"If you change the way you tell your own story, you can change the colour and create a life in technicolor."
- Isabel Allende
© Lord Coltrane 2015, Custom Gown, Fairmont Hotel Penthouse
Everyone has a story they tell, and It either pulls us forward, or holds us back. But it's really how we interpret our life circumstances that can change the meaning of our life stories.
An interesting experiment conducted at Yale University by John Bargh, had subjects handed a cup of cold coffee or warm coffee as they read a description of some individual. The results came back with the subjects holding the cold cup of coffee rating the individual as having a cold personality, while those holding the warm cup of coffee rated the individual as having a warmer personality. All other attributes remained the same.
Our emotional and physical state has a lot to do with how we interpret situations, so WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR STATE TO SEE OUR SITUATIONS AND EXPERIENCES WITH A TECHNICOLOR LENS.
© Lord Coltrane 2015, Lord Coltrane Custom Gown, Fairmont Hotel Penthouse
Before you can rewrite your story into a juicy legend, you must first identify or name the emotional bonds that keep you from fully enjoying your life. Christiane Northrup, MD, writes in her book, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, "Once an experience is consciously named and internalized, physically and emotionally, it can no longer influence us unconsciously." Giving experiences with guilt, shame, or victimhood a name is one of the first steps to changing our stories.
Maybe you feel tied down by a high paying job that you hate. Maybe it scares you more to be alone than in an unhealthy relationship. Maybe you give everything to your family, leaving you feeling depleted and exhausted.
Finding the underlying emotions to these blocks is key to breaking free. What basic human needs are you fulfilling by remaining in situations that ultimately hurt you? Security? Control? Look at your childhood experiences and find themes that continue in your life today.
© Lord Coltrane 2015
It is not enough to just remember painful experiences, we must FEEL and honor them. "Many times healing cannot begin until we allow ourselves to feel how bad things are (or were in the past). Doing this frees emotional and physical energy that has been stuffed, stuck, denied, or ignored for many years," writes Dr. Northrup.
© Lord Coltrane 2015
"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story."
Now that you've honored your past, it is time to rewrite your juicy legend. Simply understanding that you are the writer of your own story, gives you the power to turn your past into something worth sharing. What if you were born into poverty, then worked as a child prostitute, had a child at 14, fell for a high ranking man who leaves you, them worked for a spy in another land? That would be pretty tough and dangerous. You could stop the story there and keep looking at the circumstances that keep pushing you down.
But what if your story doesn't end there? It keeps going, and you eventually become an Empress. This is the true story of Empress Theodora, once slave, whore, then Empress of Constantinople.
You can create a hunger and a passion that gives more meaning to the rest of your life. No matter what your story is, you can rewrite it by changing the meaning of your past, and start taking action to create the future you desire.
I can't wait to hear your stories.
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