© Lord Coltrane Custom Bustier of Leather & Lace to Unleash the Erotic Creature

53% of marriages end in divorce. 41% of married couples have admitted to cheating on their spouses. These statistics show us that there may be an epidemic of comatose romances out there. Google "Unhappy Marriages," and you'll understand why we need to get in touch with our Erotic Creature. 

Our sex drive is important to a vital and energetic life (see the Power of Your Yoni), so we must wake-up and understand what we truly want from our intimate relationships.  This requires stepping out of our sensual boundaries, into the deeper waters of our Eros.

Most people immediately associate Eros with porn.  I am not talking about pornography here.  The porn industry objectifies women on a massive scale, it is sexist, the content is completely unrealistic to what truly gives a woman pleasure, and it keeps relationships detached on so many levels. I am referring to the eroticism in our committed relationships; that essential titillating energy that keeps us connected, loving and alive.

Beneath the social constructs, the shame, and the labels often associated with women's sexuality, you'll find a creature that is flirtatious, racy, and exciting. She is fantasy. She is longing. She is desire.  She is your Erotic Creature. 

Finding Your Erotic Creature

Make a "Turn-On" List:  Try writing down all your secret cravings and fantasies.  Give yourself the option to burn this piece of evidence immediately after you put pen to paper. It will allow you to be completely honest with yourself.

Examples: Sexy Lingerie, Sensual Music, Oil Massages, Gentle Lover (this is the tame stuff, please be wildly open with your list!).

Make a "No-Way" List:  Write down all those kinky ideas you've heard or read about.  There are a lot of ideas in the book "50 Shades of Grey" that you can refer to (I know some of you have read the books and will see the movie!).  If you've said "No Way" to any of these, but are a teeny bit curious, put it down.

Examples: Multiple Lovers, Bondage, Dominatrix (you get the idea).

Somewhere in between the "Turn-On" list and the "No-Way" list, lies your Erotic Creature.  She can be shy and naughty, powerful and aggressive, or a seductive tease.  

Share your list with your partner, or curate it to your comfort level, then create an opportunity to act it out.

Start out easy.  Maybe you want to meet your lover at a hotel bar and pretend you are strangers.  Maybe you simply want to dress the part of a Dominatrix and call it a night.  Maybe you want to receive the best sensual massage possible. Maybe just sharing your list is enough.  The point is to step into new waters with your partner and re-ignite the passions you had when you first met. You want to recreate mystery, uncertainty, and something profoundly intoxicating, all with the intent for deeper love and connection.

Instead of looking at your list with judgment, try curiosity. Yes you are vulnerable, but vulnerability with your partner creates deeper bonds (see The Haute & Juicy Power of Your Vulnerability).  Your intent to keep the passion alive is a gift of love and devotion. Your partner will be thrilled to know a hidden side of you, and euphoric for an opportunity to help you fulfill your desires. 

Enjoy finding your Erotic Creature.  And like all things, keeping a balance of innocent romance, passionate seduction, authentic connection, and scintillating erotica is important.

Feel free to forward this to your partners if you need a little nudge to create your lists! 

Please let me know if you have detailed questions or topics you'd like to read more about.