"Touch comes before sight, before speech.  It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."

-Margaret Atwood, Der blinde Mörder

© Lord Coltrane

The Seduction of the Senses

Most of us are moving so fast these days that we have forgotten how to be fully present and grateful for each moment.  We have forgotten how to use our natural gifts of the senses to feel, smell, taste, hear, see the abundant beauty that already surrounding us.  Ancient Tantra teaches us about the relationship between our senses and how we relate to the physical world. It also teaches us that through our senses, we connect with others. 

A natural state of bliss is when your energy is luminous, you feel and see things with much more clarity, and the people around you just want to soak in your essence. It often occurs with the combination of dropping into our body (and out of the mind), being fully present with all our senses alive, and experiencing a higher state of being.

The reasons we might feel closed off from our relationships, or find ourselves really stuck, is we haven't yet recognized how little we have opened up to our senses.

I believe that we flow better in our relationships and activities, only if our senses are awakened and receptive to our surroundings.  When we open up to our sensuality (the merging of our emotions with our senses), we are able to step up into a higher state of being so that we not only feel good, we inspire others to feel good too.

Touch

Our skin is the largest organ of our body.  It is the visible bridge between our external environment and our inner sensations.  Our skin is how we understand and stay connected to the world.

There have been plenty of studies on how important touch is to the survival of premature babies.  Our skin is created from the same embryonic layer as the brain and central nervous system.  When our skin is stroked, we lower Cortisol (stress hormone) and increases Oxytocin (hormones that offer a sense of belonging).  Babies learn how to trust and love through our touch. 

If we are in the practice of putting up walls that shut down our sensation of touch, how can we receive loving messages, or send loving energy to another?

How to Awaken Your Sense of Touch to Heighten Your Sensuality

SELF TOUCH

• Massage your entire body lovingly everyday with natural body oils: The Vedic practice of massaging with the right type of oils for your Dosha has been in place for centuries.  To generalize, Vata's have qualities relating to Air and Ether: they are often cold, light, dry, quick, moving and highly communicative. They can use warming oils like Sesame and Almond.  Pitta's have qualities of Fire: they are intense, hot, passionate, penetrating, acidic.  They can use cooling oils like Coconut or Olive oil.  Kapha's have qualities of Earth: they are steady, soft, gradual, easy going, solid.  The lightness of Safflower or Sunflower oils work great for Kapha's. 

• Heighten your skin's senses by caressing it daily with a variety of textures.  Try stroking yourself with a rose, a feather, or different types of fabrics like fur, silk and leather.  I like making a practice out of dancing with these fabrics as I listen to sensual music.

• Hot and Cold Sensations. After taking a warm shower, end it with a cold splash, this will thoroughly invigorate you.

• Pet a soft furry animal.

• Self Pleasure.  Don't be afraid to enjoy a little self pleasuring for no reason at all.  You'd be surprised how better you interact with others when you magnify your sexual energy.  Try a vibrator, or try the doorbell technique where you press down on your clitoris with the same rhythm, but vary the pressure. You don't need to take yourself to a climactic state, you just want to fill up with that stimulating energy.

PARTNER TOUCH

• Give and receive a grounding touch with your partner that leads into a sensual massage. Make sure you use your entire hand, not just your fingers as you stroke the skin of your partner. Use oils appropriate for their Dosha.

• Hot and Cold for Two.  Use a blind fold as you play with hot and cold sensations with your partner.  Try ice cubes alternating it with heated massage wax. 

• Play with your food.  I know we were taught to not play with our food, but sometimes we have to add a little spice to our romantic encounters.  Do try spreading chocolate or other flavors on your partners body and licking it off, it feels really good to both of you, and you get a taste sensation too.  Take turns!

• Foreplay.  Stimulate each others' sexual organs just a tad bit before you head out.  Savor the energy you've created for each other.

Just like any muscle, you need to exercise it before it begins to work for you.  Try focusing on touch this week and enjoy all the pleasures it brings.