirt. Tell him how. Tell him what to take of next, in the order that you want. Do this slowly and playfully. Laughter is always welcome. Then tell him to get in bed (naked of course!), and lay on his tummy.
6) THE TOUCH TEASE: This is the time when you get to do the touching, not him (yet). Lightly caress his neck, shoulders, hair, and other non-sexual parts of his body with your fingers, but definitely get close to his most sensitive areas. This will drive him mad. Surprise him with something cold or hot. A little ice cube down his back (put a glass of ice by your bed!), a metal intimate toy, or melted massage wax would do the trick. Decide where you want to go with this, but leave the "goods" for last.
The rest is up to you.
I'm positive that your man would be thrilled by your tease. I'm positive he'll worship you for it!
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